Happy Anniversary!

July 26, 2010

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was mine and Sir's first wedding anniversary! This year has gone by so fast, it only seems a couple of weeks ago that i was planning and preparing for the wedding and i can still picture it perfectly, it was a wonderful day. A lot has happened since then though, most importantly me getting pregnant again with twins this time! And Poppy has grown up a lot in that time too. i'm not going to write here what we gave each other as gifts, or how we celebrated our day, but i do want to take this opportunity to comment on what it's like to be in a married M/s relationship and how it's different to before we were married.

In some ways to people on the outside, it would seem that not much has changed since i got married to Sir, as we were already living together beforehand, we already had our little girl Poppy, and we had already well established the dynamic between us. But to me, on the inside of our relationship, i think that marriage has changed things and for the better. It's going to be hard to explain, but i'll do my best. One of the main ways in which marriage has changed things within our M/s relationship is that it's made it more 'legitimate' and understandable to the outside world, to society in general, to our vanilla friends and family, basically to anyone i might happen to meet. People know what marriage is, what it means and are able to label us in a certain way and fit us into a certain box when they find out we are married to each other. It saves us from having to explain our relationship so much, even though people are much more accepting of boyfriend/girlfriend living together and having a child together than they used to be. And also, in a way, it's made it easier to carry out our dynamic in front of other people (obviously still in subtle ways though) because they accept that this is the way some husbands and wives interact.

In my mind it has added another element to our dynamic as well, because i feel that by marrying Sir i have 'given' myself to Him again, i am His alone and have made a public declaration of that, i belong to Him and nobody else can have me, legally as well as in practice. And the fact that i wear His wedding ring as well as His collar shows vanilla as well as BDSM people that i am taken, off limits, and i hope it makes Sir proud that He is the one who has me. That prolly sounds a bit weird, but the next part will likely sound even stranger. Being married to Sir as well as collared to Him has altered my slave mindset, added another dimension to it, and i love thinking of myself as Sir's little wifey, doing the housework, keeping the house nice and clean for him, doing His laundry, ironing His shirts, cooking His dinners, baking nice things for Him, looking after our children, etc. i know that in reality not all of those things have been able to happen since i got pregnant again, but the idea is there and hopefully i will be able to return to doing lots of those things again once i am at home looking after the twins while Sir goes out to work. i guess that what i'm trying to say is that becoming Sir's wife has given me new ways in which to 'serve' Him and feel that those things are things i should be doing because of my new role. Of course i'm talking about a rather old-fashioned view of what a wife should do, and many people would be offended by my views, but i'm not saying that they should apply to everyone, just that i want to apply them to me.

Did that even make sense to anyone except me? my preggie brain has no clue of what is logical anymore.