formspring.me #30

April 25, 2010

formspring.me #30

Does your Master ever have sex with you when you are on your period? How does this make you feel and any tips on reducing the mess it can cause? Someone else asked: "What do you and your Sir do when you have your period? Do you find other ways to play?"

Although this seems like such an innocent, easy question, for me it's not. This is something i haven't really written about before here on this blog, but i'm going to now so bear with me as i try to get it all out.

i'm not exactly squicky about my period, but it used to be that i didn't particularly want to have sex while i was on, partly because of the mess, partly because of the cramps, partly because i tend to feel sore and not at my most beautiful or desirable or horny at that time. And for the most part Sir respected those feelings and didn't use my pussy when i had my period - instead He would get me to pleasure Him with my mouth or hands, or we would have anal sex, or do something else.

Then one morning we were in bed and Sir started to instigate sex with me, so i reminded Him i was on my period, and His response was basically that He knew, and He knew i didn't particularly like sex at that time but He wanted it and He was going to take it. Now in a vanilla relationship that would have probably made the woman indignant and pissy, but i found it really hot that my Master was over-riding my wishes to meet His own, so i completely submitted to His will and the deed was done.

(This is where it starts to get a bit more detailed, so you might not want to read on...)
After, when He pulled out and told me to get a cloth to clean us up, i noticed quite a few clotty bits in the mess, but wasn't sure whether that was a result of what we had just done. (Btw, for the person who asked how to reduce the mess it can cause, Sir put down lots of towels to cover the area and then i just bunged them straight in the wash after). But when the clottiness continued for the rest of the day and i started to get bad cramps as well, Sir took me to the doctor and it turned out i was having a miscarriage.

We didn't even know i was pregnant at the time because i was on the pill and everything. There had been a few early signs, like me feeling down and tearful for no reason, my breasts getting tender and aching, but i hadn't realised what they all signalled. And then we found out we had lost our baby (at about 4-5 weeks) before we even knew he was there. It took me quite a while to get over this, and i was filled with guilt about what Sir and i had done whilst our baby was dying. i even considered whether what we had done had caused the miscarriage, but was told that it would have happened anyway and that likely he wasn't viable as a baby. i never really came to terms with my feelings about the whole thing before i fell pregnant again with Poppy, so after she was born i developed post-natal depression as a result and had to work through my issues with a counsellor.

i'm past all that now, but i still associate the act of sex during my period with Joshua dying, so it's now a hard limit for me. Which Sir totally understands, and He has said He will never push that limit in any way. So we have gone back to other types of play during my period, though of course at the moment it's not an issue anyway.

Hope that wasn't tmi for anyone, but the reason i wanted to post it is that i am currently worried about my 'tadpoles' - the twin boys i am pregnant with - as the last scan showed there might be something wrong with William's heart, but we have to wait till the next scan in 4 weeks' time to find out more. So Joshua and William are on my mind a lot at the moment, and i'm just hoping everything turns out fine this time. Sorry for such a sad post, but it's how things are right now, and it's actually done me some good to share it here.

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