September 26, 2010
formspring.me #55
I've never been abused by either parents or boy-friends. Most D/s blogs I've seen show at least one have them have been abused. Is it true? Can a person who is not abused, in anyway, feel submissive?
The question of abuse related to being a submissive is a contentious one, with many people claiming there is no link. But i too have noticed just how many of the sub/slave bloggers out there have suffered abuse in the past, and i truly do think that there is some kind of link between the two. (Just for the record, i think that having a submissive personality makes someone more vulnerable to abuse especially when they are younger and don't understand this aspect of themselves yet. And i also think that being abused can 'wake up' dormant submissive tendencies in a person that might otherwise have lain undiscovered.)
But i myself have never been abused and i don't think it is necessary to have been abused in order to be or feel submissive. i think that submissiveness is a natural personality trait and that people like you and i can discover it inside us through other means than abuse. And as far as i can tell neither type of submissive is 'better' than the other, so i don't really see that it matters how you discover this aspect of yourself, what's more important is how you choose to act upon and develop it.
But i myself have never been abused and i don't think it is necessary to have been abused in order to be or feel submissive. i think that submissiveness is a natural personality trait and that people like you and i can discover it inside us through other means than abuse. And as far as i can tell neither type of submissive is 'better' than the other, so i don't really see that it matters how you discover this aspect of yourself, what's more important is how you choose to act upon and develop it.
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2 comments:
A very insightful answer! I, too, have noticed that many submissives and slaves have a history of abuse... Many, but not necessarily all. And I would tend to agree that a submissive personality may make somebody more vulnerable to abuse.
12:37 PMLike you, I do not have a history of abuse.
And in a D/s relationship, perhaps a sub who does have a history of abuse finds comfort and healing in the trust put into their Dom.
I completely agree with libby. I think it's a bit circular - a submissive personality may make one prone to abuse and bullying, as the other way around. Unfortunately it's not PC for the vanilla world to talk about submission to any large extent.
8:37 AMI believe for the world to understand the abuse/abuser dynamic it has to accept, research and understand the dominant/submissive dynamic.
For the record I'm submissive in a vanilla relationship who's never been abused.
Blessings
Dinora3228
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