August 18, 2014
July 20, 2014
So it's definitely summer now and we have the weather to prove it! It's been in the high 20's and into the 30's all last week and we've had several big thunderstorms, which have absolutely delighted little Finn - even the ones in the middle of the night, which make him whoop for joy. During this afternoon's storm he went into the garden and just ran around with his head back and his mouth open drinking the rain and leaping everytime the thunder boomed - he adores anything which is noisier than him!
Poppy finished school on Friday and William finishes this Tuesday (we are keeping Finn in nursery until then too), then we all go on a family holiday to Centre Parcs the very next day - staying for a week in one of their lovely 'treehouse' chalets and planning to do lots of different activities to keep everyone amused. JJ, our nanny is coming with us to help with the kidlets, which i'm very grateful about, and it should be good fun and also peaceful as we are staying in the middle of the forest (well, as peaceful as it can get with 5 crazy kidlets!). Then my Sir has another week off work to go on some outings with the kidlets, but after that it's just me and JJ to keep them all amused until the first week in Sept when they go back to school (we can send Finn to nursery during the summer if we need to, but we'll see how he goes).
In other news, i am in the process of weaning the bitties and it's going ok so far - i knew that it would be tricky with Ollie as he loves to nurse so much, but i'm doing it gradually and he is now accepting milk from a bottle for some feeds and enjoying solids (which he adamently refused in the beginning). Katelyn is only nursing a couple of times a day now, mainly when she is tired, and the rest of the time is drinking from a bottle and also enjoying solids. So we are making progress there. The other main project of the summer is going to be toilet training young Finn, which is something we started a while back but haven't had much success with so far, mainly because it is so tricky to get him to sit still long enough to actually perform on the toilet. But his nursery have had some success, so i'm going to try the same technique they have been using and hope we can finally crack this skill before he goes back to nursery full-time in Sept. That will be one step closer to preparing him to go to school next year.
Think that's all for now, except to mention some noteable occasions coming up - mine and Sir's wedding anniversary, my birthday and Finn and William's birthday, all of which we will have special parties for. Plus my sister is getting married this summer and Poppy, Finn and William all have important roles to play - we have our outfits sorted, which i will try to find time to write about on here. If i don't post here again for a while it's because everything is too busy over the summer, but i hope everyone has a great holiday and rest.
June 29, 2014
Not got much time to post here but just wanted to share some big news with everyone.....
William has started to walk all by himself this week!! He looks like he's about to topple over at any second, but actually he's pretty balanced and hasn't fallen over once - not even on grass.
Yesterday he spent the morning toddling round and round the garden, very happily. It's like he's trying to make up for lost time. He can't stand up from the floor or a chair by himself yet, though he can sit down from standing independently, but once he's helped to stand up he just wants to walk and walk and walk :)
Finn, of course, is so excited by his twin's new skill and spent the whole weekend zooming round him chattering and whooping. We are all so proud of William for this achievement and i'm looking forward to him practising this skill even more at Centre Parcs on holiday and at my sister's wedding.
Thanks for listening :)
June 15, 2014
Our chicks hatched just over a month ago and have been growing so fast since then! The little runtling one is doing well, but is still smaller than the other 4.
We decided to name one each (me, Sir, JJ, Poppy and Finn - as the other kidlets don't understand the concept of naming them), so our 'girls' are now called: Nugget (me), Bronte (Sir), Manok (JJ), Marigold (Poppy) and Mrs Clucky (Finn) - a bit of a weird set of names, but already i am used to calling the girls these and hope they will respond to them. (Apparently chickens are quite clever and can be taught to respond to certain words and learn some tricks).
The chickens are buff brahma bantams like the ones in the picture, and they are a very docile, friendly breed which produce lovely eggs. We decided not to keep a cockerel due to the noise and also we want to eat the eggs and not keep having more chicks. We had to get a completely fox-proof coop and run, which cost quite a lot, but we are hoping it will be worth it in the long run.
The chickens are already proving to have different personalities - Nugget is the boss and is the noisiest one, Bronte is the aloof one, Manok is the naughty, cheeky one, Marigold is the daredevil one and Mrs Clucky (the runtling) is the snuggler. i am looking forward to getting to know our girls more as they grow and perhaps teaching them to perform some tricks. i have been doing lots of research into foods they need to eat, how to keep their eggs and feathers in good condition, whether to clip their wings or not and things to put into their run to keep them amused and entertained.
Think that's all for now, but feel free to ask questions if you're interested.
May 27, 2014
Thanks for all the supportive messages about my bad weekend - i wanted to post a quick explanation here about what happened, without going into too much depressing detail.
Basically, William had a bad seizure Friday evening, which i had to use the diazepam to bring him out of. Then he was very sleepy, which is usual after being given diazepam, but what was not usual is that he went into another big seizure about an hour later and showed no signs of it stopping. i'm only allowed to give him one dose of diazepam in 24 hours, so we called an ambulance and he was taken to the local hospital where they battled for 1 1/2 hours to get the seizure to stop. Eventually he was stable and spent the rest of that night and the next morning hooked up to a drip which was slowly releasing meds into his body.
The doctors made the decision to transfer him to the specialist TS hospital where his consultant is, so he was taken there by ambulance on Saturday afternoon and i went with him (with the bitties), while Sir and JJ stayed at home to get everything ready for Poppy's birthday celebrations. We decided not to cancel as it seemed so unfair for her and also we figured it would help take her mind off of not having me, William or the babies at home. At the specialist hospital they got William checked in and settled down and carried out some basic tests on him on Saturday and then a lot more tests all day on Sunday (he was still pretty out of it, so he didn't really resist). The tests came back inconclusive, so they couldn't really find anything particularly wrong with him and they don't know why he had such bad seizures all of a sudden or why it was so difficult to stop the second one.
They kept William in overnight on Sunday, but by the next day he was a lot more awake and getting quite cranky about being there, so they discharged him Monday afternoon and we have been home ever since. William seems to be his normal self now, thank goodness, but i am worried that it could happen again. However, his consultant has booked him in for a full 'MOT' in 2 weeks time, to check out everything and see if we need to adjust his meds, so i am hopeful that that may bring up something that can help to prevent any more big seizures from happening. me and the bitties stayed in beds/cots next to William's bed (he had a separate room of his own) and the nurses there were so good with helping me look after the babies and keeping them occupied and happy while i was caring for William. Luckily they are pretty good babies and didn't make much fuss, but it was still stressful trying to look after all 3 of them without Sir or JJ and so far from home. Sir popped in to visit us when He could, and apparently Finn and Poppy were really good and Poppy still enjoyed her birthday sleepover, and family BBQ the next day, which i am glad about.
i have made arrangements to take Poppy out somewhere special for her birthday, just me and her, this Friday, while my Mum looks after Finn and JJ has the bitties for a few hours, to try to make it up to her that i totally missed her birthday weekend. She seems to understand but i still feel bad that she has to make so many sacrifices due to her brothers' special needs. Hopefully William is OK now, but it was quite a scare and reminded me just how fragile his health can be, without warning.
Thanks for reading.
Here are the rules:
So, onto the questions from Ava Grace:
Yes i love reading, but i just don't get the time to read much anymore. i tend to have a book on the go, but it can take me months to finish due to looking after the kidlets, and i can find that halfway through i've lost the gist of the story. Re-reading books i've already read is always good though.
i like the 'Kushiel' series by Jacqueline Carey and the 'Wheel of Time' series by Robert Jordan. Otherwise i tend to go for classic authors such as Stephen King, Tolkien, Thomas Harris, Jane Austen, etc.
"Good girl", "little one"...... hmm there's probably more but it's difficult to think of them right now. Often it's the tone of voice and/or the look that get my heart going rather than the actual words.
Purple - it has been for some time.
The Big Bang Theory, Lost, Derek, Friends - for TV shows
Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, The Time Travellers Wife - for both movies and books.
Minimal make-up most of the time - mascara, lipgloss and nail polish (fingers and toes), though i do put on more to go out somewhere special.
Sir has several basques that He likes me to wear and i enjoy putting them on for Him.
Yes especially to places in Africa/Asia. Perhaps when the kidlets are older we can start taking them to places in Europe that i haven't been to yet and then once they are all grown up me and Sir can see more of the World.
Not sure what this question means - i am bi, but very selective with women.
A teacher, or nurse, or something in the 'care' profession. i also always wanted to be married with children - so i got that wish :)
Simple things, like learning to make jams and preserves, watching our family grow up, maybe becoming self-employed in the 'special needs' field.
Hope that was enough info for those questions; now for the 11 random facts about me:
2. my favourite Sunday breakfast is Sir's version of an 'egg Mcmuffin' - which is a poached egg (and sometimes a rasher of bacon) inside a toasted English muffin.
3. i would love to have an unusual pet such as a sugar glider, chameleon or Amazon grey parrot, but all of these take a lot of specialist care which i don't have the time to provide at the moment.
4. i love watching 'reality' TV, such as police car chases, real hospital documentaries, shows filmed in schools, babies being born, etc.
5. i have recently discovered that i have 'ASMR' through watching YouTube videos - i enjoy the 'spa' roleplay ones, and the sounds of having a scalp massage or hair brushing, as well as anything to do with sponges - it makes me feel very relaxed as well as tingly (look it up if you don't know what i'm talking about).
6. i am fascinated by magic and mind tricks (David Blaine, Cris Angel, Derren Brown) and also like to find out how these illusions are done - i often watch videos online explaining them. For one of Derren Brown's 'tricks' i actually knew at the beginning what he was trying to force the participant to choose because he did the Makaton sign for 'giraffe'!!
7. Some of the things i used to hate about my body i am now quite proud of - my wavy hair, my brown hair/blue eyes combo, my large nipples and chocolate brown aureoles.
8. i love old-fashioned sweet shops, where you ask for a certain weight of sweets from a glass jar behind the counter, or choose your pick'n'mix sweeties from behind a glass cabinet that the owner puts into a paper bag, and where you can still get sweeties that i remember from my childhood like white mice, parma violets, fruit salads, etc.
9. i love Kermit the frog - so far i have resisted the temptation to buy a puppet of him but everytime i see them i am tempted - one day i may ask Sir's permission to get one.
10. i am pretty good at keeping to Sir's rules on 'snacks' and will wait for permission to eat between meals, but if i am allowed Pringles or jaffa cakes i find it hard because i want to eat the whole packet rather than the amount i have been allocated (but obviously i do stick to Sir's orders).
11. i love viual confirmation of my 'achievements', such as blog awards, certificates, charms on my bracelet, etc., and when i am feeling doubtful about my abilities, just looking through these can give me courage and confidence.
Hopefully you learnt something new about me in those facts! Now to nominate some more people for this award:
A Dauntless Journey
A Kind Dom
A Master's Viewpoint of the BDSM World
Not Just Bitchy
my questions for all these lovely Dom/mes:
1. When and how did you first realise You were Dominant?
2. Favourite 'play' implement?
3. Aftercare - yes or no?
4. Safewords - yes or no?
5. Safe, Sane, Consensual or Risk Aware Consensual Kink?
6. Do You have real-life, online or both partners?
7. Do You have subs or slaves?
8. Favourite type of underwear for your partner to wear?
9. Are You 'out' to Your friends and family?
10. What 'play' skill would You like to learn or try next?
11. Your opinion on 'brattiness' in subs?
Thank-you again for nominating me for this award - it has made a tricky weekend a little better - see next post for details on that.
May 18, 2014
So this post is to give an update on the chicks we have been hatching out for Poppy's birthday and also to talk about an event we went to with the kidlets yesterday.
We were given 10 fertilised eggs in an incubator, but warned that they probably wouldn't all hatch out and that some that did hatch out might be too weak to make it or might be disabled in some way. The first 8 hatched out fine, but number 9 took a long time to fight its way out and was very very weak when it was born, just laying there barely breathing for hours on end. i was very worried about this little chick and because it hatched during the evening i was scared that if i went to bed it would be dead by the morning.
So i decided to give it a fighting chance - i Googled what to do and found out that warmth and sugar water can help give weak chicks a chance, so i sat up all night with this poor little runtling chick Thursday night, syringing sugar water into its little beak every hour, making sure it was warm, stroking it and talking to it, gently encouraging it to move...... and by the early hours of the morning it was looking a lot brighter and i was able to get a few hours sleep (and catch up on some more of my sleep during the day while JJ looked after the bitties). So our little runtling chick has survived and apart from being smaller than the others there seems to be no difference between them. The 4 male chicks we have returned to the farm we got the eggs from and the 5 girl chicks we have kept (including the little runtling one). We have moved them into a box with a heat lamp as they no longer need the incubator, and they are growing everyday already! We have decided that we will each name one of the chickens (me, Sir, Poppy, Finn and JJ), then in a few weeks time they should be big enough to transfer outside to their coop and run.
Poppy is so pleased with her chicks, and Finn and William are also very interested in them, though we have to be careful with Finn keep wanting to pick them up and run round the house with them. He is pretty careful with them, just quite clumsy so apt to hurt them without meaning to. But i think this little project will be good for all our family and we will all benefit from the fresh eggs, once they start laying.
Yesterday we went on a family outing to London Zoo, as they had a 'special children's day' for kiddies with special needs and their families. Sir got us tickets ages ago when He saw it advertised online, and i'm so glad we went as it was a fantastic day out - they had special events on, Makaton signing and singing in all the shows, dressed-up mascots, sensory experiences, extra 'meet the animal' sessions, events for visually impaired and autistic children, live bands, rides, face painting, etc. It was really lovely to be surrounded by so many other families with special children as nobody blinked an eye when William had a little seizure or did some of his 'stimming' or when Finn was zooming all around the place. We felt very accepted and included and like we were part of a community of others who understood something of what our life is like and accepted all of our children for who and what they are without question or comment. Hopefully we can go to more events like this.
Think that's all for now - will try to update soon.
Wow, i didn't realise it had been so long since i posted here - time seems to be going very fast at the moment and i am busy, but not crazily so, just happily occupied with my family. So i've decided to do an update post on each kidlet, as lots of things seem to be changing at the moment:
Poppy is doing very well at school, so well in fact that the headteacher has decided that she should 'skip' a year and go into Year 3 when she returns to school in September, rather than going into Year 2 as she should. At first i was a little worried it would be too much for her and she would miss being with her friends, but then i realised that actually she has been doing Year 2 work for most of this year anyway (she is in a mixed Year 1/2 class) and therefore most of her friends are from this age group and will be moving up a class in September. So i have agreed that she should go up to Year 3 a year early and am feeling very proud of my bright little button :) (Though it is a bit scary to think that my little girl will be in 'Junior' school this year!).
Poppy is also enjoying all the clubs she does at school and other places and we have agreed that she can start at 'Rainbows' after the summer (which is the younger version of 'Brownies'). We are also going to start letting her go round her friends' houses to play and have dinner etc, which is something we were always reluctant to do before as it was too difficult to reciprocate and invite her friends back to our house, because of the boys. But now that we have our excellent nanny, JJ, we feel that we will be able to invite some of her friends round to ours, so Poppy is very excited about this.
Infact, she has requested a 'sleepover' for 2 of her friends to celebrate her birthday, which is coming up very soon. The two little girls she has chosen are her best friends from school and very sweet little things, so i am not too worried. They are going to come round on Saturday to play and join us for a birthday dinner and then do some girly things before sleeping on mattresses on the lounge floor. i just hope that William and/or Finn don't become too over-excited or have a meltdown due to the changes to the usual routine. But JJ has offered to stay over that night to help us out, so i am confident it will be fine. Sometimes i feel guilty that there's some 'normal' little girl things that Poppy misses out on because of the special needs of her brothers, so i feel it is important that she gets to do things like this as much as possible.
On the subject of her birthday, Poppy has asked to hatch out and raise some chickens as her present, so we currently have an incubator with 10 chickens' eggs in, which are just starting to show some cracks today, so we are expecting them to hatch within the next few days, and then we are going to keep all the female ones. (The males we can return to the farm we borrowed the incubator from). We already have a fox-proof coop and large run set up in the back garden and i have been reading up on chicken care, to make sure our 'girls' will be happy and healthy and hopefully lay us fresh eggs when they get bigger. William loves birds (well mainly ducks, but he does like chickens too), so i think it will be good therapy for him as well.
Poppy is still a very loving big sister, really patient with the boys and so sweet with the new babies - she can't wait for Katelyn to get a bit older so they can do some girly activities together! In the meantime, she is happy to help me out with the babies, keep them amused by singing to them, and share her love of baking and crafts with our nanny, JJ, who spends lots of time doing those kinds of activities with her. Poppy is becoming a proper little person now, so much more grown up, and very bright and curious about the world, loving to learn new things and explore and seemingly changing everyday in front of my eyes. It makes me excited to see the type of person she will grow up into and how her life will turn out. At the moment i would say she will probably work with animals, as she has a huge love of them, but as she is so clever i reckon she could probably succeed at just about anything she turns her hand to.
Finn is doing very well in the special unit of his nursery school and is now able to sit down and learn for short bursts of time, in between his specialised sensory and physical programme. We are also continuing with his programme at home, and he has a swim every morning before breakfast, as well as sensory and physical activities when he returns from nursery in the evenings. Finn also continues to benefit from the clubs he goes to, and is doing very well at them - infact his gymnastics teacher says he is a natural as he has no fear at all and will keep trying and trying with a skill without ever seeming to become tired!
Because Finn is so young compared to the other children in his academic year, being an August baby, because he is doing so well at his nursery and we feel there is so much more he could benefit from there before going to school, and because he is not yet toilet-trained and still wears nappies (though we are working on it), we have decided not to send him to school this September, but to wait until next year when he will have had another year at his special nursery unit and be so much more ready for the challenges of school. i feel that we have made the right decision, but am still worried about how Finn will cope with school once he gets there. But that's for another time.
Overall, Finn is a bit calmer than he used to be - we think that an increase in the amount of (weak) tea we give him (twice a day now), as well as the sensory and physical activities we provide him with, are helping - and of course he is possibly learning to deal with his own energy and hyperactivity levels as he gets older. Don't get me wrong, he is still a whirlwind, always on the go, very compulsive and destructive, gets himself into all kinds of scrapes, is constantly injuring himself with bumps and scrapes (and sometimes more serious injuries), needs constant supervision and can be very tiring to deal with. But i have plenty of help from Sir and JJ, Finn is well looked after at nursery for much of the day, and thankfully sleeps well.
And he is the most fantastic little boy with a huge heart, so sweet and kind towards others and especially towards his twin brother, William. The other day i caught Finn patiently rolling a ball towards William when he was sitting on the floor, and enthusiastically encouraging him to roll it back, and to my surprise William eventually did! Over and over, with Finn shouting and chuckling in delight and William giggling away and clearly enjoying the interaction. For William it is a huge achievement for him to actually 'play' with someone else, and i am so proud of Finn for teaching him this skill, that nobody else has been able to get him to do. i often think how lucky we are that the boys have each other because i genuinely don't think they would be half as fantastic as they each are, if they had not had each other.
Finn is no longer showing jealousy towards Oliver when i hold or nurse him. He is very sweet towards the babies, in short bursts, but doesn't show an awful lot of interest in them to be honest. i am hopeful that as they get older and start moving around he will be more interested in playing with them and spending time with them, because i think he has a lot to offer as a big brother, especially towards Oliver.
my little William continues to do very well with his walking skills and likes to practise them whenever he can - he still needs to be holding onto someone or something (mainly for confidence reasons i think as he seems quite balanced and stable), but is definitely increasing the time, distance and speed he can walk for. The physiotherapist at school is really excited by his progress and she is convinced that he will be able to walk completely by himself soon, and then in her words 'there'll be no stopping him!'. i really am so proud of him for this huge achievement, which i wasn't sure he would ever be able to do, to be honest. my next goal is for him to start communicating purposefully, whether that be through speech, signing or using symbols/pictures as at the moment his only form of communication is through his behaviour.
William is doing well at his special school and seems so much more settled there than he did at first. Apart from the walking thing, his other progress has been minimal, but that's to be expected with a child like William, so i am not too worried. Just knowing that he is getting access to the specialist facilities and therapies reassures me that he is in the right place and from this September he will go full-time (9am - 3pm, 5 days a week), so hopefully he will be able to do even more learning. The plan then is that he will move into the main part of the school the year after and continue attending his special school for as long as it remains the best option for him, which i think is likely to be the case for the whole of his school life, but we will see.
i mentioned above that William has learnt to 'play' with his brother by rolling a ball back and forth and he now enjoys this game with other people too, when he is in the right mood. This really is a breakthrough in his social skills as he doesn't pay too much attention to other people on the whole and just sees them as a means of getting what he wants, but now he is beginning to see them as people to interact and have fun with. i've tried introducing him to other turn-taking games, using some of his favourite toys and sensory equipment, but so far no luck - we will keep trying though. William is also using his hands in more and more ways to explore the world and will keep himself occupied and entertained for long periods of time now - the only problem is that many of the activities he chooses to do are 'stimming' ones, related to his autism. But i'm not too worried about that - i know some parents discourage all 'stimming' as it makes the child disengage from the world and focus solely on that activity or sensory input, but William is 'made' to engage so much at nursery and during therapy sessions and clubs, that i feel he deserves some downtime to do what he wants to do. And if that includes twirling a piece of ribbon by the corner of his eye or flapping his hands or banging objects together repeatedly, then so be it.
The clubs and activities schedule that we revised for William is working out really well. On the whole he enjoys going to them, though sometimes will have a meltdown for no apparent reason and has to be taken out early. He only receives 1 session of ABA therapy a week now, but we never really saw the miraculous results from it that others have reported anyway, so while he continues to make slow progress using this programme we will keep him on it, but at this reduced schedule.
Health-wise, William has been pretty good recently - some major seizures, but no more than normal, and i think the minor seizures have started to lessen a bit. So we keep him on the current cocktail of meds and keep our fingers crossed. In the summer it can be a bit tricky because with one of the medicines he takes it means that he can overheat easily, and getting more fluids into him is not the easiest thing to do, but we will try. Overall i am pleased with how things are going with William and do not have any new concerns to report - so we keep on keeping on!
Katelyn is turning out to be a very sociable little madam, wanting to be where the action is and included in everything. She knows what she wants and will let you know about it in no uncertain terms, crying loudly until she gets it! She is a very happy, contented baby on the whole, no trouble really, as long as she gets to go first with everything and isn't kept waiting.
Katelyn is just beginning to show a real awareness of her twin brother and babbles away to him, though it does sound like she is telling him what to do as there is a real bossy tone to her voice! i joke to Sir that maybe she will turn out to be a Domme when she is older ;)
Katelyn is a bit ahead of schedule with her development - she can roll over both ways and is doing very well with her sitting and pushing through her legs when held upright. (She is coming up for 5 months). All the check-ups have gone well and she is growing and developing fine in all areas.
Ollie is the more chilled-out of my 'bitties' - he is very alert and takes in what is happening but is content to just watch and absorb and doesn't demand attention in the same way that his twin sister does. Ollie does love his food though, and if i am slow to nurse him on demand he protests very loudly! Though he does have a much better feeding schedule now, Ollie is still prone to go into cluster-feeding mode, where he wants to nurse every hour it seems, and he is quite a gourmet feeder, taking his time to savour it, so some days it feels like he is permanently attached to my breast! (i do carry him around in the baby sling during those days though, so i have my hands free to get on with other things).
Ollie is a real snuggly baby, loves to be in someone's arms, but also enjoys being in his swing and bouncer. He was aware of Katelyn quite a while back and would look at, babble to and reach for her, so it is nice that she is reciprocating his interactions now. Ollie seems very bright and clever and all of his skills have developed early so far. He seems to learn new skills very suddenly, there is no gradual practising and refining like normal with babies - one moment he can't do something and then the next he is doing it perfectly! Very strange but also quite exciting to watch!
As with his sister, Ollie has passed all of his check-ups with flying colours and is growing and developing well. He loves the water and being outside and is generally a very contented and happy young man who is easy to care for.
Wow, that update took longer than expected, so some of the details are a bit out of date (such as the chicks hatching), but i will get you up to speed in another post on that. Hope i didn't bore you all too much with ramblings about my kidlets :)
April 13, 2014
So i've finally given up with 'Formspring', which hasn't seemed to be working properly for ages.
i've installed a new 'questions' widget in the sidebar, which connects to 'ask.fm'. i'm hoping that it will work out like the old 'formspring' one did. Please try it out, ask any questions you want me to answer, and feedback to me on how easy it is to use.
Oh, and if you've asked me a question via 'formspring' which i haven't answered yet, i probably no longer have access to it, so please ask me again!
Thanks everyone :)
April 12, 2014
Not sure that's the right title for this blog post, but i'm tired and can't think of a better one right now, so it's going to have to do.
i debated about writing this post, due to the possible negative reactions from some readers, but i decided in the end that i want it recorded here. And if some people do have some criticisms and comments to make, then that's fine.
This post is about me 'educating' others, with regards to William and children like him. Earlier in the week, myself and JJ (our nanny) took all 5 kidlets to the local leisure centre to access some of the holiday activities there. Afterwards we went to the cafe to have a drink and i queued up to get them whilst JJ supervised the kids at the table. i noticed a small group of teenagers (17/18 years old i'm guessing) at a table looking over at William, sniggering and making 'retard' comments about him as he was doing some of his 'stimming' stuff. On the way back with the drinks, i passed by their table and decided on the spur of the moment to stop and say something. It went something like this:
me: "Do you girls plan on having children one day?"
teen 1: "Umm yeah I do....."
me: "Then i hope for their sake that they are born perfectly healthy and not with any special needs at all, judging by your reaction to that little boy over there."
teen 1: "......."
me: "And are any of you driving yet?"
teen 2: "Yes, I am."
me: "Then i hope that you don't go the way some young men do and end up in a serious car accident. Because those can cause head injuries and brain damage and i would hate for any of you to be shunned by your friends because they would then consider you a 'retard'."
teen 2: "......."
me: "By the way, that little boy over there happens to be my son. He was born with a condition which means he has over 5o areas of damaged brain, which leaves him with severe physical and mental disabilities. Yet he faces the world with so much courage and determination and i am so proud to be his mother. i wonder how proud your mothers would be of you right now?"
Then i walked away to their mumbled apologies and shamed faces. i heard them discussing my comments for a while after, though it was difficult to hear everything they said, but i did catch them having a serious discussion about car accidents and how one of the girls knew of someone who had ended up with brain damage after driving his car into a tree. So some of what i said seemed to hit home and perhaps they will think a little more in future before laughing at people with disabilities?
March 16, 2014
February 23, 2014
February 17, 2014
Sometime in the last few days, the little counter tracking the number of views of my blog ticked over the 1,ooo,ooo mark!!
It seems quite unbelievable to me that so many people have visited here to read my humble little writings, especially now that they are less about M/s and more about babies and housework and all that mundane stuff. But i guess people want to know what a real-life M/s relationship looks like when combined with children, keeping the house clean and paying the bills, so they keep coming back!
In many ways myself, and therefore this blog, are completely different now to how we were on 20th August 2006, when i published my first post, 2 weeks before i was collared by Sir. i have come a long way in my understanding of myself as a submissive/slave and also in the life that i lead, since then. i feel that i am a much more confident, content, well-rounded person and much of that is due to my relationship with Sir and discovering/developing my innate submissive side. Though i do miss elements of my 'old' submissive life, when we had much more time to 'play', train and focus on rules and rituals, i am very lucky to have the life i now lead and wouldn't swap it for the world. It just means that our M/s dynamic plays itself out in a slightly different form, and is more subtle and interwoven into every aspect of our daily lives.
Thank-you to everyone who has read and commented along the way. It has been quite a journey and i feel that having this blog has helped me to reflect on my progress, struggles and development in a way that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. It is always fun to look back on past posts and see how far i have come since then and how much things have changed for me since i wrote them. i have no intention of giving up this blog anytime soon, although i don't have time to post as frequently as i did in the beginning. i hope that my readers will continue to enjoy coming here, commenting, sending emails, etc.
If there is anything you would like to see on this blog, features in the sidebar, posts you want me to write, questions answered, any suggestions you have, please add them in the comments and i will see what i can do. Otherwise, thanks a million for helping to make this blog a success :)
February 16, 2014
Yesterday, Sir and i celebrated His birthday (11th Feb) and Valentines' Day, with the 3 eldest kidlets safely out of the house with their grandparents and our nanny, and the 2 newest 'bitties' taking a nap.
We started the day, as is traditional, with me making a special breakfast for Sir - this year i made heart-shaped poached eggs on toast, which were very scrummy. Then we used the jacuzzi together for the first time (i wasn't allowed to use it while i was pregnant or recovering from giving birth, so opportunities have been limited) and Sir *ahem* used me while using the jacuzzi!
We exchanged cards and presents (not allowed to say what i got Sir, but i got some lovely flowers, some of my favourite chocolates and some lingerie for Valentines - thanks Sir!). And then we had a 'picnic' style romantic lunch, which we ended up eating on a blanket on the lounge floor, with the babies in their swings next to us, as it was too cold to eat in the garden!
i know some M/s dynamics don't include romance, presents, Valentines' etc. and there's certainly nothing to obligate Sir to participate in such occasions. But i feel lucky that He wants to and chooses to, and that i get to be pampered and spoilt and appreciated as well as treated as His slave.
Happy Valentines' to all those who celebrate it and a very Happy Birthday to my Sir :)
February 12, 2014
Guess what happened today?????
William learnt to walk, just holding onto an adult's arm for balance and support!!! Before he had to be using his special walker at school, which has a seat part where he can sit down and take some of his weight when he gets tired. But today he had a physio review and they tried him out without the walker and he has built up so much strength and confidence using it that he was happy to take several steps weight-bearing through his legs and just holding onto someone to keep his balance!!! It's sooooo amazing and wonderful, i can't quite believe it!! :)
Of course, we've been practising this afternoon at home and already he is walking longer and longer distances before he stops and already i think he is holding onto me a little less tightly. So the physio says it will just be a case of building up his confidence and then he should be able to walk completely independently. Which would be absolutely fantastic!!
So sooo proud of my little bean :) What a wonderful day!!
February 07, 2014
We started our new clubs 'regime' and on the whole it has been going well. It has been good to get out of the house with Katelyn and Oliver, start introducing them to new places and people and experiences and meet other mums to chat to. But for some reason i have been finding it much harder to get myself, the babies and everything we need organised so that we can make it to the clubs on time, than i ever remember with Finn and William. i have resisted the temptation to be too hard on myself about this, figuring it will just take time and i do have more things to juggle now with 5 kidlets than i did back then, but as the boys are out of the house until 12:30 (William) or at least 5:00 (Finn) i can't really see why i should be finding it so hard. But we have managed to make it to some clubs so far, so a decent start. Another issue with the clubs is working out which of us (me, JJ or Sir) will take, collect and supervise/help each kidlet at each club - with the exception of Poppy who goes to after-school clubs, so just needs collecting. Finn and William both need transporting to their clubs and looking after/assisting whilst at them, then bringing home and often we have multiple kidlets at different clubs at the same time - in different places, starting and finishing at different times. So it is a bit of a logistical puzzle to figure out, but so far we have been doing pretty well with this, with the help of JJ who has been great at supporting us. It helps that Finn's nursery is flexible on what time we collect him, as we pay for the hours we use (minus 3 hours each day he gets for free), so often JJ or Sir can pick Finn up and then go and collect another child from their club. A couple of times Finn or William have had a meltdown at their clubs, meaning they needed to leave early which has caused a few issues, but otherwise we are managing well and all of the kidlets are benefiting from these activities. i just wish i could be there to watch them all take part, but i figure as the babies get older, that may well be a possibility.
me and the babies went to the doctor for our 6 weeks' check-up this week and it went very well. Both babies are doing fine, passed the tests with flying colours and have put on a good amount of weight - Ollie is actually heavier then Katelyn now, which is the reverse of when they were born, but the doctor said this is nothing to worry about, he just enjoys his food too much! i have healed fine from the birth and was given the all-clear to resume gentle exercise, swim, use the jacuzzi, etc. (And of course to start having sex again! i was really nervous about this, but Sir decided to 'bite the bullet' as it were and not give me too much time to think about it and in the end it was fine, though i kept expecting it to hurt for some reason (prolly because i had stitches this time). Now that we have done it once, i am completely relaxed and looking forward to being used lots more by Sir in future, when we get chance!). So i have been enjoying using the pool and jacuzzi this week and want to start horse-riding again soon, if possible.
Now that things are starting to settle into a routine with the new little ones (or 'bitties' as someone very cutely called them the other day) i find my slave side emerging more and more, needing to be fulfilled. It just seems like such a long time since i was able to properly by Sir's slave, and i know that having kids will change that in lots of ways, but i can't help yearning for more of a 'full-on' slave role. i don't really know what it is that i'm missing or needing - perhaps more training, more 'play', more rules and rituals, more routines, more structure? i have been popping into the chatrooms when i can to catch up with friends, but mainly because this gives me an outlet, somewhere i am with like-minded people and can use the protocols and language which fit who i am (albeit virtually) and act towards others in a submissive manner and have others accept me for who i am and acknowledge that important side of me. i'm not meaning to be at all critical of Sir here, as He is so fantastic as my Master and a great Daddy to all the kidlets, and He has a lot of demands and pressures on Him - it's just circumstances that are making me feel like this. And it isn't a huge problem, i'm not depressed or down about it, just feeling the 'itch' and not being able to do much about it. But i am hopeful that as the babies grow, we will be able to get back into our 'groove' somewhat and find some inventive ways to fulfil the M/s side of our relationship.
The other 'bump' which has occurred this week is that first Finn, then Ollie and now William have come down with a vomiting bug. Luckily the being sick only lasts for a few hours, but they have all been really wiped out with it and i was concerned for a while about the lack of feeding Ollie was doing, but he is getting back on track now. Just hoping that no-one else in the family goes down with it, as it has meant lots of extra washing and work this week caring for all the sick ones as well as the rest of the family.
Other than that, i hope everyone is well and looking forward to the weekend - i am looking forward to celebrating Sir's birthday and Valentine's Day next week and hopefully to some smoother travelling along our 'road' in the near future.
January 18, 2014
Sunday am: Poppy ballet, Finn/William horse-riding
Thought i would also add the other activities that the boys do each day to support their special needs, as i used to have a link to this in the sidebar but removed it as things changed.
- swims in our pool every day before breakfast
- accesses physical activities at nursery regularly throughout the day
- uses a weighted jacket at nursery when engaged in sit-down learning activities
- has speech therapy at nursery in small sessions every day
- goes on a walk in the woods with Sir as soon as he arrives back from nursery on a Thursday (as Finn does not have a club on this day)
- uses the trampoline and play equipment in the garden every day after dinner
- has a massage and body brushing every day just before bed
- has a body brushing session every day before school
- has a swimming lesson on Mondays at school
- has a speech therapy group session on Tuesdays at school
- has a physiotherapy session on Wednesdays at school
- has a PD lesson on Thursdays at school
- accesses the sensory room and soft play area on Fridays at school
- uses the trampoline and play equipment in the garden on Thursday afternoons
- has a session in our sensory room every day after dinner
- has a massage every day just before bed
- swims in our pool every Saturday and Sunday
January 12, 2014
January 02, 2014
So i'm not going to set actual New Year's resolutions, but i have been thinking about things i want to work on and achieve this year, and also Sir and i have been talking about some of our plans for this year, so i figured i'd share some details here:
- with regards to the new babies, i want to try to breastfeed them exclusively for the first 6 months or so, then see how i feel about carrying on after that. Also i plan to get them involved in some 'mother and babies' clubs, possibly some of those i went to with Poppy and the boys, but maybe some new ones too. Most of all, i want to really enjoy every moment with these babies while they're still little, because this time is precious and i'll never get it back again. We plan for this to be the last time we have new babies in our family, so i'm going to snuggle them close, spend quality time with them, take lots of photos and videos and treasure the chance to get to know my new little beans this year.
- for William, i want to try to get his seizures a bit more under control by talking to his doctors at his yearly review this year and perhaps tweaking his current meds if they agree. i also want to get him even more settled at school, so that he will eat there and drink better there and join in more activities - all of which will show that he is feeling happy in his environment. i plan to use his IEP meeting, which is coming up later this year, to speak to the therapists working with him at school, get copies of his current programmes, and work on the same targets at home. It would be nice to get William weight-bearing better by the end of the year, perhaps even pulling himself to standing or standing independently holding onto something, maybe even taking steps using a walking frame. my greatest hope is that he starts to walk independently this year, but it may be a bit early to push for that yet - we will see. It would also be nice to work on some of William's sensory sensitivities some more this year, to get him to tolerate a wider range of textures and get him eating a wider variety of foods. Overall, my hope for William in 2014 is that he continues to make progress and develop as much as is possible for him, and that he is happy as much of the time as he can be, and doesn't suffer any major health issues. Sir and i have talked about revising William's current therapy schedule at home, as we feel that it isn't working as well as it could do now that he goes to school every morning - more details on that soon.
- for Finn, we would like to get him involved in some clubs and activities this year to try to use up some of his physical energy, provide him with sensory input and boost his self esteem. We have talked about Judo, gymnastics, horse-riding, swimming and trampolining lessons and are currently looking at what is available, what would suit him best and what would fit into our family schedule the most. Apart from that, my hopes for Finn in 2014 are that he learns to control his behavioural outbursts a bit better, learns to cope with his ADHD a bit more, and continues to be his happy, cheery self. Oh, and that his jealousy of Oliver completely resolves.
- for Poppy, i just want her to continue to enjoy her lessons at school, and have as many opportunities to be stretched and extended as possible, without overdoing it and tiring her out. We are looking into which extra clubs and activities to start Poppy on this year, both those offered by her school and by other companies. And i also want to try to spend more 1:1 time with Poppy in 2014 as i am aware that i don't always get the time to do this as much as i would like.
- as a family, we would like to do some new outings and activities together, spend time at home with each other, make full use of our pool and garden, and bond with the new babies. Also Sir and i have talked about going to Center Parcs for a little family holiday in the summer, when the babies are a bit older, and taking our nanny away with us to help us out. Sir is currently looking into whether this will be possible or suitable for us, and if so we will book it up soon. Our other plans include making full use of the vegetable garden to grow more things, learning how to preserve more of the fruit which is grown in our orchard, possible starting to sell the excess produce we have, and possibly hatching some chicks from eggs and keeping a few chickens in the back garden for their eggs.
- with regards to my submission/slavery: i would like to find ways to serve Sir whilst being the mummy of 5 young children with a nanny around, feel more 'balanced' in my life, learn some new skills and start some simple training with Sir as and when we can, and get back on track with the D/s side to our relationship, even if it needs to be somewhat muted at the moment. Sir has talked about incorporating new rituals and routines into my day which keep me reminded of who and what i am, but won't be too overt. So i am feeling hopeful about this aspect of my life in 2014.
- and finally, personally, i would like to learn and develop new crafts and practical skills this year, work on my scrapbooking, do more cooking and baking and jam-making, things like that. i would like to start some gentle exercise as soon as the doctor gives me the OK to do so, gradually work off my mummy tummy and get myself back into shape by the end of the year, make full use of our swimming pool and jacuzzi and enjoy being in our new house. Basically i want to become a country housewife!
i think that's all our major hopes and plans. Please feel free to ask questions and leave comments :)