Q & A

November 22, 2009

Q & A

Stole these questions from Roles Defining Rules (here), because i think they're really interesting:

1. who are you and what do you identify as?
i am libby, 30 years old, and i identify as a mother and a slave - both real-life, live-in, full-time ;)

2. where did you get your name?
ummmm i go by my first name 'libby' both here and on the chatrooms i visit, which is what everyone calls me in real-life too as i hate my full name of 'Elizabeth' (i always thought it was too posh and formal for me). But Sir tends to call me 'little one', 'pet' or other such names which i really like.

3. what drew you to M/s?
i was really drawn to BDSM/ submission, and in the beginning i was adamant i could never be a slave or be in a M/s relationship because they were both too intense for me. But gradually i came to realise that i was a slave and i was already in a M/s relationship with Sir, it was just different in reality to how i imagined it would be. So in a way i guess the need to be dominated, controlled, given orders, the need to please and serve and obey, drew me eventually to M/s.
4. do you hope to gain anything as a person from M/s?
yes, i hope to gain happiness and contentment and satisfaction and fulfillment from being in a M/s relationship, because this is what i feel i was meant to be. Also i think that being a slave helps to develop my character and personality because i am able to be who i really am, and feel confident enough in Sir's abilities to let Him push me to do things i would never be able to do without Him and that has really helped me grow as a person.

5. what do you hope to gain in your relationship from M/s?
i hope to gain a deeper connection, more trust and respect and honesty and openess, and ultimately love and adoration, because of the bonds which necessarily develop between a Master and His slave. And i think we've got that because i can truly say that this is the closest relationsip i have ever been in in my life.

6. what for you is the hardest part of your chosen role?
although i am getting much better at this now, in the past i have struggled with not being able to serve Sir as often or as deeply as i would like to sometimes, due to other pressures on my time such as looking after Poppy, etc. And the other thing i find hard is submitting when i'm having a bad day and just don't feel like getting out of bed to make Sir a hot chocolate at 10:30pm, or having to wait naked by the side of the bed after my shower until He says i can get dressed, or not being able to just go to the fridge and get myself a snack whenever i feel like it (i'm not even allowed to ask for a snack between meals). But most days those problems don't occur.

7. do you foresee this being a part of your life forever, or do you think it will eventually fade away?
this is a tricky question and one i often think about. In a way it's hard for me to imagine being in my 70s or 80s and still being a slave to Sir, but i guess that we would tone down some of the physical stuff and i would still submit mentally and emotionally to Him. Also i think that by the time we get to that stage, we will just naturally act as Master and slave because that's the way we will have been living together for so long, so to let it fade away would just seem wrong. And another part of me realises that once our children have grown up and left home (wayyyy in the future) that will give me and Sir a second lease of life in our dynamic and we could well go back to the intensity that we had before Poppy came along with regards to the rules and overt displays of submission when we are at home. So overall i tend to think that this will be part of my life forever now.

8. what's your favourite rule?
ooooh good question. i like this one: #4. when i am not in the presence of my Master and i have choices to make, i will decide them to the best of my abilities and within the boundaries and guidance He has established for me. i will try hard to balance to needs of my children with those of my Master. i will find ways to maintain our dynamic without affecting the upbringing of our children, under His guidance.
i like that one because it gives me the reassurance that i can make decisions without consulting Sir, so long as i remember my rules and try to do what i think Sir would want me to. And also it reminds me that Sir cares very much about our children and does not want our relationship to be detrimental in any way to their upbringing, so if i get into a situation where i am not sure whether to meet the needs of my children or of Sir, i can confidently go with the children's needs and explain it to Sir later and He will not be cross with me. i also think these rules are important:
#53. i am allowed to remain in contact with my family, friends and colleagues, through phone calls, emails, letters, having them visit, visiting them and going out with them.....
#55. i am allowed access to my laptop, the internet and #bondage chatrooms......
because it stops me being cut off from other people who are important to me, and it keeps me healthy and happy as a person and therefore better able to serve Sir. Also it reassured me in the early stages that Sir wasn't some kind of abusive predator seeking to cut me off from all forms of outside support apart from Him. And this rule is also important to me:
#59. in decisions involving the children and their upbringing, i have an equal say with my Master. This is the only area in which i am afforded an equal voice, all other aspects of my life remain under His control.
for 2 reasons - firstly because it would be very difficult for me to be a good mother if i wasn't able to follow my own instincts in bringing up and caring for my children, and secondly because i need to still be a slave even though i am a mummy, and having it stated in my rules that raising our children is the one and only area i get an equal say is actually very comforting to me and reminds me that mine and Sir's basic dynamic has not changed.
9. what is more important in a M/s relationship: love, respect or compatibility? Why?
not love, because even though Sir and i love each other i don't think it's necessary to have a good M/s relationship. Respect is very important though, but i know some people would argue that a Master does not need to respect a slave even though the slave should respect the Master - that's not my opinion though and i feel that two-way respect is very important to maintain the trust between the two people. Compatibility definitely helps, though again i think it would be possible for two very different and seemingly uncompatible people to have a successful M/s relationship by sticking closely to the rules. So of the three, i would say respect is the most important.

10. how do you feel about limits in your current relationship? What do you have?
it is important for me that i am allowed limits, and that Sir will respect them, but i wish that i didn't have so many, and i hope that maybe Sir will be able to help me get rid of some of them like He has in the past. At the moment my limits are: children, animals, scat, blood, needles, breathplay, extreme pain, face slapping, spitting, single-tail whips.
i hope you found these answers interesting, and if anyone has any other questions they want me to answer please leave a comment. Or please feel free to answer these questions yourself and leave me the link :)