March 15, 2015


At the beginning of this year i felt like i went into 'hibernation' mode somewhat - things were quite busy and hectic with the kidlets and i was focused on home and family and projects i wanted to get started on for 2015.

All of which meant i stopped replying to emails and stopped posting on here for a while.

Since then i have emerged from my hibernation state in real-life and am now back to being immersed in everything my daily life has to offer, and am happily busy all of the time.

But for some reason i have had no similar desire to pick up this blog where i left off. i guess i don't need it in the same way that i used to, because as i have grown and developed in my slavery i am more confident in my role and don't need to put my thoughts and questions down in writing to mull over and refer back to in the way that i once did. i still keep a paper journal, but hardly write in that anymore either.

So what i'm saying is not that i'm closing this blog down or anything, just that there's likely to be longer gaps between posts. If anyone has a burning question they want answered, feel free to ask and maybe that will inspire me to write a post, but otherwise i'm just going to let this site drift along for a bit and see what happens......

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December 28, 2014


Soooo things have been very busy around here the past few weeks, as i imagine they have been for most people - but we've had a couple of extra things to celebrate as well as Christmas which has meant extra parties as well.

It started off with the big dinner/dance 'do' for Sir's work at a posh venue in London. i haven't been for the past few years, not since we had the kidlets really as it goes on quite late and it's difficult to find someone to look after Finn and William for the night due to their complex needs. But Sir has recently received a big promotion at work and part of the evening was in honour of that so He really wanted me to go along as His partner this year. After thinking about it and taking some good advice from a friend i decided to hire 2 babysitters who work as learning support assistants at William's school, so are very experienced with special needs kiddies, plus i also asked my Mum to be there for the first part of the evening to help get all the kidlets ready for bed as that's the most stressful and difficult part of the night. Once they're tucked up in bed all of my children sleep really well on the whole (apart from Oliver recently, who has decided the middle of the night is a good time to want to be up and roaming around but can't get out of his cot so screams in frustration!), so i felt confident that the 2 experienced babysitters should be fine until we got back. Although i was a bit nervous because we've never left the boys or the bitties with anyone overnight before (except for a few stays at my parents' house), once we got to the venue i was able to relax and enjoy myself and we soon received a text message to say that everyone was in bed and sleeping peacefully so i felt much more confident about our decision then and was able to thoroughly enjoy the rest of the evening. i had a really lovely time despite feeling a little out of my depth at some moments due to the 'poshness' of the whole thing, but everyone was really nice and it was clear to see how well esteemed my Sir is by His work colleagues and we were sat on a table with some really interesting people. The food was delicious and the drinks were free and the dancing was fantastic fun and it was just lovely to spend time with my Sir kidlet-free for a while and have some grown-up entertainment. (And i was very lucky that Sir bought me a new dress and shoes and handbag for the evening, but i'm not allowed to post pictures here).

Then on Tuesday we celebrated Katelyn and Oliver's first birthday! It's unbelievable to me how quickly the time has gone as i can vividly remember anxiously awaiting their arrival last year and praying they would come before Christmas so that we could be home for the big day - which in the end worked out perfectly though they did cut it a bit fine! Finn is still convinced to this day that they were brought by Santa in the night as the first time he ever met them was Christmas Day morning, and i think that's a really cute thing to believe. We wanted to make their birthday special and separate from the Christmas festivities, but everywhere was unbelievably busy and fully booked so we opted in the end for a family party at home, which the kidlets enjoyed just as much as if we'd hired somewhere. We had all of the bitties' favourite foods (Oliver in particular has a surprising number of favourites considering he's only been on solids for a few months!) and we played games together and just had a great time as a family. Finn kept telling them it was their 'special' day and he really understands the concept of only the birthday boy/girl getting presents  now, which has helped a lot with the tantrums when it's not his day! Not sure how much longer i can refer to them as the 'bitties' either as they're getting so big and learning so many skills, but i reckon i can get away with it for a while longer!

And then of course we had Christmas, which we celebrated at home as a family of 7. All of the kidlets were very well-behaved and delighted with their presents. We caved in in the end and got Finn a pet of his own, which is something that he has been going on about for months - though we didn't get him a goose or a snake or a llama or any of the other crazy animals he suggested. In the end we got him 2 degus (which are similar to gerbils but bigger) and he was absolutely thrilled with them and has called them Tigger and Digger (!) and so far he has been very responsible in remembering to feed them and give them water and has even been happy to help clean their cage out, so so far so good. Finn is actually really good with animals, despite being so impulsive and out of control with everything else and he is really gentle when handling them, so i have no worries there. The degus are friendly little things and seem to really enjoy being taken out to run up and down his arms and sit on his lap to be fed treats, and i am hoping that they will teach him more responsibility, so overall a good buy. Finn also got some Olaf goodies (the snowman from Frozen) as he has really fallen in love with him, plus lots of active toys for outdoors to try to burn off some of his never-ending energy. Poppy also got some Frozen goodies, arts and crafts things, books as she loves reading, some pretty girlie stuff and also a camera which she had requested. William got sensory toys and also some puppets as his teacher said he has started to respond to some puppets she uses in class. And the bitties got more toys and clothes (their main Christmas present was some outdoor toys for the garden as most of the stuff we have is too big for them to use). i was very very lucky in the presents i got, as usual, and Sir was also very pleased with all of the things He got, so everyone was happy. (i am allowed to tell you about my main present which is an 'instax' polaroid camera, which i have been lusting after for months - going to use it to take photos for my scrapbook). Sir and i cooked Christmas dinner together and we all ate too much and had a nap afterwards! And since then we have been enjoying visits to and from family and friends, watching Christmas TV and going to some of the sales.

i hope everyone had a great Christmas and Happy New Year if i don't post again before then.

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December 06, 2014

Getting into the Christmas spirit

We're beginning to feel very Christmassy around here and the kidlets are definitely on the countdown to the big day (mainly Poppy and Finn because the others don't really understand, but even William and the bitties are getting caught up in all the excitement).
The Christmas tree is up and decorated, numerous other decorations have been put up all round the house, the advent calendars are being opened every morning with Finn constantly asking "how many more sleeps now?" (we still have to lock the advent calendars away each night to prevent him eating all the chocolates from his own and his siblings' calendars in the night!), we've already been to 2 Christmas fayres at the kidlets' schools and have the fayre at Finn's nursery coming up, costumes have been made or purchased and sent into school/nursery for the rehearsals, we have our seats booked for 3 separate Christmas shows the kidlets are in and have preordered the DVDs for each of them, we started our Christmas shopping today and have all made lists for Santa (with various amounts of help), we've already visited one Santa in a shop and 2 others at the school fayres and will no doubt see many more, we have plans to go to Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park next weekend, we've watched the singalong version of the Frozen DVD many many times (and i have wrapped presents of Frozen merchandise hidden away for all the kidlets), we've excitedly made plans to celebrate the bitties' first birthday on the 23rd, followed by Christmas with extended family members on the 24th, followed by Christmas Day at home as just the 7 of us, followed by more visits to/from family and friends the week after, we've got our turkey on order, we've booked tickets for the local pantomime and ice-skating show and i've bought Christmas outfits and pyjamas for all the kidlets.........
It's tiring but great fun having 5 young children at this time of year, but i know to treasure these times and memories because all too soon they'll be too old to believe in Santa anymore and then some of the magic of Christmas will be gone forever, never to be gotten back (until i have grandkids!) If i don't get time to write again i want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas.... and i also want to update you all with a couple of bits of good news - both bitties are walking now: Ollie was first to walk independently a couple of weeks back and Katelyn took her first independent steps today, and William has won a school award for 'most improved physical skills' which he will receive during the final assembly of the year!! Really proud of all my kidlets and very privileged to be their Mummy :)

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October 05, 2014

Quiet submission

Recently things have been very hectic in the libby household, especially since the kidlets went back to school/nursery at the beginning of September. Poppy settled back absolutely fine and is doing really well, but it took both the boys much longer to adapt to the change in routine, resulting in very difficult behaviour both at home and at school/nursery.
But Finn soon settled back into nursery (probably because he had been going on/off throughout the summer) and latest reports from his teacher say that he is doing well and is now much more willing to sit down and 'work' for short periods of time when given access to plenty of physical and sensory opportunities throughout the day. Also he has had absolutely no toilet accidents since going back, which is fantastic considering he only properly potty/toilet-trained during the summer holiday.
William took a while longer to settle back into the school routine, but now is doing well and continuing to work on his physio programme, as well as attending regular speech therapy sessions. Still not a lot of progress on the communication, or other more 'academic' fronts, but we are so pleased with his continued progress in physical skills including walking, standing, sitting, moving around as well as using his hands, so i think that he is using all his energy on those areas at the moment and will probably be able to forge ahead in other areas in the future. i think William will always be one of those children who can only work on one thing at a time.
Unfortunately both Finn and William have started to exhibit new and even more difficult behaviours at home since the return to school/nursery, which has taken quite a bit of work on our part to prevent them from hurting themselves, others or damaging property. But we are starting to get more of a handle on it now, finding new strategies which help and working as a team to support the boys during their individual meltdowns when they happen. The worst times are when they both meltdown at the same time, but fortunately that has only happened once or twice, as emotionally they tend to remain very separate and not be affected by the other.
The bitties are doing very well, really thriving and coming on in leaps and bounds in their development. Ollie in particular is very keen to be physically active and to do as much as he can for himself, so it wouldn't surprise me if he started walking early, just as Finn did. Katelyn remains a very alert young lady, wanting to be involved in everything and not allowing us to leave her out of anything! (Really looking forward to Christmas this year, although it will officially be the bitties' second one i am thinking of it as their first!)
In other news, and actually getting around to the title of this blog post, i find ways to submit to Sir, to show and evidence my submission to Him in small subtle manners, to evidence and act upon the nature of our relationship throughout the day, when He is with me and when He is not, even around the children and our nanny and the constraints of being a housewife and busy mother of 5. Too many things to list them all here, and to be honest most of them are so much a natural part of my everyday life now that i wouldn't be able to think of them all to write them down if i tried, but i will give a few examples:
- waiting for Sir to give me a subtle nod of the head to authorise me to start eating at mealtimes, and busying myself with helping the kidlets and the bitties if He chooses to wait a while before doing so
- sitting or kneeling at Sir's feet during everyday family activities, just because i choose to and want to, and the kidlets and JJ the nanny now accept that this is a 'normal' position for me to opt for
- ensuring that i am at the front door to greet Sir when He returns home from work by listening out for His car pulling into the driveway, with the newspaper and a drink ready on the table next to His chair in the lounge
- phrasing things in such a way that Sir can give me instructions throughout the day or tell me that He doesn't want me to do something, or 'ask' for permission for something, without anyone else around us realising that is what is happening
- using all the toiletries and cosmetics that Sir prefers, choosing nail polishes and lip glosses that i know He likes, keeping my hair cut and styled the way He prefers, wearing clothes that He picks out for me each day, remaining naked in bed and in the evening after the kidlets are safely in bed
- baking the cakes, biscuits and other goodies that Sir likes whenever i get chance to, buying the brands of food i know He prefers, ensuring that there is always a plentiful supply of His favourite foods in the cupboards, making sure that He has a drink next to Him wherever He is, giving Sir alone time when i know He likes it, keeping the kidlets out of His study and off His chair

And yes i know that all (or most) of these things are in the rules, instigated and enforced by Sir, but abiding them keeps me secure within my position as slave, gives me opportunities to practise my submission, feeds my need to serve and please and help. To be honest, i live by the spirit of my rules as well as by the letter of them - i am always looking for ways to go above and beyond the letter of the rules as written and keep to the spirit of them in furthering the ways i can serve Sir.

When i first became Sir's slave i imagined the more 'idealised' version of submission - kneeling naked at Sir's feet at all times, always be wet and ready to please Him, frequent 'play' and training sessions, etc, etc. And while that would be nice, actually what i have now is so much more real than all of that and my life is so much more rounded and complete because of everything else i have in addition to my M/s relationship with Sir.

i hope that i have shown a couple of ways in which  i practice 'quiet' submission in my relationship with Sir and how it is possible to be a busy wife and mother as well as a slave. And i am feeling very contented and lucky and complete.

Thanks for reading,

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September 14, 2014

Successes and stresses

September has been a difficult month so far - i got very stressed about preparing the 3 eldest kidlets for their return to school/nursery and that seems to have rubbed off on them, particularly Finn and William who have both taken longer to settle into their routines than expected and both have started to exhibit some new and more challenging behaviours on top of their existing ones.
i have also been worrying about whether we made the right decision to send Poppy up to Year 2 instead of Year 1, but so far she seems happy enough, though it is early days yet.
Due to all these pressures i have been feeling stressed and frazzled for the past couple of weeks, which has made it difficult for me to sleep at night and left me very prickly and easily annoyed. But the past couple of days i have been feeling more like my usual self, better able to cope with things and we had a lovely family day out at the 'Essex Country Show' yesterday (hence the photo), which was just perfect for us - plenty of tractors, motorbikes, farm machinery, tractIon engines, monster trucks etc. to delight little Finn, farm animals, ducks, heavy horses to keep William happy, giant inflatables and vintage fairground rides for Poppy and loads of sights, smells and sounds to amuse the bitties, plus a craft fair and farmers market for me to shop at and rifle shooting, archery and crossbows for Sir to have a go at.
Also i am aware that i promised to blog about the collaring anniversary celebration and haven't done so yet. Though i was very nervous, it turned out to be a great success and Sir was very pleased with me which is all that matters. i also enjoyed myself, despite my nerves. Basically, Sir invited a few of His close Dom friends round for a BBQ and i served them drinks. Yes i was naked, and wearing a clit clamp, head harness attached to an anal hook, plus nipple clamps looped round the straps of my gag and clipped so that they pulled my titties up in a 'salute', but once i got used to walking around like that i just focused on serving well. Later Sir gave me my present which was actually a 'pony play' harness made by one of the other Doms there and He fitted it on me and adjusted it just right and then had me try it out. i couldn't find a similar photo on Google for it - but basically it is a head harness with pony bit gag, a body harness which goes round my titties and between my legs and my hands clip behind my back, there is a pony tail buttplug which is held in place by the straps going between my legs and up to the waist at the back and nipple reins. At the moment i am practising barefeet in it but Sir says He may get me some pony hooves once i am used to wearing it a bit more.
It's actually quite tiring to 'walk' in the correct pony fashion picking my legs up in front of me and i got cropped quite a lot to the back of the legs to remind me, and it makes my nipples sore having the reins pull on them to tell me to turn. And afterwards there is a special ointment which is rubbed onto my nipples and between my pussy lips and around my bottom hole. But Sir was pleased with how i did and after the other Men had left He used me on the lounge floor and left me all floaty and happy.
So hopefully things are looking up now and the end of the month can be a lot calmer than the beginning!

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August 25, 2014


Sir is starting to get some of my training, routines, rituals, rules, etc. as a slave back on track. Obviously it's still very difficult with having all the kidlets around, the bitties being as young as they are, and with the needs of Finn and William. But Katelyn is weaned and Ollie almost so, we have the help of my parents and JJ to look after the others regularly, and i am feeling healthy and ready for more challenges and learning.
Yesterday we had a training session with the kidlets all out of the house, but i was surprised to find out that we will be joined for these weekly sessions by a new friend of Sir's - someone who is a new Dom and wanting to learn. i was really shy and nervous when He turned up, as i haven't been nude or submitted in front of (or to) anyone else for quite some time. But once the session got underway i pretty much dropped down into my submission and went with it and all the nerves went and it felt like it used to.
Yesterday's session was with the flogger - Sir was showing the other Man  (Sir John i am to call Him) how to aim it and time it and different strokes He could use, etc. So today i have some marks on my bottom and pussy from its use. Not sure what will happen in future weeks, but i only have a little bit of nerves about them now that the first one is out of the way.
Something that i am really nervous about though is our upcoming collaring anniversary. i will have been collared to Sir for 8 years at the beginning of September, which is strange because i can remember that day so clearly. But then i think about everything that has happened since then - not least of all getting married, having 5 children and moving house, and then it does seem right that it should be 8 years ago! Sir has decided that on the Sunday (31st Aug) we will celebrate by having some of His Dom/me friends round for a BBQ while the 3 eldest kidlets are out at their usual Sunday morning activities and then with their grandparents, and one of the Doms is bringing His sub to watch the bitties in the house. i am to be the 'serving girl', but beyond that i have no clue what will happen and that makes me very nervous. i trust Sir immensely, but feel very 'rusty' and like i have forgotten everything and i don't want to show Him up in front of all His friends. But i hope it will also be a good experience and part of me is excited and looking forward to it.
We'll wait and see what Sir has planned and how i cope with it all.

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August 18, 2014

A busy summer

It's been a while since i updated here, so i just wanted to fill everyone in on what's been happening for us this summer. Haven't got time (as usual) to do a long post so will keep it brief i'm afraid:
- our holiday to Centre Parcs was great, the treehouse chalet we stayed in was fabulous, with plenty of space, a separate bedroom and bathroom for JJ to stay in, plus our own games room and outdoor hot tub! The kids had a brilliant time, we did a mixture of family activities all together - such as swimming or walking in the forest or ceramics painting (which wasn't as disasterous as it sounds with Finn and William and the bitties), plus we adults split up quite a bit to take various kidlets off to activities they wanted to do. Finn especially loved it, but was a bit disappointed that he wasn't old enough for some of the activities he liked the look of (such as archery and the high ropes course), but there was plenty to keep him occupied. William absolutely loved the swimming pool and being under the trees and quiet walks by the lake and the bitties were so happy and started crawling while we were there which kept us all busy supervising them! Poppy discovered several new interests on holiday, it's hard to keep up with all the things she's into and difficult to know which to let her pursue more seriously in her leisure time, but she's a happy, bright, confident little girl, and i'm sure as she gets older it will become clearer to her where her really true interests lie.
- i celebrated my 35th birthday, which makes me feel old (getting closer to 40 - eeek!) and Sir organised a nice treat for me by paying for a 'spa' lady to come to the house and give me a specially tailored treatment using sponges and brushes, which are my absolute favourite!! She also gave me a full body massage and hair treatment and it was absolute bliss - i'm very lucky. i also got lots of other lovely presents and we had family over for a BBQ the day before, so it was a lovely couple of days.
- my sister got married, with her two boys plus Finn and William as page boys and Poppy and another 2 little girls as bridesmaids. It was a beautiful day and the kidlets were so well behaved and it brought a tear to my eye watching Finn hold tightly to William's hand to guide him while they walked down the aisle, and Poppy was so proud to be a bridesmaid and took her role so seriously and looked so beautiful - i really do have such wonderful children and i'm very proud of them. After much searching i found the perfect dress to wear:
Lace overlay prom dressand was very happy that the day went so well and my sister seems very happy and contented with her life - though she has said that she wants one more baby so we'll see what happens there!
- Finn and William turned 4 and we had their birthday party at the weekend. We hired a soft play centre for them and some of their buddies from nursery/school/special needs groups and everyone had a great time with lots of running and bouncing and sliding and swinging and jumping and party songs and games and plenty to eat and drink and a fire engine cake and party bags and more presents than the boys knew what to do with! Poor William had a big seizure towards the end of the afternoon and slept for a few hours after, then had another 2 big seizures yesterday, so i took him to the doctor today and it turns out he has quite a nasty ear infection, which he is now on antibiotics for. Trouble is he never gives any sign of being ill or in pain, so it's difficult to know anything is wrong until it gets bad enough to affect his seizures, which always makes me feel guilty for not realising, but at least we're dealing with it now. Today he seems his normal self and has been doing well this summer with trying new foods and eating much better in general, and his walking is coming on soooooooooo well and he's so much more steady and balanced now and getting faster everyday! He can now sit and stand confidently by himself from a chair, just needs some help getting up from the floor, but he seems so much happier in himself now that he can move around independently. Next major challenge is his communication skills!
- Finn has also been busy practicing skills this summer and is now virtually completely toilet trained (for number 1 and number 2), which is a huge weight off my mind and makes him so much more independent, and it's one less child to have to keep changing! His speech is also coming along really well, though he seems to be developing a secret language with the bitties which only they understand, as they will babble to each other and Finn seems to know what they are saying and answers them back using the same sounds, which they really listen to - it's odd but we'll see what  becomes of it as they get older.
- talking of the bitties, they are doing really great, getting bigger and stronger and more cheeky every day!! Now that Ollie has learnt to crawl, there's just no stopping him and he is constantly moving himself around and getting into all sorts of mischief as he explores his world, but he's such a happy little man that i can't blame him for being curious and wanting some independence. He's doing well with the weaning too and will happily take a bottle most feeds now, just wanting to nurse from me before he goes to bed and sometimes when he wakes in the morning. Katelyn has all her feeds from a bottle now and both of them love their food too - i haven't found anything they won't eat yet! Because of the weaning my period has returned, which is something i didn't miss to be honest - but i have a new coil inserted which made my periods much lighter and easier last time, so i'm hoping that will be the case now too. We're definitely not planning any more children, we have enough to cope with as it is! But i'm very happy with our family and feel that we're complete (even though we did get an extra!) and i feel extremely blessed to have such as wonderful Sir/husband a loveley home and a fantastic nanny to help us out.
A couple more crazy weeks, then Poppy and William go back to school - William is full time this year and Poppy skips a year - and Finn will be in nursery all day, so just me and the bitties. i'm looking forward to spending some one-on-one time with them and seeing them continue to grow and develop and then before we know it they will be turning 1 and it will be Christmas!
Anyway, enough wishing the summer away - i'm going to enjoy it while it lasts with plenty of days playing with the kids in the garden, swimming in the pool and sunbathing nakie (with plenty of suncream on!). Have a great rest of the summer everyone and i'll catch up with you soon.

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July 20, 2014

Summer time

So it's definitely summer now and we have the weather to prove it! It's been in the high 20's and into the 30's all last week and we've had several big thunderstorms, which have absolutely delighted little Finn - even the ones in the middle of the night, which make him whoop for joy. During this afternoon's storm he went into the garden and just ran around with his head back and his mouth open drinking the rain and leaping everytime the thunder boomed - he adores anything which is noisier than him!

Poppy finished school on Friday and William finishes this Tuesday (we are keeping Finn in nursery until then too), then we all go on a family holiday to Centre Parcs the very next day - staying for a week in one of their lovely 'treehouse' chalets and planning to do lots of different activities to keep everyone amused. JJ, our nanny is coming with us to help with the kidlets, which i'm very grateful about, and it should be good fun and also peaceful as we are staying in the middle of the forest (well, as peaceful as it can get with 5 crazy kidlets!). Then my Sir has another week off work to go on some outings with the kidlets, but after that it's just me and JJ to keep them all amused until the first week in Sept when they go back to school (we can send Finn to nursery during the summer if we need to, but we'll see how he goes).

In other news, i am in  the process of weaning the bitties and it's going ok so far - i knew that it would be tricky with Ollie as he loves to nurse so much, but i'm doing it gradually and he is now accepting milk from a bottle for some feeds and enjoying solids (which he adamently refused in the beginning). Katelyn is only nursing a couple of times a day now, mainly when she is tired, and the rest of the time is drinking from a bottle and also enjoying solids. So  we are making progress there. The other main project of the summer is going to be toilet training young Finn, which is something we started a while back but haven't had much success with so far, mainly because it is so tricky to get him to sit still long enough to actually perform on the toilet. But his nursery have had some success, so i'm going to try the same technique they have been using and hope we can finally crack this skill before he goes back to nursery full-time in Sept. That will be one step closer to preparing him to go to school next year.

Think that's all for now, except to mention some noteable occasions coming up - mine and Sir's wedding anniversary, my birthday and Finn and William's birthday, all of which we will have special parties for. Plus my sister is getting married this summer and Poppy, Finn and William all have important roles to play - we have our outfits sorted, which i will try to find time to write about on here. If i don't post here again for a while it's because everything is too busy over the summer, but i hope everyone has a great holiday and rest.


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June 29, 2014

Sharing some news

Not got much time to post here but just wanted to share some big news with everyone.....

William has started to walk all by himself this week!! He looks like he's about to topple over at any second, but actually he's pretty balanced and hasn't fallen over once - not even on grass.

Yesterday he spent the morning toddling round and round the garden, very happily. It's like he's trying to make up for lost time. He can't stand up from the floor or a chair by himself yet, though he can sit down from standing independently, but once he's helped to stand up he just wants to walk and walk and walk :)

Finn, of course, is so excited by his twin's new skill and spent the whole weekend zooming round him chattering and whooping. We are all so proud of William for this achievement and i'm looking forward to him practising this skill even more at Centre Parcs on holiday and at my sister's wedding.

Thanks for listening :)

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June 15, 2014


Our chicks hatched just over a month ago and have been growing so fast since then! The little runtling one is doing well, but is still smaller than the other 4.

We decided to name one each (me, Sir, JJ, Poppy and Finn - as the other kidlets don't understand the concept of naming them), so our 'girls' are now called: Nugget (me), Bronte (Sir), Manok (JJ), Marigold (Poppy) and Mrs Clucky (Finn) - a bit of a weird set of names, but already i am used to calling the girls these and hope they will respond to them. (Apparently chickens are quite clever and can be taught to respond to certain words and learn some tricks).

The chickens are buff brahma bantams like the ones in the picture, and they are a very docile, friendly breed which produce lovely eggs. We decided not to keep a cockerel due to the noise and also we want to eat the eggs and not keep having more chicks. We had to get a completely fox-proof coop and run, which cost quite a lot, but we are hoping it will be worth it in the long run.

The chickens are already proving to have different personalities - Nugget is the boss and is the noisiest one, Bronte is the aloof one, Manok is the naughty, cheeky one, Marigold is the daredevil one and Mrs Clucky (the runtling) is the snuggler. i am looking forward to getting to know our girls more as they grow and perhaps teaching them to perform some tricks. i have been doing lots of research into foods they need to eat, how to keep their eggs and feathers in good condition, whether to clip their wings or not and things to put into their run to keep them amused and entertained.

Think that's all for now, but feel free to ask questions if you're interested.

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May 27, 2014

Difficult weekend

Thanks for all the supportive messages about my bad weekend - i wanted to post a quick explanation here about what happened, without going into too much depressing detail.

Basically, William had a bad seizure Friday evening, which i had to use the diazepam to bring him out of. Then he was very sleepy, which is usual after being given diazepam, but what was not usual is that he went into another big seizure about an hour later and showed no signs of it stopping. i'm only allowed to give him one dose of diazepam in 24 hours, so we called an ambulance and he was taken to the local hospital where they battled for 1 1/2 hours to get the seizure to stop. Eventually he was stable and spent the rest of that night and the next morning hooked up to a drip which was slowly releasing meds into his body.

The doctors made the decision to transfer him to the specialist TS hospital where his consultant is, so he was taken there by ambulance on Saturday afternoon and i went with him (with the bitties), while Sir and JJ stayed at home to get everything ready for Poppy's birthday celebrations. We decided not to cancel as it seemed so unfair for her and also we figured it would help take her mind off of not having me, William or the babies at home. At the specialist hospital they got William checked in and settled down and carried out some basic tests on him on Saturday and then a lot more tests all day on Sunday (he was still pretty out of it, so he didn't really resist). The tests came back inconclusive, so they couldn't really find anything particularly wrong with him and they don't know why he had such bad seizures all of a sudden or why it was so difficult to stop the second one.

They kept William in overnight on Sunday, but by the next day he was a lot more awake and getting quite cranky about being there, so they discharged him Monday afternoon and we have been home ever since. William seems to be his normal self now, thank goodness, but i am worried that it could happen again. However, his consultant has booked him in for a full 'MOT' in 2 weeks time, to check out everything and see if we need to adjust his meds, so i am hopeful that that may bring up something that can help to prevent any more big seizures from happening. me and the bitties stayed in beds/cots next to William's bed (he had a separate room of his own) and the nurses there were so good with helping me look after the babies and keeping them occupied and happy while i was caring for William. Luckily they are pretty good babies and didn't make much fuss, but it was still stressful trying to look after all 3 of them without Sir or JJ and so far from home. Sir popped in to visit us when He could, and apparently Finn and Poppy were really good and Poppy still enjoyed her birthday sleepover, and family BBQ the next day, which i am glad about.

i have made arrangements to take Poppy out somewhere special for her birthday, just me and her, this Friday, while my Mum looks after Finn and JJ has the bitties for a few hours, to try to make it up to her that i totally missed her birthday weekend. She seems to understand but i still feel bad that she has to make so many sacrifices due to her brothers' special needs.  Hopefully William is OK now, but it was quite a scare and reminded me just how fragile his health can be, without warning.

Thanks for reading.

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Yayyyy an award :)

i've been nominated for a 'Liebster award' by the lovely Ava Grace from The Beauty of Submission - thanks Ava!!

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog - just did it!!
2. Display the award on your blog by including it in your post and / or displaying it using a "widget" or "gadget" - done.

3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you - see below.
4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself - hmm might be tricky to think of things i haven't written about before, but i will try.
5. Nominate 5-11 blogs you feel deserve this award, who have less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display the widget that lets readers know this information) - ooooh i might choose Dom/mes because i can ask them more nosey questions.
6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer - yup yup, onto it....
7. List these rules on your post (done). Once you have written and published it, you then have to:
8. Inform people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it!) - OK, sure.

So, onto the questions from Ava Grace:
1. Do you like to read?
Yes i love reading, but i just don't get the time to read much anymore. i tend to have a book on the go, but it can take me months to finish due to looking after the kidlets, and i can find that halfway through i've lost the gist of the story. Re-reading books i've already read is always good though.

2. What authors do you read?
i like the 'Kushiel' series by Jacqueline Carey and the 'Wheel of Time' series by Robert Jordan. Otherwise i tend to go for classic authors such as Stephen King, Tolkien, Thomas Harris, Jane Austen, etc.
3. What word/s by your Master/Daddy/Sir/Dominant brings flutters to your heart?
"Good girl", "little one"...... hmm there's probably more but it's difficult to think of them right now. Often it's the tone of voice and/or the look that get my heart going rather than the actual words.
4. Favourite colour?
Purple - it has been for some time.
5. Favourite television show/movie/book?
The Big Bang Theory, Lost, Derek, Friends - for TV shows
Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, The Time Travellers Wife - for both movies and books.
6. Make-up or no make-up?
Minimal make-up most of the time - mascara, lipgloss and nail polish (fingers and toes), though i do put on more to go out somewhere special.
7. Favourite piece of lingerie?
Sir has several basques that He likes me to wear and i enjoy putting them on for Him.
8. Do you enjoy travelling?
Yes especially to places in Africa/Asia. Perhaps when the kidlets are older we can start taking them to places in Europe that i haven't been to yet and then once they are all grown up me and Sir can see more of the World.
9. Do you enjoy the sweet delight of women or men alone?
Not sure what this question means - i am bi, but very selective with women.
10. What did you want to be when you were a child?
A teacher, or nurse, or something in the 'care' profession. i also always wanted to be married with children - so i got that wish :)
11. Dreams for the future?
Simple things, like learning to make jams and preserves, watching our family grow up, maybe becoming self-employed in the 'special needs' field.

Hope that was enough info for those questions; now for the 11 random facts about me:
1. Often when i start a new book i will read the last page first so i have an idea about where the plot is going to be heading and sometimes i read magazines from back to front, especially catalogues and brochures.

2. my favourite Sunday breakfast is Sir's version of an 'egg Mcmuffin' - which is a poached egg (and sometimes a rasher of bacon) inside a toasted English muffin.

3. i would love to have an unusual pet such as a sugar glider, chameleon or Amazon grey parrot, but all of these take a lot of specialist care which i don't have the time to provide at the moment.

4. i love watching 'reality' TV, such as police car chases, real hospital documentaries, shows filmed in schools, babies being born, etc.

5. i have recently discovered that i have 'ASMR' through watching YouTube videos - i enjoy the 'spa' roleplay ones, and the sounds of having a scalp massage or hair brushing, as well as anything to do with sponges - it makes me feel very relaxed as well as tingly (look it up if you don't know what i'm talking about).

6. i am fascinated by magic and mind tricks (David Blaine, Cris Angel, Derren Brown) and also like to find out how these illusions are done - i often watch videos online explaining them. For one of Derren Brown's 'tricks' i actually knew at the beginning what he was trying to force the participant to choose because he did the Makaton sign for 'giraffe'!!

7.  Some of the things i used to hate about my body i am now quite proud of - my wavy hair, my brown hair/blue eyes combo, my large nipples and chocolate brown aureoles.

8. i love old-fashioned sweet shops, where you ask for a certain weight of sweets from a glass jar behind the counter, or choose your pick'n'mix sweeties from behind a glass cabinet that the owner puts into a paper bag, and where you can still get sweeties that i remember from my childhood like white mice, parma violets, fruit salads, etc.

9. i love Kermit the frog - so far i have resisted the temptation to buy a puppet of him but everytime i see them i am tempted - one day i may ask Sir's permission to get one.

10. i am pretty good at keeping to Sir's rules on 'snacks' and will wait for permission to eat between meals, but if i am allowed Pringles or jaffa cakes i find it hard because i want to eat the whole packet rather than the amount i have been allocated (but obviously i do stick to Sir's orders).

11. i love viual confirmation of my 'achievements', such as blog awards, certificates, charms on my bracelet, etc., and when i am feeling doubtful about my abilities, just looking through these can give me courage and confidence.

Hopefully you learnt something new about me in those facts! Now to nominate some more people for this award:

A Dauntless Journey

A Kind Dom

A Master's Viewpoint of the BDSM World

Florida Dom

Not Just Bitchy

my questions for all these lovely Dom/mes:

1. When and how did you first realise You were Dominant?
2. Favourite 'play' implement?
3. Aftercare - yes or no?
4. Safewords - yes or no?
5. Safe, Sane, Consensual or Risk Aware Consensual Kink?
6. Do You have real-life, online or both partners?
7. Do You have subs or slaves?
8. Favourite type of underwear for your partner to wear?
9. Are You 'out' to Your friends and family?
10. What 'play' skill would You like to learn or try next?
11. Your opinion on 'brattiness' in subs?

Thank-you again for nominating me for this award - it has made a tricky weekend a little better - see next post for details on that.

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May 18, 2014


So this post is to give an update on the chicks we have been hatching out for Poppy's birthday and also to talk about an event we went to with the kidlets yesterday.

We were given 10 fertilised eggs in an incubator, but warned that they probably wouldn't all hatch out and that some that did hatch out might be too weak to make it or might be disabled in some way. The first 8 hatched out fine, but number 9 took a long time to fight its way out and was very very weak when it was born, just laying there barely breathing for hours on end. i was very worried about this little chick and because it hatched during the evening i was scared that if i went to bed it would be dead by the morning.

So i decided to give it a fighting chance - i Googled what to do and found out that warmth and sugar water can help give weak chicks a chance, so i sat up all night with this poor little runtling chick Thursday night, syringing sugar water into its little beak every hour, making sure it was warm, stroking it and talking to it, gently encouraging it to move...... and by the early hours of the morning it was looking a lot brighter and i was able to get a few hours sleep (and catch up on some more of my sleep during the day while JJ looked after the bitties). So our little runtling chick has survived and apart from being smaller than the others there seems to be no difference between them. The 4 male chicks we have returned to the farm we got the eggs from and the 5 girl chicks we have kept (including the little runtling one). We have moved them into a box with a heat lamp as they no longer need the incubator, and they are growing everyday already! We have decided that we will each name one of the chickens (me, Sir, Poppy, Finn and JJ), then in a few weeks time they should be big enough to transfer outside to their coop and run.

Poppy is so pleased with her chicks, and Finn and William are also very interested in them, though we have to be careful with Finn keep wanting to pick them up and run round the house with them. He is pretty careful with them, just quite clumsy so apt to hurt them without meaning to. But i think this little project will be good for all our family and we will all benefit from the fresh eggs, once they start laying.

Yesterday we went on a family outing to London Zoo, as they had a 'special children's day' for kiddies with special needs and their families. Sir got us tickets ages ago when He saw it advertised online, and i'm so glad we went as it was a fantastic day out - they had special events on, Makaton signing and singing in all the shows, dressed-up mascots, sensory experiences, extra 'meet the animal' sessions, events for visually impaired and autistic children, live bands, rides, face painting, etc. It was really lovely to be surrounded by so many other families with special children as nobody blinked an eye when William had a little seizure or did some of his 'stimming' or when Finn was zooming all around the place. We felt very accepted and included and like we were part of a community of others who understood something of what our life is like and accepted all of our children for who and what they are without question or comment. Hopefully we can go to more events like this.

Think that's all for now - will try to update soon.

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Kidlets update

Wow, i didn't realise it had been so long since i posted here - time seems to be going very fast at the moment and i am busy, but not crazily so, just happily occupied with my family. So i've decided to do an update post on each kidlet, as lots of things seem to be changing at the moment:

Poppy is doing very well at school, so well in fact that the headteacher has decided that she should 'skip' a year and go into Year 3 when she returns to school in September, rather than going into Year 2 as she should. At first i was a little worried it would be too much for her and she would miss being with her friends, but then i realised that actually she has been doing Year 2 work for most of this year anyway (she is in a mixed Year 1/2 class) and therefore most of her friends are from this age group and will be moving up a class in September. So i have agreed that she should go up to Year 3 a year early and am feeling very proud of my bright little button :) (Though it is a bit scary to think that my little girl will be in 'Junior' school this year!).

Poppy is also enjoying all the clubs she does at school and other places and we have agreed that she can start at 'Rainbows' after the summer (which is the younger version of 'Brownies'). We are also going to start letting her go round her friends' houses to play and have dinner etc, which is something we were always reluctant to do before as it was too difficult to reciprocate and invite her friends back to our house, because of the boys. But now that we have our excellent nanny, JJ, we feel that we will be able to invite some of her friends round to ours, so Poppy is very excited about this.

Infact, she has requested a 'sleepover' for 2 of her friends to celebrate her birthday, which is coming up very soon. The two little girls she has chosen are her best friends from school and very sweet little things, so i am not too worried. They are going to come round on Saturday to play and join us for a birthday dinner and then do some girly things before sleeping on mattresses on the lounge floor. i just hope that William and/or Finn don't become too over-excited or have a meltdown due to the changes to the usual routine. But JJ has offered to stay over that night to help us out, so i am confident it will be fine. Sometimes i feel guilty that there's some 'normal' little girl things that Poppy misses out on because of the special needs of her brothers, so i feel it is important that she gets to do things like this as much as possible.

On the subject of her birthday, Poppy has asked to hatch out and raise some chickens as her present, so we currently have an incubator with 10 chickens' eggs in, which are just starting to show some cracks today, so we are expecting them to hatch within the next few days, and then we are going to keep all the female ones. (The males we can return to the farm we borrowed the incubator from). We already have a fox-proof coop and large run set up in the back garden and i have been reading up on chicken care, to make sure our 'girls' will be happy and healthy and hopefully lay us fresh eggs when they get bigger. William loves birds (well mainly ducks, but he does like chickens too), so i think it will be good therapy for him as well.

Poppy is still a very loving big sister, really patient with the boys and so sweet with the new babies - she can't wait for Katelyn to get a bit older so they can do some girly activities together! In the meantime, she is happy to help me out with the babies, keep them amused by singing to them, and share her love of baking and crafts with our nanny, JJ, who spends lots of time doing those kinds of activities with her. Poppy is becoming a proper little person now, so much more grown up, and very bright and curious about the world, loving to learn new things and explore and seemingly changing everyday in front of my eyes. It makes me excited to see the type of person she will grow up into and how her life will turn out. At the moment i would say she will probably work with animals, as she has a huge love of them, but as she is so clever i reckon she could probably succeed at just about anything she turns her hand to.

Finn is doing very well in the special unit of his nursery school and is now able to sit down and learn for short bursts of time, in between his specialised sensory and physical programme. We are also continuing with his programme at home, and he has a swim every morning before breakfast, as well as sensory and physical activities when he returns from nursery in the evenings. Finn also continues to benefit from the clubs he goes to, and is doing very well at them - infact his gymnastics teacher says he is a natural as he has no fear at all and will keep trying and trying with a skill without ever seeming to become tired!

Because Finn is so young compared to the other children in his academic year, being an August baby, because he is doing so well at his nursery and we feel there is so much more he could benefit from there before going to school, and because he is not yet toilet-trained and still wears nappies (though we are working on it), we have decided not to send him to school this September, but to wait until next year when he will have had another year at his special nursery unit and be so much more ready for the challenges of school. i feel that we have made the right decision, but am still worried about how Finn will cope with school once he gets there. But that's for another time.

Overall, Finn is a bit calmer than he used to be - we think that an increase in the amount of (weak) tea we give him (twice a day now), as well as the sensory and physical activities we provide him with, are helping - and of course he is possibly learning to deal with his own energy and hyperactivity levels as he gets older. Don't get me wrong, he is still a whirlwind, always on the go, very compulsive and destructive, gets himself into all kinds of scrapes, is constantly injuring himself with bumps and scrapes (and sometimes more serious injuries), needs constant supervision and can be very tiring to deal with. But i have plenty of help from Sir and JJ, Finn is well looked after at nursery for much of the day, and thankfully sleeps well.

And he is the most fantastic little boy with a huge heart, so sweet and kind towards others and especially towards his twin brother, William. The other day i caught Finn patiently rolling a ball towards William when he was sitting on the floor, and enthusiastically encouraging him to roll it back, and to my surprise William eventually did! Over and over, with Finn shouting and chuckling in delight and William giggling away and clearly enjoying the interaction. For William it is a huge achievement for him to actually 'play' with someone else, and i am so proud of Finn for teaching him this skill, that nobody else has been able to get him to do. i often think how lucky we are that the boys have each other because i genuinely don't think they would be half as fantastic as they each are, if they had not had each other.

Finn is no longer showing jealousy towards Oliver when i hold or nurse him. He is very sweet towards the babies, in short bursts, but doesn't show an awful lot of interest in them to be honest. i am hopeful that as they get older and start moving around he will be more interested in playing with them and spending time with them, because i think he has a lot to offer as a big brother, especially towards Oliver.

my little William continues to do very well with his walking skills and likes to practise them whenever he can - he still needs to be holding onto someone or something (mainly for confidence reasons i think as he seems quite balanced and stable), but is definitely increasing the time, distance and speed he can walk for. The physiotherapist at school is really excited by his progress and she is convinced that he will be able to walk completely by himself soon, and then in her words 'there'll be no stopping him!'. i really am so proud of him for this huge achievement, which i wasn't sure he would ever be able to do, to be honest. my next goal is for him to start communicating purposefully, whether that be through speech, signing or using symbols/pictures as at the moment his only form of communication is through his behaviour.

William is doing well at his special school and seems so much more settled there than he did at first. Apart from the walking thing, his other progress has been minimal, but that's to be expected with a child like William, so i am not too worried. Just knowing that he is getting access to the specialist facilities and therapies reassures me that he is in the right place and from this September he will go full-time (9am - 3pm, 5 days a week), so hopefully he will be able to do even more learning. The plan then is that he will move into the main part of the school the year after and continue attending his special school for as long as it remains the best option for him, which i think is likely to be the case for the whole of his school life, but we will see.

i mentioned above that William has learnt to 'play' with his brother by rolling a ball back and forth and he now enjoys this game with other people too, when he is in the right mood. This really is a breakthrough in his social skills as he doesn't pay too much attention to other people on the whole and just sees them as a means of getting what he wants, but now he is beginning to see them as people to interact and have fun with. i've tried introducing him to other turn-taking games, using some of his favourite toys and sensory equipment, but so far no luck - we will keep trying though. William is also using his hands in more and more ways to explore the world and will keep himself occupied and entertained for long periods of time now - the only problem is that many of the activities he chooses to do are 'stimming' ones, related to his autism. But i'm not too worried about that - i know some parents discourage all 'stimming' as it makes the child disengage from the world and focus solely on that activity or sensory input, but William is 'made' to engage so much at nursery and during therapy sessions and clubs, that i feel he deserves some downtime to do what he wants to do. And if that includes twirling a piece of ribbon by the corner of his eye or flapping his hands or banging objects together repeatedly, then so be it.

The clubs and activities schedule that we revised for William is working out really well. On the whole he enjoys going to them, though sometimes will have a  meltdown for no apparent reason and has to be taken out early. He only receives 1 session of ABA therapy a week now, but we never really saw the miraculous results from it that others have reported anyway, so while he continues to make slow progress using this programme we will keep him on it, but at this reduced schedule.

Health-wise, William has been pretty good recently - some major seizures, but no more than normal, and i think the minor seizures have started to lessen a bit. So we keep him on the current cocktail of meds and keep our fingers crossed. In the summer it can be a bit tricky because with one of the medicines he takes it means that he can overheat easily, and getting more fluids into him is not the easiest thing to do, but we will try. Overall i am pleased with how things are going with William and do not have any new concerns to report - so we keep on keeping on!

Katelyn is turning out to be a very sociable little madam, wanting to be where the action is and included in everything. She knows what she wants and will let you know about it in no uncertain terms, crying loudly until she gets it! She is a very happy, contented baby on the whole, no trouble really, as long as she gets to go first with everything and isn't kept waiting.

Katelyn is just beginning to show a real awareness of her twin brother and babbles away to him, though it does sound like she is telling him what to do as there is a real bossy tone to her voice! i joke to Sir that maybe she will turn out to be a Domme when she is older ;)

Katelyn is a bit ahead of schedule with her development - she can roll over both ways and is doing very well with her sitting and pushing through her legs when held upright. (She is coming up for 5 months). All the check-ups have gone well and she is growing and developing fine in all areas.

Ollie is the more chilled-out of my 'bitties' - he is very alert and takes in what is happening but is content to just watch and absorb and doesn't demand attention in the same way that his twin sister does. Ollie does love his food though, and if i am slow to nurse him on demand he protests very loudly! Though he does have a much better feeding schedule now, Ollie is still prone to go into cluster-feeding mode, where he wants to nurse every hour it seems, and he is quite a gourmet feeder, taking his time to savour it, so some days it feels like he is permanently attached to my breast! (i do carry him around in the baby sling during those days though, so i have my hands free to get on with other things).

Ollie is a real snuggly baby, loves to be in someone's arms, but also enjoys being in his swing and bouncer. He was aware of Katelyn quite a while back and would look at, babble to and reach for her, so it is nice that she is reciprocating his interactions now. Ollie seems very bright and clever and all of his skills have developed early so far. He seems to learn new skills very suddenly, there is no gradual practising and refining like normal with babies - one moment he can't do something and then the next he is doing it perfectly! Very strange but also quite exciting to watch!

As with his sister, Ollie has passed all of his check-ups with flying colours and is growing and developing well. He loves the water and being outside and is generally a very contented and happy young man who is easy to care for.

Wow, that update took longer than expected, so some of the details are a bit out of date (such as the chicks hatching), but i will get you up to speed in another post on that. Hope i didn't bore you all too much with ramblings about my kidlets :)

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