Humiliation

August 25, 2009

Humiliation

This is a new area of training for me, and something that Sir wants me to try out online and then with Ma'am before He takes it further with me. In a way i think it would be easier for me to do it with Sir first rather than Ma'am, but i have to go along with what Sir thinks and actually the humiliation training i have done so far with Ma'am has really helped to deepen my trust in Her so maybe this is the right way round to do it after all.

Anyway, i wanted to write about some of the humiliation training Ma'am has done with me so far (though i'm going to leave out most of the juicy details i'm afraid because i'm too shy to write them here) - i have learnt 3 humiliation positions ( a 'nappy changing' one, one kneeling forwards with nose on the floor and hands and feet attached to a spreader bar, and one bent over with my wrists tied to my ankles) and had different gags and clamps and hooks and speculums etc put in. Ma'am always takes photos during humiliation sessions which i never get to see, so that really adds to the feelings, especially because i don't know how bad i look in them or even what She does with them afterwards. And this last weekend just gone She brought a Domme friend of Hers along with Her subbie boy. i was sooooo nervous about doing the training in front of them, but it went ok and i soon forgot they were there to be honest because they kept very quiet and just watched from the corner, and the most surprising thing about it all was how submissive and accepting i became really quickly of whatever Ma'am wanted to do with me and i started just going along with it instead of worrying about what She was going to do next or how it was making me look.

And the other surprising thing was that it made me cum - i'm not sure that was Ma'am's intention because She's told me before that these sessions are not about my pleasure, but She had wound some really thin thread-type stuff round my nipples so they felt like they were going to explode and she had put a huge butt plug in and i had a gag and a nose hook in with my arms tied above my head, and after some flogging of my bottom She suddenly pulled the thread off my nipples and it made me cum straight away, there was nothing i could have done to stop it and then She pulled the other one off and it made me cum again whilst i was already cumming so that my legs got very wobbly and i floated away to the special libby place. i was worried that Ma'am would be cross with me for cumming because i hadn't exactly asked permission or anything, but She was pleased with me and said i'd done really well that session and She knew i couldn't have helped it. And Sir was really pleased when He heard about the session too - He said that i'm 'getting the right headspace' now, whatever that means.

So apparently i have a couple more sessions with Ma'am before Sir takes over the humiliation training and She moves onto other things....... i'll have to wait and see how that all goes, but for now i'm happy with myself.