September 20, 2009
subdrop
Not sure if i've posted about this before, and too tired now to trawl through the archives to find out, but recently a reader emailed me asking about this subject, so i thought it would be useful to discuss my experience of it, and get your thoughts on it too, cos i'm always interested to know how other subs experience things.
Some people are doubtful that subdrop really exists, and many claim not to have experienced it at all, and in the beginning i didn't experience it so i thought maybe i was one of the ones not to have it. But since then i definitely have experienced it to varying degrees after a 'play' session, so i know it's not just a myth. With me it usually happens straight after a scene/ play session - i get very floaty and quiet and feel very small and little and i want to curl up and snuggle and rest, all of which is fine but the problem is that unless i have a strong supportive Man there holding me and reassuring me that i did well and everything is fine i can suddenly crash down and get very sad and lonely and anxious and unsure about things and that is not a very nice feeling at all. Sometimes this feeling can wait for a few hours to happen, and occasionally remnants of it remain the next day, but normally for me it is immediate and lasts about an hour or so and then it goes away.
i can't really pinpoint what exactly causes subdrop in me, but it does tend to be the more intense scenes, and i have also noticed that it has happened after every single humiliation session in my training with Ma'am so far (including this morning). So i think it's something to do with how i feel during a scene, where my headspace is, that decides whether or not i will 'drop' afterwards. Nothing really dangerous about my form of subdrop, but it certainly does help to have someone there to coax me through it. But i have heard of more extreme forms, where the sub requires a lot of aftercare..... anyone out there like to chip in?
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5 comments:
"More extreme forms, where the sub requires a lot of aftercare...."
6:37 PMMy subdrop can be akin to panic attacks, sometimes. crashing from the high of subspace, on top of already being bipolar, is a hard cocktail of chemical emotional response. i flux between not being able to be touched, being scared, and needing, desperately, the comfort and touch of my Dom. The new Master that i am being considered by, is trying to take a new approach with me, preventing this hard drop. i feel lucky that He is willing to work with me on this.
thanks for commenting :)
4:34 PMlibby
xxxxx
Hi libby,
8:08 PMfor me the further into subspace I go, the further my drop will be afterward. Subdrop is horrible to go through. I become downright freaky sometimes--I sometimes just cry and cry--can't stop it seems. Omega takes extra good care of me during those times, he makes sure I eat something, drink water, plenty of rest and some exercise, like a nice walk. He's learned more or less how to anticipate when things are likely to be really bad and plan accordingly. Like he wouldn't plan an intense scene or something the day before a big family gathering...it's just something else he now takes into account when he plans our playtime.
mouse
i think the most important thing about subdrop is for the Dom to be there for the sub, and know what they need to help them through it.
5:30 PMlibby
xxxxx
Just found your blog after LunaKM provided a link via twitter - I had to laugh at the title, because both my online journal and sex blog are called "Musings of a Submissive Masochist" lol
11:46 PMI have felt similar drop to what you have experienced - feeling small and hurt and wanting to curl up and be comforted.
The first time I felt subdrop, I ended up bursting into tears at the end of a particularly intense session. My poor Master was at first confused, but almost instantly - and instinctively - knew what to do. I took me to the bath and made me curl up in the tub while sat beside me and bathed me. This was incredibly erotic and romantic - utterly non-sexual and for some reason made me cry all the harder. The depression caused by the drop lasted until our next session - where suddenly my emotions seemed to SNAP back into place and I was back to normal.
It remains one of the weirdest experiences of my life. I still get drop occasionally, but now know how to recognize it and can signal my Master that there is a problem. He isn't much for cuddling, but if I am tending towards drop he will curl up with me afterward. It really does seem to help!
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