Responsibilities

Someone on the chatroom the other day made a comment about how Sir's wedding vows had made her cry, and the reason was that He mentioned His responsibilities which go along with being my Master. And it made me realise 2 things: firstly how important it is for Masters to recognise the huge responsibilities which come with owning a slave, and secondly how often i have seen this responsibility lacking in the comments and behaviours of 'Doms' on the chatroom and how this is linked to me being able to tell which are true Doms and which are wanabees.

Gonna pause at this point to apologise if parts of this post are not very clear, but i am nice and floaty at the moment from a session with Sir this morning, while Poppy was at my sister's, and i doubt i'll be bothered to go back later to edit this post, so you'll just have to try your best to make sense of it - sorry!
Anyway, getting back to the point of this post. i think it is really important for a Master to realise that when He takes on a slave as His own, collars her, takes away all her control and choices, etc. that it's not all going to be fun and games and endless blow jobs and having someone wait on Him hand and foot, He has to accept that He now has 2 people's lives to be responsible for and in a way He needs to take even more care of His slave than He does Himself because she has no opportunity to make decisions for herself. And also because of a slave's mindset, often we tend to put our own needs to the bottom of our list of priorities, which can end up being harmful to us in the long run. So it is up to the Master to make sure the slave's essential needs are being met, so that she remains healthy as a human being and in her best condition to carry on serving. If you think about it, there are big responsibilities which come with owning an animal as a pet, or a horse or whatever, so these responsibilities are so much more when you own another human being, seeing as people are so much more complex than animals.

But it seems that lots of so-called Doms don't realise this, and they are still stuck in the mindset of "I am Dom, you fall to your knees and obey", even when they've never met you before. It gets so annoying to see that attitude, but after a while in the chatrooms most subs just roll their eyes and ignore it and concentrate their energies on the few Doms who have proved to be more than just a capped nick eager for a blow-job. Because there are some genuine Doms out there, who understand the needs of the subs, who want them to get something out of it as well as themselves, who care about the feelings and well-being of those they play/chat with, who take the time to check limits before a scene and provide aftercare afterwards, all of which fall into the 'responsibility' category for online interactions as far as i'm concerned. How much more then must fall into that category in a 24/7 r/l dynamic?!

Rant over :)

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Lil update

We were meant to be spending the day at the aquarium with our bumps and babes group today, but Poppy got sick while we were there, so we've come home early. And now she is sleeping and i'm feeling restless because our plans got changed and flame is still poorly and i'm worried about her, so Sir sent me on here to do some blogging and then this afternoon i'm sticking in all the photos into the Poppy albums and then me and Sir are going to watch a DVD together. i wasn't sure what to write about, so i thought i'd do a '101 list' update to let people know all the things i've crossed off recently:

#9. grow my own fruits and vegetables in the garden - i'm soooo impressed with myself because this is the first time i've ever tried anything like this, and i got some beautiful tomatoes and beans, loads of courgettes, some carrots and parsnips, and tons and tons of gorgeous fruits like raspberries, strawberries, gooseberries and blueberries :)
#71. incorporate BDSM elements into our wedding ceremony - i was a bit worried about this one, expecting some difficult questions from my family and friends afterwards but nobody batted an eyelid about the somewhat unconventional vows or the butterfly release and theme or my necklace (collar) etc. so it went really well, and all our BDSM friends appreciated the symbolism and it made it mean so much more for me and Sir.
#98. travel to new countries - we did this on our honeymoon cruise, stopping off at Greece, Italy, Spain, Croatia and Gibraltar, and had a fantastic time!
#92. gamble in a real casino ... and:
#100. have something named after me - both of these happened on my 30th birthday when Poppy gave me a rose which is officially named after me, and Sir gave me money to spend in the ship's casino for my birthday treat :)
#89. send somebody flowers - i sent flame a bouquet of white, yellow and orange lillies for her birthday and she was so pleased with them :)
#8. learn how to make smoothies ... and:
#25. make photo albums of all the Poppy photos - both these i have done (or will do) today to stop me fretting and getting restless - the smoothies i made this morning in the smoothie maker i got as a present, using some of the fruits from our garden - some were recipes in the book and then once i got the hang of it i started making up my own recipes and they all turned out really yummy :) And this afternoon i am spending some time sticking in all the Poppy photos in order in her albums :)

Which brings me to 19 things ticked off, and another 13 being worked on all the time, so i don't think i'm doing bad so far.

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Humiliation

This is a new area of training for me, and something that Sir wants me to try out online and then with Ma'am before He takes it further with me. In a way i think it would be easier for me to do it with Sir first rather than Ma'am, but i have to go along with what Sir thinks and actually the humiliation training i have done so far with Ma'am has really helped to deepen my trust in Her so maybe this is the right way round to do it after all.

Anyway, i wanted to write about some of the humiliation training Ma'am has done with me so far (though i'm going to leave out most of the juicy details i'm afraid because i'm too shy to write them here) - i have learnt 3 humiliation positions ( a 'nappy changing' one, one kneeling forwards with nose on the floor and hands and feet attached to a spreader bar, and one bent over with my wrists tied to my ankles) and had different gags and clamps and hooks and speculums etc put in. Ma'am always takes photos during humiliation sessions which i never get to see, so that really adds to the feelings, especially because i don't know how bad i look in them or even what She does with them afterwards. And this last weekend just gone She brought a Domme friend of Hers along with Her subbie boy. i was sooooo nervous about doing the training in front of them, but it went ok and i soon forgot they were there to be honest because they kept very quiet and just watched from the corner, and the most surprising thing about it all was how submissive and accepting i became really quickly of whatever Ma'am wanted to do with me and i started just going along with it instead of worrying about what She was going to do next or how it was making me look.

And the other surprising thing was that it made me cum - i'm not sure that was Ma'am's intention because She's told me before that these sessions are not about my pleasure, but She had wound some really thin thread-type stuff round my nipples so they felt like they were going to explode and she had put a huge butt plug in and i had a gag and a nose hook in with my arms tied above my head, and after some flogging of my bottom She suddenly pulled the thread off my nipples and it made me cum straight away, there was nothing i could have done to stop it and then She pulled the other one off and it made me cum again whilst i was already cumming so that my legs got very wobbly and i floated away to the special libby place.
i was worried that Ma'am would be cross with me for cumming because i hadn't exactly asked permission or anything, but She was pleased with me and said i'd done really well that session and She knew i couldn't have helped it. And Sir was really pleased when He heard about the session too - He said that i'm 'getting the right headspace' now, whatever that means.

So apparently i have a couple more sessions with Ma'am before Sir takes over the humiliation training and She moves onto other things....... i'll have to wait and see how that all goes, but for now i'm happy with myself.

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i am old!

So, as i mentioned previously, i had my 30th birthday while we were away on honeymoon, and it makes me feel really old to have turned 30. i know loads of people are going to tell me that 30 isn't old at all, but for some reason it seems like i can't possibly be 30 - that's an age that other people reach but not me, and i should stay in my 20's forever.....

Anyway, i had a lovely birthday because Sir organised some spa treatments for me on the ship (a massage and a mud wrap treatment) and we had a delicious meal in the posh Marco Pierre White restaurant in the evening before going to the casino (Poppy was in the night nursery by then) and Sir gave me some money to spend, and i had a great time betting it on the roulette wheel and playing blackjack. Oh, and i got some lovely presents too - including a rose named after me, from Poppy, and a beautiful Tiffany bracelet from Sir.

So happy birthday me, and welcome to the world of the old people!

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The honeymoon

So now to bring everyone up to date with what our honeymoon was like. For those who haven't heard already, we went on a 16 night cruise of the Mediterranean with Poppy as well, stopping at Almeria (Spain), Dubrovnik (Croatia), Venice (Italy), Split (Croatia), Corfu (Greece), Zakinthos (Greece) and Gibraltar. We also had quite a few days at sea just enjoying the facilities on the ship. It was such a fantastic ship, with 19 decks and full of beautiful rooms with so much to do - an art gallery, a jazz lounge, a casino, shops, sports facilities, a theatre, a spa, a salon, a gym, 5 pools, a circus workshop, bungee trampolines, kiddies areas, bars, restaurants and coffee shops.

At first Poppy didn't seem very sure of the ship and was clingy and quiet for the first day and night, but after that she relaxed and really started to enjoy herself, especially when i took her to the kiddies rooms and into the swimming pool! She learnt to sign and say 'boat' and when we went on the shore excursions she would keep asking for it to check we were going back there! And they had a really great nursery facility where we could settle her down for the night with staff to watch over her whilst me and Sir enjoyed our evenings together, then went and collected her later. She never even woke up when we carried her through to our cabin, so this worked out great for all of us.

All of the places we stopped at were so different and diverse, but all with lots of things to see and do. We'd pre-booked excursions and activities at most of them, some with Poppy in mind and some more suited to me and Sir, but all three of us ended up enjoying all of them because they were so well organised. So we did lots and lots during our honeymoon, including visiting the Doges Palace, St Mark's cathedral and the Bridge of Sighs in Venice and going on an evening gondala ride, going to a national park and seeing the waterfalls there, taking a boat ride down the river, going on a caving trip and visiting a shipwreck cove, spending time on the beach with a BBQ lunch, swimming in the sea and in a water park, going to a mini hollywood theme park, taking a walking tour of Dubrovnik and seeing the monastery and cathedral, visiting some pretty gardens and taking a cable car ride, plus lots of shopping and stopping for coffee in cute little cafes all over the place!

When on board the ship we kept ourselves busy by swimming, sunbathing, getting spa treatments, watching shows, listening to live music concerts, eating in the many gorgeous restaurants and cafes, shopping, drinking in the bars, playing in the kiddies areas, spending time alone in our cabin - which was a lovely cabin with a balcony, a king-size bed, flat screen TV and a separate area for Poppy's cot. me and Sir got quite a lot of time to ourselves and we made the most of it!

i also celebrated my 30th birthday on our honeymoon, and Sir had made a special effort to make it a memorable birthday for me - but i'll write a separate post about that. Not allowed to post any photos from the honeymoon, not even scenery, but we truly did have a wonderful time and came back so happy and relaxed. And Poppy kept asking for 'boat?' for days afterwards so she must have really enjoyed herself too!

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More wedding stuff....

More details of our big day, as promised:

Order of service
~ introductory music by string quartet
~ entrance of the bride
~ introduction by the registrar
~ reading by father of the bride: 'Marriage joins two people'
~ song with violin accompaniment: 'From this moment'
~ marriage declarations and contracting words
~ exchange of the rings and declaration of vows
~ blessing by the registrar: 'Now you will feel no rain'
~ reading by brother of the groom: 'The Velveteen Rabbit'
~ signing of the register
~ exit of the bride and groom

Music
prelude -
1st movement from Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (Mozart)
minuet (Boccherini)
morning from Peer Gynt Suite (Grieg)
hornpipe from the Water Music (Handel)
flower duet (Delibes)
canon in D (Pachelbel)

processional -
wedding march from Lohengrin (Wagner)

signing of the register -
air on the G string (Bach)

recessional -
wedding march from a Midsummer Night's Dream (Mendelssohn)

Readings
Marriage is a commitment to life, the best that two people can find and bring out in each other.
It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal.
It is a physical and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.
Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships.
A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and critic.
And there may be times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent or child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.
Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher, commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid.
It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now you will feel no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.

Sir's vows
From this day forward I will love you, nurture you, teach you, honour you, cherish you and take care of you with all that I am. I acknowledge the trust you have placed in me and the responsibility that goes with my acceptance of that trust. I accept responsibility for your physical and emotional well-being, and I promise to protect and care for you, to be consistent and to love you with all my heart. I promise to you that I will at all times honour your feelings and needs. I will always provide for you as well as keep you safe, happy and free from harm. I promise to hold you and protect you, to stretch you and give you flight, to take responsibility for your growth. This ring is a visible symbol of our commitment and by its wearing you are safe to be everything that you are and can be. It is an expression of my desire for you, a reminder that I honour and respect you and a commitment to meet my responsibilities of being your partner in life. I will endeavour to be open-minded enough to learn new things and strong enough to grow. In times of trouble to be a supportive friend and partner. Through the best and the worst, the difficult and the easy, whatever may come I will always be there.

libby's vows
i promise to give you the best of myself, to take pride in our relationship.
i will look to you for guidance as you push me to be the best that i can be.
i promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change.
i will be committed to self-growth and the growth of our relationship.
i promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see my innermost fears, secrets and dreams.
i will be honest and will communicate my needs and feelings, as well as listening to yours.

Here today, i offer myself to you, giving myself wholly to you this hour.
i give myself as i am and as i will be.
As i stand here before you, i offer all of me, body, mind and soul.
i give you all that i have - myself, my love and my total commitment.
Just as i have given you my hand to hold, so i give you my life to keep.
With deepest joy i come into my new life with you.

Menu
starters:
fan of melon with seasonal fruits and coulis
baked avocado and stilton in filo pastry with cucumber relish
thai crabcakes with sweet lime dip
terrine of chicken liver pate with sesame crackers and melba toast

mains:
Mediterranean mixed vegetable parcel with a tomato and basil sauce
pan-fried fillets of rainbow trout with smoked bacon and toasted pinenuts
loin of lamb with dauphinoise potatoes and redcurrant jus
roast turkey with traditional trimmings and cranberry tartlet

desserts:
brandy snap basket with poached pears served with ice cream
chocolate truffle torte with raspberry coulis
champagne and strawberry roulade
tropical fruit salad with malibu and banana cream

cheese and biscuits

coffee 

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Our wedding day

Hi everyone, we just got back from our honeymoon and i'm feeling very fidgety so Sir sent me to catch up with everything on my laptop. i've got loads of emails and blog posts to read through, but first i wanted to tell everyone about our wedding day and honeymoon in more detail, so feel free to skip the next couple of posts if things like that bore you!

The night before the wedding i was really nervous and i found it hard to sleep, but by the morning most of the nerves had gone and i was just very excited instead. i didn't know how i'd be able to wait until 4pm when the ceremony was due to begin, but then people started arriving (my mum and my bridesmaids for breakfast first of all) and from then on there was one thing after another - shower, hairdresser, make-up, getting dressed, getting Poppy ready, flowers, etc, etc. and before i knew it it was time for the bridesmaids to go in the first car and for me to wait for the second car to take me to the venue! Sir had gone to a hotel with his best man earlier in the day, so i wouldn't see Him until i walked down the aisle, but Poppy stayed with me the whole time and travelled in my car to the ceremony, then was looked after by my sister (who was also a bridesmaid).

It took about 20 minutes to drive there, in a gorgeous old car, but i was mainly trying to keep Poppy calm and happy, and then we were there! Everything after that is a bit jumbly in my head, but i remember walking down the aisle, hearing the string quartet playing the music we'd picked out, with my bridesmaids and flower girls and pageboys walking behind me, hearing Poppy calling 'mama' as she toddled down the aisle after me and i just had to turn back and smile at her because she was so sweet, seeing Sir waiting for me at the front with a big proud grin on His face and then the ceremony properly began. i'll post the order of service and our vows and readings in separate posts because they'll take up too much room here, but everything went smoothly and i listened really carefully to everything that was said because i truly meant it all - every word of my vows and all the readings we had carefully picked out, even every word of the song which my friend sang just before we said our vows. Then suddenly it was time to kiss and sign the register, which seemed to go really quickly, and then we were walking back down the aisle together, Sir carrying Poppy, and everyone was clapping and following us outside where we did the butterfly release. i'm sooooo glad we chose to do that because it was absolutely beautiful and so symbolic of my 'release' of control as a submissive to my Master and now husband. Everyone was amazed by the butterflies and that's the main thing all the guests have commented on since, along with my dress and the cake :)

Then we had the official photographs done in the garden, under the trees, and it was a beautiful sunny day just like i'd hoped. We had drinks and canapes available for the guests as they were waiting for the photos to be finished and lots of them took the time before dinner to go off and explore the pretty gardens, as did me and Sir for a little while once the photographer was done. i have to mention how fantastic our photographer was because he was so unobtrusive and let us just get on with things without constantly asking us to pose all the time (except for a few official photos after the ceremony) but yet he managed to perfectly capture so many elements of the big day, and the sample photos we saw on the laptop show he left us looked fantastic, so i can't wait to see the full selection we can choose from.

Then we were all called inside for the speeches and the toasts and all that, and then it was time for dinner, and what a dinner it was! i'll post the menu elsewhere, and to be honest i can't actually remember much of what i ate because i was so full of happiness and joy sitting next to my husband, and also i was trying to make sure Poppy ate, and kept checking that everyone had everything they needed including the vegetarian guests and those with dietary requirements as well as those other mothers with young babies and toddlers (in total we had 2 one-year olds, 3 two-year olds, 1 three-year old, 2 four-year olds, 2 five-year olds, 1 six-year old, 2 seven-year olds and 1 eight-year old there plus 45 other guests). But i do remember enjoying the meal and everyone said afterwards how nice it had been, so that was good. Oh, and there was more music from the string quartet while we ate, which was really nice and made a lovely mellow atmosphere. After dinner there was a singer in the main hall, with dancing and drinks and a chocolate fountain brimming with goodies to dip in, and a bouncy castle and ball pool in the garden for the kiddies. There was such a lovely atmosphere, with everyone really enjoying themselves, and i managed to get round all of my guests and chat to them all for a while, and i joined in the dancing and gorged on the chocolate fountain and played with Poppy until she got tired near the end so i took her off for a little nap. As dark gradually fell the lanterns and tea-lights were lit in the garden and placed on tables and hung from the trees and it all looked so pretty it made me cry a little bit. And soon it was time for us to go to our wedding -night hotel in a little village nearby, and Sir drove us there with flares all the way down the driveway from the wedding venue, and it was so nice that i was sad to go.

Poppy was an exhausted little girl and didn't wake up in the car or when we put her to bed in the hotel, but me and Sir stayed up talking for a while, and then we had a very special wedding night together in our four-poster bed :) So there it is, our dream wedding, and it truly was a dream - no major hitches and everything went just like i hoped it would. Thank-you to everyone for their kind wishes and comments, and thanks to flame and everyone on P&H for putting up with my wedding talk all this time!
libby
xxxx

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