February 19, 2010
Final thoughts on 'no matter what'
Yeah i thought i was done with this topic too, but then Bunny wrote a very interesting piece on the subject in which she mentioned me and Sir and asked a further question to those i had already talked about. So i've been pondering what i would do in the situation she brought up, and here's my answer:
First for the situation! What would i do if Sir had a complete personality change and was no longer Dominant? Would i stick to the 'no matter what' clause then? my initial thought was to say 'yes of course i would!' because some of the scenarios i had already envisioned entail Sir no longer willing/able to be my Master in the way He is now. If i still loved Sir and He still loved me we would want to be together even if the D/s side no longer existed. But then i thought about it some more and realised that the Dominance is part of Sir, part of His make-up, His personality, who He is, so that if it was a case of that leaving Him rather than Him still having that characteristic but not being able to express it in the ways He does now (due to illness or whatever) then i think He would then become a different person. It's difficult for me to know whether i would love Sir and be drawn to Him if He wasn't Dominant because i think it's such a fundamental part of what makes Him Him. i know that probably makes me sound awfully shallow, but it's the truth. Of course i would try to stay with Him, to make it work, to carry out the 'no matter what' clause, but what if He no longer loved/wanted me? If His Dominant side left entirely surely He wouldn't be attracted to a submissive anymore?
It's a tricky situation to imagine, but i guess the best answer i can give is that i would try my hardest to stand by Sir no matter what, and i hope that He would do the same in return. But there are no guarantees in life and i think there probably would be some situations which we just couldn't resolve, no matter how hard we tried :( Hopefully it never comes down to that.
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4 comments:
Interesting topic. With Jake and i, D/s was not always a part of the equation. He was not submissive to me before, but i was in charge of a lot of things. This journey has revealed to us both just how much stress and anxiety that created in me (and Him). With that realization, and having experienced the freedom of being submissive (or learning to be anyway), i don't know how well i would handle going back to that.
7:28 PMi know that i would still love Him, just as i loved Him all those years. In all honesty, i must say that there would be potential for me to resent being thrown back into that 'i'm in control' mode that caused me so much anxiety.
I suspect in such a situation there could be so many unknowns that to try to second guess in advance is tricky at the least. Makes for a good discussion tho.
11:31 PMDinora3228
that's very true Dinora, but i wanted to at least think about it :)
10:27 AMAnd i imagine it must be different for people like you daisy whose relationship started off vanilla and then developed into D/s, though i'm not sure if that would make it easier or more difficult to go back to the vanilla. Probably easier, but then if the personality change had happened like in the situation i was imagining it would still be like being with a different person....
I'm really honoured that one of my posts was useful to you Libby! I love your blog. I suspect that Dinora is right. And re what DomesticDaisy said, I think I could handle going back to how I was pre-D/s, but if dominance is such a big part of him inherently, and he became submissive, it would be like being with a different person...
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