i asked for readers to leave questions at the end of my last post and 3 of you did, which i'm really pleased about, so i'm going to answer those questions here:
~ what limits would you like to get rid of?
the children and animals ones i never want to get rid of because those are just WRONG to me, and to Sir as well because He has already told me He would never touch those. i'm also very very wary of trying to work on the breathplay one because it scares me so much and also it can be very dangerous, and the scat one i just don't want to work on because it is so disgusting. The face-slapping and spitting ones i also very much doubt i can get rid of because of incidents in the past which bring back very bad feelings and memories for me. So that really leaves the blood one, the needles one, the extreme pain one, and the single-tail whips one - all of which frighten me to think about, but all of which i think i could work on with Sir's help and at least lessen as limits even if i can't entirely get rid of them. The one limit i most want to get rid of is the single-tail whips one, because i know how much Sir enjoys playing in this way, and it just seems such a nonsensical limit to have as i don't even know why it causes me to have such a bad reaction. So i really hope Sir can help me work through this limit at least.
~ how does the dynamic work with a baby in the house?
with adaptations! But having said that, we are very lucky that Poppy is such a contented little girl and basically got herself into a routine soon after being born, so that we could fit our lifestyle round her. Sir made amendments to the rules so that our dynamic is played out in more subtle ways when she is around, so for example i no longer kneel next to Sir's chair or ask permission to start eating a meal, i wait for a little nod from Sir to start eating, things like that. And i call Him 'Daddy' in front of Poppy and Sir in private. And i wear my necklace 'collar' round the house rather than my more traditional one. But really all those changes are fairly minor, and the basic dynamic is very much there still. i am still expected to 'ask' permission to do things when Poppy is around but it's done in a more roundabout way, eg: "i'm just going to the kitchen to start dinner, would you like anything?" rather than "Sir, please may i have permission to go to the kitchen to start dinner?".
~ how comes you like orgasm control but only tolerate orgasm denial?
i think this comes from my interpretation of those terms - Sir never puts me on orgasm denial for a long period of time, like telling me i can't cum for the next 3 months, which is what i was saying i would only be able to 'tolerate' in my BDSM checklist. Orgasm control is more like what Sir practices because i am only allowed to cum when He gives me permission, i am no longer allowed to even ask to cum but i must wait until told to, and sometimes Sir will not grant me release and i have to go needy (but never for very long!) - that's the type that i like :)
~ how do you figure the line betwen extreme pain and normal pain, and can He tell the difference?
i think that's a very tricky question because i wouldn't be able to describe the difference, or even give a list of activities that are OK pain and those that are too much. Some of it depends on me anyway because what i can tolerate one day i wouldn't be able to withstand the next, and some of it depends on how hard Sir is spanking/flogging/ whatever in that particular scene. But i know that Sir can read me very well, and He knows how hard He can push me so i tend to just go with it and leave it to His judgement. Of course in the middle of a scene i often get to the point where i think 'no more, i can't take anymore, please stop' but Sir carries on, and later i realise He was right to because i could take more even when i thought i couldn't. i have never safeworded because the pain has been too much, so i think that shows that Sir has got the balance right.
~ are you punished very often and what is a punishment like?
no, very rarely do i get punished and it has been a long long time since the last one (it has been almost 2 years since the last one, which is amazing!). i think the reason for that is that i absolutely hate punishments and will try very hard to avoid them, and also that Sir tends to give me warnings and discipline first if He can before it reaches a punishment situation, and also that i know my rules better now and tend to automatically follow them so the chance of me straying so far outside them that a punishment is needed is quite slim nowadays. Examples of punishments i have received in the past are having my bottom snapped repeatedly with an elastic band, having my titties caned, being used as a washing line, being dressed up as a cat (but you would have to know the details of the infractions to understand how these punishments all fitted the crime).
~ do you two have scenes planned in advance or just when the mood strikes?
now that we have Poppy we have to plan our 'play' time carefully (for example, Sunday mornings when she is at my sister's, or sometimes of an evening if someone else is looking after her, and very occasionally when she has gone to bed, but those tend to be less intense scenes). So yes we have cut down on the amount of scening we do since having Poppy, but Sir makes sure that the play time we do get is used to the maximum.
~ how were your rules created?
Sir has created all 3 versions of my rules, using some He adapted from lists online and some He devised to be personal to my needs. i have no say in what my rules are, but have to follow them absolutely, though i guess if i had a really big problem with a rule i could ask to discuss it with Him. Sir knows me so well though that He tailors the rules to fit my needs as well as His, so there has never really been an issue with them (even the ones i don't like so much!)
Thanks for all the questions, please feel free to ask more!
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