another year in slavery

September 06, 2009

another year in slavery

September 2nd was our official collaring anniversary but we decided to save the celebration for the weekend when we have more time together, so we celebrated it yesterday. Sir has forbidden me to write certain details on here, but suffice it to say we had a lovely day, exchanged gifts, spent time enjoying each other and went out to the barn in the afternoon (when Poppy was safely at my sister's house), where my bottom and titties got a thorough flogging which i can still feel today! Sooooo a happy libby and Sir :)

i just wanted to reflect here on the 3 years i have been collared by Sir, because when i look back at how i was then and how i am now there are some big changes. One of the biggest changes is to do with my attitude, both in how i think about myself and how i think about my slavery. Back at the beginning i was in denial of even being a slave, adamently telling everyone that i was 'only' a sub. i was scared of slavery and everything it entailed, frightened of the extremity and finality of it, but fascinated and compelled by it at the same time. i thought it would strip away who i am to become a slave, that i would no longer be me, that i would lose something vitally important and never be the same person again...... all of which turned out to be true in a way when i did finally admit to who and what i was, but not in the negative way i feared but a very positive way instead. i found it to be very liberating to admit to what i was, to give in to it and accept it. It's made things so much simpler for me and i feel that i have grown as a person as well as a slave because of it. And everyone who knows me remarks on how content and satisifed and happy i have been since 'moving in with' Sir (i.e. since being collared by Him).

The other part of my attitude to change has been that i no longer have to consciously remind myself that i am Sir's sub/slave, think about what my rules are, question whether i should do something or not, make a deliberate effort to work on my training or to follow Sir's wishes. Instead it is now something that i do naturally, all the rules and routines have become part of what i automatically do, without having to think about it, which is shown by the fact that i have not needed to be punished for anything since i was pregnant, which is a long time now :) Sir said to me the other day that He could take away all the rules and replace them with just one: 'To follow my Master's wishes and requirements in everything i do', and i would be able to do that now because i know precisely what is expected of me. And i didn't get all panicky like i once would have done when Sir mentioned taking the list of rules away, because i know that i would cope just as well as i am at the moment. That's a big step for me because it shows i am becoming less reliant on outside factors in my slavery and much more able to maintain a good level of service by myself, so i'm proud of me for this!

The other major change from when we first started is Poppy. Now we both have someone else to consider in all our decisions, besides our M/s dynamic, and obviously it affects everything we do. But i think we have been able to adapt well and incorporate both elements of our life together, without compromising on either side too much. So i have still have rules and rituals and routines and training and play and contact with others in the lifestyle, and i still wear my collar and charm bracelet, etc. It's just that the rituals have had to become more subtle, and more flexible, and the play and training have had to be carefully scheduled and timed and managed around when Poppy is out of the house, and we both have to be ready for her return. And i have to plan time for reading and research and blogging more carefully than i used to, otherwise it would be easy for them to fall by the wayside. But overall i think we have created a healthy balance, and i feel that all my needs are being met very well and i feel content and satisified with what is given to me.

So happy anniversary Sir, and here's looking forward to another fantastic year together. i love You :)

libby

xxxx