November 27, 2010
Twins
i know that identical twins have an extra special connection and lots of them say they can feel each others' emotions and know what each other is thinking and finish each others' sentences and even have sympathy pains if the other is hurt in anyway. William and Finn are fraternal twins, so i don't expect them to have this kind of connection, but even at the age of 3 months it is becoming clear that they do share a bond beyond that normally shared by siblings. When you think about it it makes sense that they should because they have been together since conception, since their little eggs were fertilised and implanted themselves in the womb and started to grow and develop, they have always been in each others' presence, they have experienced the same things, they are used to having each other around. i think that's a lovely thing, to have never been on your own even in the womb, and i hope that it will benefit both my boys as they get older.
Right from the beginning Finn has shown awareness of William, by reaching out and holding onto him as they slept in their cot together or by turning towards him or looking at him or stilling to listen to him cry. And he always wakes up and cries when William has a seizure, even if he was fast asleep before, so i know there is a deep connection between them. Actually it has been really useful having Finn because i am sure we would have missed some of William's seizures, especially at night, if it wasn't for him, as the really bad ones tend to be silent because William can't breathe properly through them so he can't make a distressed noise. And it helps us to sleep better, knowing that Finn is always on the alert for problems with his brother.
So far there are no signs of the boys developing that special 'twin' language that many people talk about, but i'm not sure that would happen anyway due to William's condition, as he is yet to make many noises beyond crying and screaming when upset, though he has made the very occasional happy coo. Finn seems to be developing 'speech' in the usual way so far, and now makes vowel-consonant noises (a-ga, a-da, a-goo, and even something that sounds like a-choo!), but though he is often found making these noises to William, especially when they are alone together, because William does not respond, i think it unlikely that Finn will go on to develop a separate language of sounds that only he and William can understand. Which is sad in a way, but probably better for his language development in the long run.
i feel it is especially important for William to have a twin brother, because he will always have someone looking out for him, and he will always have that role-model to hopefully copy and imitate and try to emulate. He will have constant reinforcement of age-appropriate and developmentally-normal behaviours and abilities, which will hopefully encourage him to try to develop the same, even if at a slower pace. i have been very careful so far to treat each boy as an individual, to not hold Finn back because William can't do the things that he does, or not resent the fact that William is behind Finn in all of his development. i am also being careful to not give all my time and attention either to William because of his medical and other difficulties, or to Finn because he is the baby i 'expected' to have. And so far i have been able to cherish each baby for their individuality and their own achievements, whilst trying to meet their ever-changing daily needs. i just can't help feeling that without Finn, caring for William would be even more difficult, and i am so grateful for both my gorgeous baby boys and the joy they bring to our family.
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6 comments:
So lovely to hear about your beautiful boys. I was wondering how things were going since we hadn't heard from you for a bit.
11:01 PMBlessings
Dinora3228
sometimes i don't want to post too much about Poppy and the boys here because i think people will get bored, but for those who are interested:
10:44 AMFinn is making great progress and is babbling and cooing away, he will even have short babble conversations with us by pausing to let us fill in a gap then replying! He has great head control now and loves tummy time, where he is improving everyday in his ability to push up with his arms and reach out and grab things. He can now roll himself over from his front to his back, reaches out for things, holds and releases objects and is kicking with much better control than before. He loves looking at himself in a mirror, is very attracted to faces and animal pictures and is very into cause and effect toys at the moment, giggling happily everytime he makes something happen! Finn is a very easy-going little man, who will happily wait his turn to be seen to if William is having a bad day, rarely gets cranky, has the most gorgeous little laugh and really watches out for his brother.
William has made slower progress but he too is doing well in his own way; he is starting to focus on and look at objects briefly now, especially black and white ones, and he will hold something when it is placed into his hand (though his natural posture is to have his hands clenched so we have to open up his fingers first). William loves songs and music and seems to recognise those he heard while still in the womb, he also loves massage and being in water - his favourite time is bathtime! He will sometimes make a happy cooing sound which is so great to hear as that is his only vocalisation so far, but William is very good at letting us know when he is cranky or unhappy! William is a very cuddly, snuggly baby but only with people he knows and he has the sweetest smile ever! He is much more tolerant of his daily physio sessions now, though he still hates being on his tummy and protests loudly - we are working on getting him to move his arms and legs purposefully, reach out for objects, develop his head control and start to interact with his environment - so far progress is slow in these sessions but the physio is hopeful that they will start to benefit William soon, and we are just so grateful to have him in a free intervention programme at such a young age! William's seizures are still not under control very well, though it is hard to know how much worse they would be without the meds (phenobarbitol) - he has big seizures where he gets very stiff and finds it hard to breathe, others where his arms come up and his eyes roll back for a second, others where his arms or legs will twitch repeatedly, and new ones recently upon waking where he will bring his arms out and kind of fold inwards, relax, then repeat lots of times. We are still waiting for further tests to find out exactly what kinds of seizures he is having and the best types of meds to control each type, but we are hopeful that the doctors can help him.
Hope i didn't bore anyone too much!!
Many thanks for the massage advice libby, i can't wait to see my grandbabies in December and use the techniques.
1:12 PMYour stories of your babies are not boring - this is as much a part of your life as being a slave.
Never never bored ...
1:14 AMAs Sadist's magick says, it's all "a part of your life". We are honored to read any parts of it you are happy to share :)
yayyy, thank you!
7:02 AMI love reading about your children....it is so good to hear about people being happy, being contented, hearing good news. Sometimes we focus on all the bad news be hear and forget there is so much good in the world, and so many kind, generous people around us everyday.
11:40 AMI guess the whole "thanksgiving " stuff has rubbed off on me. The twins and Poppy are lucky to have you and your Sir as parents, you sound a formidable team.
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