August 28, 2010
Feminism and BDSM?
http://www.submissiveguide.com/2010/06/theories-of-feminism-and-submission/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SubmissiveGuide+%28Submissive+Guide%29
Many people would say that there's no place for feminism within BDSM, especially in traditional Male Dominant- female submissive or even slave relationships. But i dispute that. If you look at what feminism actually means: "the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes" there's no reason why it can't take place within D/s or even M/s relationships. If i believe that women and men in general are equal (not the same, but of equal importance), which i do, and if i believe this means they should have equal opportunities and rights and freedoms etc, which i do, then surely it means that women should be able to choose to become a collared slave, give over all control of their life, and submit to a man if they wish to? Just as a man should also be able to do so. If someone thinks that i shouldn't be allowed to choose this option, then they'd be denying me the very rights, opportunities and freedoms to live my life the way i choose that feminists advocate should be mine in the first place. Feminism isn't limited to 'women should have the same rights as men, but only to make the following decisions.......', because then they would be restricting women but not restricting men and thus they wouldn't be equal. i hope that makes sense.
The other point i want to make is that even though i have chosen this lifestyle for myself, and in doing so i have voluntarily given up many of my rights, opportunities and freedoms in order to feel fulfilled and be the person i need to be, that doesn't mean that i think all women should do the same. i definitely don't and infact i am good friends with many Dommes and some male slaves, who surely demonstrate a good example of how this lifestyle does make women equal to men because we have both genders represented in both roles. So it is possible for me to be a female slave and still a feminist, because i use my equal rights as a woman to choose the options most suited to me, which just happens to be giving away my freedom and control, whilst at the same time advocating that women in general in society should be treated equally to men and have the same opportunities given to them and not restricted or limited in anyway due to the gender. Having said that i do also recognise that men and women are by their very nature different to each other and tend to have different innate strengths and weaknesses, so equal does not mean the same, and women shouldn't try to be exactly the same as men but should celebrate their talents and choose the options which best fit them.
OK, that's my thoughts on the subject. Comments are welcome.
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9 comments:
I totally agree with you on this. Especially about equality not meaning sameness, but rather equal in value and freedoms and rights. Great post!
6:36 PMAlice
Very astute Libby. It is about a woman's access to her destiny and what she wishes that is essential in terms of equality. Any person, man or woman that tries to "tell" you what you should be is by their own action showing a hand of oppression. I mention this in my own postings. http://winduponwhichtheladydances.blogspot.com/p/about-my-sub.html
10:25 PMI totally agree that feminism should celebrate the choices that women make, but be aware that there are many different branches of feminism, so not all would agree. For example, radical feminists would say that you only THINK you've made the free choice to act as a slave; really men have brainwashed you into that choice. Liberal feminists would agree with you though.
3:18 PMI think you can probably guess from my other posts that I don't agree that men and women are innately different beyond biology. I think that the idea of men and women having different qualities is much exaggerated - and that the differences that make up gender are cultural, not biological.
That said, I definitely agree with your overall conclusion. I'm also very happy (and surprised) that you're managing to blog so much even with two newborns!
very interesting, i didn't even know there were different types of feminism. And i'm able to come and blog so much even with 2 new twins because it helps me feel less trapped and cut off from the world in general.
4:12 PMWell said, libby. I absolutely agree it is about freedom of choice. I struggled with this so badly when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, because there are still 'feminists' who say you shouldn't give away your power. After thinking about it, though, I decided that I didn't buy their argument at all - it's regressive.
9:00 PMI think that the more subs and slaves putting forward their intelligent arguments to counter this, the better.
Jx
Dear Libby
10:14 PMI found your blog from a link on Peacefully Submissive.
I think this post was very well put (although I thought your last sentence was a bit of a fudge). I particularly like Where you dismiss feminists who say
'women should have the same rights as men, but only to make the following decisions.......'
That is so true of so many things, where the political great and good have decided what is best for the rest of us.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
PL
Libby I totally totally agree with your thoughts on feminism. It's the choice that counts. Not a lot of people that I have met have this opinion.
6:13 AMIt took me FOREVER to realise that while a strong woman and a decisive professional that I am at heart a sub and NEED that dom's discipline to feel fully alive and excited and FULFILLED. Feminism means getting what you need and want to have: to have the freedom to be who you are. I love my punisher and his leather belt. He's wonderful.
6:19 AMI thought this was very thoughtful and insightful.
6:39 AMA view I've been waiting to hear others express. Not just about BDSM, but about the way we choose to live our lives in general.
Way to go! :Fistbump:
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