a submissive's musings: May 2010

formspring.me #37

Hi libby, did you find that once you accepted your natural submissiveness that you grew in confidence? That something kind of "fell into place" for you?

Yes and no. This is kind of a complicated question to answer because i was really unsure of my own submissiveness at first and didn't really recognise it. For quite a while i thought i wanted to be 'kinky' only, i.e. experiment with bondage and stuff in the bedroom. Then when i started researching more deeply on the internet and found out about Doms and subs i realised that my personality makes me a natural and innate sub, but i still wasn't very confident in myself - for instance i was adamant in the beginning that i would enter into a D/s relationship online only, that it would be too much for me in real-life. i understand what you mean about something 'falling into place' but that didn't really apply to me as before then i had been happy in what i considered to be vanilla relationships, i wasn't like others who grow up feeling they are different and one day discover this whole other lifestyle they have been searching for their whole lives.

With hindsight i can see that i have always been drawn to naturally dominant men, even if they weren't full Dominants, but i never really had that 'falling into place' feeling. It was more of an 'opening up' or 'branching out' feeling when i started being trained by Sir and discovered more about myself. And my confidence grew gradually along the way, not once i accepted my natural submissivemess but a long time after that. i guess i still have struggles with confidence now, but nothing like to the extent i used to.

Hope that made sense and thanks for the question. More replies coming soon!

Ask me anything

On Tuesday my little girl Poppy turned 2 years old, and yesterday we held a birthday party at the zoo for her and some of her friends. It seems incredible to me that she is 2 already, but in other ways it is difficult for me to remember what life was like without her, it is as if i have always had my little Poppy in my life. i am so incredibly proud of my little girl, of all the amazing achievements she has made in her short life so far, of all the potential she shows to grow up into a fantastic young lady, of her sweet personality and the sunshine she brings to everyone's lives with her smile and laughter and the way she pronounces words. She is absolutely beautiful and i love her so much and i'm so proud to be her mummy.

Poppy had asked for a shark for her birthday, as her latest obsession is with 'fishies' of all kinds and we had taken her to the sealife centre where she had spent ages inside the tunnel which goes through the shark exhibit, squealing excitedly whenever one swam past. i didn't want to get her a real shark, not even one of those little ones you can keep in a fish tank, so Sir had found a nice toy one for her, and luckily she was thrilled with it (and yes it's called 'sharkie' - her names for things aren't very imaginative yet!). We also got her a mini bouncy castle for the garden and someone very kindly sent us an Amazon voucher so we spent some of it on educational toys for Poppy as she has a huge appetite for learning, and we're saving the rest to get something nice for the twins. Poppy got lots of other presents on her birthday (and more at her party) and happily went into nursery taking a big cake and some party bags for all her friends there. Then in the evening we invited her nanna and grampy, and her other grandma over for a family birthday tea - with chicken dippers, chips and baked beans and icecream with sprinkles for after (all chosen by Poppy!). She went to bed a very happy girl on Tuesday night.

As part of her present, Sir and i have spent the last few weeks decorating the spare bedroom for her, with paints and wallpaper and bedding and furniture she has picked out herself. It's a very cute girly design which should last her for a few years, you can see it here: http://www.next.co.uk/shopping/homeware/childrensbedroom/27/1?extra=sch&n=homeware&pid=429-633&exclude=00Q00%7c00QS00%7c00QS0100&returnurl=%2fshop%2fgattgender%2dgirls%2dgattproductaffiliation%2dbedding%2d0%3fnxti%3d0%26nxtv%3d000%26isort%3dbst&bct=%26quot%3bShop%20By%20Product%26quot%3b%26nbsp%3b%26gt%3b%26nbsp%3bGirls%26nbsp%3b%26gt%3b%26nbsp%3bBedding
On Thursday night we moved her into her new bedroom. i was so nervous, worried that she would get upset and not like it, that she would want to move back into the nursery and resent the fact that it is going to be turned into the boys' bedroom. But it was all fine and she had a happy night's sleep in there and coped fine with her new bed and didn't fall out like i worried she might. So that transition has gone really well :)

Yesterday we had Poppy's main birthday party at the zoo. They do special birthday packages, and all the kiddies and adults got to look round the zoo, then Poppy had a special brithday-girl treat of helping to feed the penguins, which she absolutely loved and wouldn't stop talking about for ages after ("fed fishies to pinpins"), there was a lovely lunch provided in a party room with a Noah's ark cake and then party games organised by two members of staff afterwards, then all the kiddies had a session in Pet's corner to feed and stroke all the cute little furries there, then we took them to the huge play-area they have in the zoo, followed by a trip round on the zoo train and then home. Poppy had an absolutely brilliant time and so did all her friends. Her new favourite animal is now a 'jar' (giraffe) and as part of her party package she was taken into the zoo shop and told she could choose one of the cuddly toys there - you should have seen her face when she spotted a 'jar' and shouted it out to the whole shop as she eagerly tugged it out and handed it to the shop-assistant! So our little girl went to bed very happy again last night, with her new shark and 'jar' tucked in next to her.

Happy birthday sweetheart, thanks for being the adorable little poppet that you are, and i look forward to seeing what the next year brings as you learn to be a big sister to your two new brothers!

Yes i know, a day late and a dollar short as usual, but at least i'm posting something. i've been in a bit of a funk this week and had an anxiety attack on Thursday night because everything just seemed to be overwhelming me - it was Poppy's first night in her new bedroom, my last day at work the next day and we are waiting to get more tests done at a specialist centre on Tuesday to find out the extent of William's problems. So anyway, here's the post that i should have done yesterday:

1. Cheese, crackers and grapes.... - the best food to take on a picnic.

2. Summer.... is going to be long, hot and tiring this year as i wait to give birth to the tadpoles.

3. Because of my swollen feet, one of the only types of shoes i can wear now are.... flip-flops.

4. To love someone is.... to be prepared to die for them if necessary.

5. i think when i get overwhelmed it would be really great if i could go on .... a long hike.

6. When i crave food it's usually.... cheese, pears or chocolate milk.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight i'm looking forward to.... getting some much needed rest now the temperature has cooled, tomorrow my plans include.... celebrating Poppy's birthday at the zoo, and Sunday i want to.... get rid of my aches with a nice massage!

Do you ever get tired of the whole Master/slave thing or just need a break from it?

not really to be honest, as it's our way of life. That would be like asking 'do you ever get tired of the whole husband/wife thing?' or 'do you ever get tired of the whole mother/daughter thing?'. To me all of those roles are ones i signed up to for life, they're part of who i am at all times even when i'm away from Sir and Poppy, and though they can be difficult and frustrating at times the good far outweighs the bad and i have never wished that i wasn't a single one of them.

Sometimes of course i have a bad day and find myself getting frustrated with some of the more mundane aspects of being a slave, but i think that's true for everyone. Even vanilla people get frustrated with their roles at times, be it mother, wife, etc. It's part of being human. But i have never got to the point where i want a break from being a slave, and certainly never to the point where i have questioned whether this is right for me or whether i want to carry on. And i hope i never do.

Ask me anything

Wow, i'm actually posting this on the right day this week! Well, i guess that should be wow for even posting it at all as i know i have missed the last 2 or 3. i'll try to get back into the habit with these as they seem quite fun. Here goes:

1. Poppy saying "lubs you mama" or kissing my belly and saying "lubs you Finn, lubs you Willum".... never fails to make me smile.
2. i'm looking forward to ....meeting my beautiful twin boys when they are born and smelling their special new baby smell.
3. Classical music for babies.... is what i'm listening to right now.
4. Potato salad must have ....plenty of mayo in it!
5. Sir's tuna, peppers, sweetcorn and pasta salad with French dressing.... was the best thing i ate today.
6. Today was ....better than yesterday cos at least i was in control of my bowels.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight i'm looking forward to ....sleeping hopefully for a long time, tomorrow my plans include ....helping Sir exchange His company car for a bigger one for our explanding family, and Sunday i want to ....relax in the garden and watch Poppy play in her paddling pool!

i had an ultrasound scan on Tuesday this week, after the one i had a month ago showed 'possible abnormalities' with William's heart. By the time this scan came round i just wanted to know one way or the other, and be given as much information as possible about what might be wrong with him, how it will affect him and what can be done about it. The not knowing is the worst part for me.

So the news from the latest scan is good and bad. William seems to have 'multiple cardiac rhabdomyomas', which are basically benign tumours in his heart. But they are small, and not likely to grow much more, which means they are unlikely to cause him any problems. And these types of tumours start shrinking soon after birth and contiinue shrinking until they disappear entirely. That's the good news....

The potentially bad news is that these types of tumours are strongly associated with certain syndromes, in particular tuberous sclerosis (TS), especially when they are multiple as in William's case. i had heard vaguelly of TS before but didn't really know what it was, so i've been Googling it since Tuesday. See here for some more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuberous_sclerosis
As you can see the syndrome varies widely from person to person with some so mildly affected they may not even know they have it, and others severely affected with learning disabilities, developmental delay, epilepsy, tumours, behavioural problems, autism, etc. Obviously i hope that William doesn't have this condition, but if he does we will do our absolute best for him.

i have to go to a specialist centre in a hospital 30 miles away for further scans and tests in 2 weeks' time, then the consultants there should be able to tell us more. i am nervous and scared, but ultimately frustrated by not knowing. At this stage Finn looks to be healthy, so that's one blessing. For now we'll just keep holding on and hoping that William turns out to be too.

What is the preponderant feeling when you answer a question about your sexual life? embarrassment, arousal, pride...?

i'm not in the mood for deep-thinking today as i have a lot of other things on my mind, so i'm answering a couple of 'quickie' questions from formspring.

~ the predominant feeling when i answer a question about my sexual life *online* (i.e. in a BDSM chatroom, on my blog, in an email, etc) is a little bit of shyness or embarrassment. i don't really feel aroused, unless i am recounting some hot sex that Sir and i had, and i don't feel pride exactly, but the embarrassment i feel isn't because i am ashamed of what we do, it comes from my natural shyness. In real-life i don't discuss my sexual life with others!

Next question:
First time BDSM. How do I get into the lifestyle?

~ i've kind of answered this before on my blog so i suggest you read back some entries. Also you should read around the subject first, visit some information sites (there's some listed on my blog) to get an idea of what exactly you are interested in. Then you need to start 'meeting' people, whether that be in an online chatroom, at a local fetish group, etc., and hopefully from there you can find someone to engage in whatever BDSM activities you are seeking - from casual play, to training or a full M/s relationship. Just remember the usual cautions about not giving away too many personal details too soon, and always being safe the first few times you meet up with someone new.

Next question:
When your kids ask how you met, what will you say?

~ the same thing we answer when friends/family/colleagues/acquaintances have asked where we met: we got chatting online, realised we got on well, decided to meet in person as we lived near to each other, and it went from there. So depending on your viewpoint we either met online, or in a cafe! (And there's no lies in any of that account, it just neglects to mention the BDSM aspect of the meeting, as we neglect to mention the BDSM aspect of our relationship in general - some information doesn't need to be shared).

Thanks for the questions, i have plenty more to answer. Please be patient if i haven't got round to your's yet!

Ask me anything

A little while back i posted about this 'new girl' i had met at a BDSM dinner party. her name is Eloise and she is a sub being trained by one of Sir's Dom friends who we know quite well. At the party we got chatting and did a lil bit of shy flirting, and Sir agreed with her Dom that we would keep meeting up to see where this attraction between us would lead (we are both bi).

So far we have met a couple of times round Sir Mark's house, and then on Thursday we went out on a 'date' together, just the two of us! i was excited but also nervous as i have never been on a date with a woman before, but i made it easier that at least i knew Eloise quite well beforehand so the shyness factor wouldn't get in the way quite as much as it usually does with me on first dates. We had chosen to go out to dinner because that would give us a chance to chat properly and also we could be relaxed with each other without there being any expectations about what might happen! so i got dressed up pretty (nice wrap-around top that looks good on my bump, preggie jeans and cute but comfy shoes), and Eloise came to pick me up and drove us to a restaurant where Sir had reserved a table for us.

Overall it was a nice evening, we both settled down really quickly and chatted about loads of different things over dinner - some BDSM/subbie stuff but mainly just about ourselves, our backgrounds, interests, jobs, families, etc. And it was while we were chatting away that i realised something - though i am attracted to Eloise and find her very pretty and 'cute', and i would potentially be interested in a physical relationship/play/exploration with her of some sort if she agrees to it, and though she is sweet and funny and i get on well with her, that's as far as it goes. i am not falling in love with her, i do not want her to become my girlfriend, i do not consider her as potentially joining in with our poly dynamic, i see her solely as a playmate and nothing else. It's nothing to do with her, it's just that that attraction isn't there for me beyond the purely physical - if she didn't have her looks, or i wasn't attracted to her appearance i don't think i would be considering any kind of further play with her at all. Which may sound shallow of me, but it's the truth. Yes we get on, but as casual friends only, there is nothing even resembling the closeness i feel to flame, for example, that connection just isn't there and i don't think it has the potential to form at any time in the future. We are just too different and there isn't that spark between us.

i guess what i need to do now is speak to flame about all this and find out her thoughts on me taking things further with Eloise, because the last thing i would want to do is upset or hurt flame. If she is happy with it, then i will ask Sir what He wants me to do to further my training, and then i will approach Eloise and try to take things further. But to be honest i really won't be particularly upset or disappointed if it doesn't work out for whatever reason. Some things are meant to be, and some things aren't, but for the meantime i am just enjoying spending time with a pretty girl!

Do you think your relationship will affect your daughter? Will Sir's attitude towards you be turned also to your child?

When i first read this question it made me angry. What kind of a person do you think Sir is that He would allow His personal preferences in a relationship to negatively affect the upbringing and life of His child(ren)? Then i realised that some people have been in exactly that situation themselves (not necessarily because of being in a BDSM family), where their childhood was badly affected by the lifestyle choices of their parent(s), so i have decided to answer this question here after all.

When Sir and i found out i was pregnant with Poppy He immediately changed and updated my rules, in order to keep both of us safe and healthy throughout. And these rules were updated again after i gave birth, with prominence given to the needs of our child(ren) - for example they specifically state that Poppy's needs always come first, that we will not practice our D/s dynamic in an overt way in front of her, that we will have equal say in decisions affecting her, etc. So i am confident that the fact that her parents happen to be in a BDSM relationship will not affect her in a negative way, in fact i think it will serve to provide her with a loving, caring, supportive household in which to grow up.

If you could see Sir with Poppy you would never have asked the second part of the question. He is one of the most loving, patient, adoring, doting, firm yet always fair Dads there could possibly be and Poppy absolutely loves Him too. He is a vanilla father to her, there is never any hint of BDSM in any of His interactions with her, nor would i expect there to be! i consented to this lifestyle, she has not, i am His slave, she is not! It's not like Sir has a blanket view of all women and expects to treat them all the same! i am actually very offended for the second part of that question, and wish i could show everybody just how fantastic a father Sir is and how happy and well-cared for Poppy is, but i guess you probably wouldn't believe me anyway. i just hope that most readers of this blog don't think along the same lines as the person who asked this question...

Ask me anything

i have now closed my latest poll, on how many times people had been collared or given a collar. To be honest i expected the results to show that online collars are given a lot more frequently, and that these relationships tend not to last very long. Therefore i was expecting that the online BDSMers would have received or given a lot more collars than the real-life folk had. But i was surprised by the results! See for yourself:

~ only once in real-life = 58%
~ only once online = 14%
~ other = 12%
~ more than 10 times in real-life = 6%
~ 2-3 times in real-life = 4%
~ 2-3 times online = 4%
~ 4-6 times in real-life = 2%

So the vast majority of people have only been in a collaring relationship once, and that tends to be in real-life rather than online. And all of those who have been in more than 3 collaring relationships have done it in real-life, rather than online. Which is the opposite of what i expected! It just goes to show.....

Thanks to everyone who voted, please keep an eye out for my next poll coming soon!

Recently there was a blog post on 'Kinky Sex Link' based on this article:
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/bdsm_a_new_sexual_orientation

in which a counsellor suggests that BDSM is a sexual orientation, just like being straight, lesbian, gay, bi, etc. When i first read the article i was really excited because i thought it would be a way in which we could slowly get mainstream society to accept us as 'different' rather than 'sick' or 'bad' or 'dangerous' for choosing to engage in the lifestyle that we do. Perhaps this is the way we can change people's attitudes towards BDSM?

But having pondered on the article some more i have come to realise that i actually don't agree with it. i agree that BDSM should become more accepted and acceptable, that it's not 'wrong' to have those desires and feelings anymore than having homosexual desires is 'wrong', and that it is an inbuilt 'difference' which cannot be counselled out of someone... but i disagree that BDSM is a sexual orientation. The reasons i feel this are quite varied but i will try to explain them here.

Firstly, to categorise BDSM as merely sexual in nature is wrong. There is so much more to it than that and some people participate in BDSM activities without getting involved in sex at all. Some people are solely 'service' orientated and derive satisfaction purely from knowing they have helped someone else. Then of course, there are those who are purely in it for the sexual gratification and are only Dominant or submissive in the bedroom - for those people i guess it could be called a sexual orientation, but i would term it more of a preference as i suspect that most of them would, have and perhaps do engage in vanilla sexual activities as well. For the vast majority of lifestylers then, BDSM involves sex but that is only a small part of the deal for them and so it is much more of a lifestyle than a sexual orientation.

The second point i wanted to make is that many people who would be classified as 'BDSMers', would probably be able to function quite well in a vanilla sexual relationship. It may not be their first choice or their preferred choice, but given a lack of other options i imagine they would still derive sexual pleasure from it. That doesn't seem like an 'orientation' in my opinion because it doesn't go far enough. Again BDSM becomes more of a preference or inclination rather than an outright orientation, in the sexual sense.

i expect there will be many who disagree with me, but for myself at least i wouldn't see my involvement in the BDSM lifestyle as a sexual orientation. Sex is only a very small part of why i submit to Sir, of what we do everyday that makes us Master and slave. There is so much more to the lifestyle that to categorise it as a sexual orientation somehow diminishes it, in my view, and makes it so much less than it actually is. Any thoughts?

Sometime over this weekend, my hit counter of visits went over the 250,000 mark. That's a quarter of a million reads of my humble little blog!! What started out as a way for Sir to keep track of my thoughts and progress, and for me to get some support and interaction with other subs online, has become so much more. i am grateful to every single person who has visited here, left a comment, followed me, added me on Twitter, taken part in a poll or survey, linked to me, mentioned me, emailed me (through Sir), asked a question on formspring, etc. because without all of you this blog wouldn't have been a success. So thank you, and i hope you continue to read here and enjoy it.

libby
xxxxx

You mentioned in one of your previous formspring answers that you sometimes have an hour or so that you get to tell him what to do? Do you consider this "switching"? Is that something you are interested in?

It's not so much that i tell Sir what to do, more like i am allowed to request what i would like. To me there's a big difference, because normally i don't make requests during sex, i take what i am given and give what i am told to - it's just how things work and what we both prefer. So to be able to request what i would most like is exciting and liberating, but only for that little amount of time - after a while i am craving for Sir to take charge again and ravage me and use me how He wants to!

The occasions when i am allowed an hour to make sexual requests are only on special occasions such as my birthday or Valentine's Day, and they're not guaranteed, so if Sir decided i wasn't getting it then i wouldn't. i don't consider it switching at all, as i am hardly ordering Sir around and i am definitely not Dominating Him, nor is He submitting to me - i guess it's the closest to 'vanilla' sex we come during those times as we are both requesting what we want and getting it.

i am not interested in switching, either with females or males. The closest i come to it is when i tease some of the subbie boys in the chatroom i go to, ask them questions about themselves, etc. but the thought of actually taking control of them, telling them what to do and being Dominant over them turns me off completely and makes me not repulsed exactly, but it is something which does not appeal to me in the slightest. And i would never ever want to switch with Sir.

Ask me anything

Today Sir took me to London to spend the spa voucher i got for Christmas, and it was soooo needed and sooooo lovely. i absolutely love The Sanctuary Spa, their treatments leave you feeling amazing, their products smell so delicious and their therapists are so good at pampering you and tailoring the treatment to your needs. i'm such a lucky girl :)

i had 3 treatments:
~ the 'mum to be indulgence package' which started off with an all-over body massage, concentrating on my neck and back and shoulders where most of my tension is, then application of yummy oils and creams and lotions to moisturise and hydrate my skin, especially on my bewbies, bump and bottom, and then a cold stone massage on my legs, ankles and feet to reduce some of the swelling there.
~ the 'luxury Jessica pedicure' to sort out my rather messed-up feet! my feet were exfoliated, scrubbed, filed, brushed, pumice-stoned and massaged, i had balms and lotions and masks applied to sort out the skin, my toenails were trimmed and filed and shaped and buffed and had a nail polish applied, and the end result was pretty feet again :) Plus i got given the nail polish to take home and reapply when needed!
~ 'Rasul mud head massage' which was a lot nicer than it sounds, very relaxing and soothing and my hair looked lovely after all the gunk had been rinsed out of it, plus my scalp was pleasantly tingly for quite a while after.

Whilst i was enjoying my treatments, and lunch, and use of the swimming pool, Poppy and Sir went to the London aquarium together, which she absolutely loved apparently (she is turning into a real animal lover, but her favourites are definitely sea creatures at the moment). Sir took lots of photos of her staring at the sharks in awe, and she found a shark toy in the shop which Sir bought for her - it's a shark head on a stick which snaps its jaws shut when you pull the trigger. Sir also secretly bought her a shark cuddly toy which we are going to give her on her birthday as she asked for a 'shark' for her present!

Back at home now and feeling very floaty and relaxed and soft and smooth. Makes me want to get nakie and rub myself up against someone......

Just imagine if BDSM one day became accepted as 'OK' by society in general, as a lifestyle choice.....

Just imagine if D/s couples were able to be open about their relationship, wear outward symbols of their status in public and act towards each other in a manner befitting their roles without the fear of being arrested or negative reactions from others.....

Just imagine being able to hold a collaring ceremony as easily as you can hold a wedding, invite all your friends and family, draw up an official contract, and buy collaring gifts and cards in the shops to celebrate a BDSM couple's union.....

Just imagine the wide variety of relationships within BDSM being accepted as legitimate lifestyle choices by the general public, so people no longer had to feel 'different' for living in open or poly or Daddy-little girl, or any other type of dynamic.....

Just imagine being able to be open with your family, friends and work colleagues about your involvement with the BDSM lifestyle, without fear or rejection, recriminations or reprisals.....

Just imagine being able to hold BDSM events and parties openly, with the local neighbourhood aware of them and tolerating them and maybe even coming along to some of them.....

How fantastic would that be, if we could let ourselves be ourselves throughout our daily lives, in public as well as private, openly as well as secretively, with all the people we know and meet on a daily basis. i hope one day this becomes a reality.

P.S. i'm not suggesting that it would be OK for people to be paraded naked down the street or to perform 'scenes' in public or anything like that. Children and members of the public should still be protected from seeing those types of things, but it would be nice to be able to acknowledge who and what we are to everyone.

There seem to be so many rules. Do you ever have trouble remembering them all or are they second nature now? If the latter is the case, how long did it take you to get to that point?

There are a lot of rules, but Sir did that purposefully because He knows that i operate best when the expectations and boundaries are clearly laid out for me and there is less room for ambiguity. Had He not done that, i would have been bothering Him every few minutes, asking what to do about such and such because it wasn't covered in the rules, and i would have been fretting about whether i'd done the right thing in certain situations when He wasn't available to check with. So this way we both benefit.

There have been quite a few revisions to the rules, due to changes in life circumstances such as pregnancy, or bringing up children (or both!), and sometimes Sir will add in an extra part to a rule because of something which occurs in daily life which He feels i haven't quite reacted to in the way i should. But whenever a new rule or set of rules is introduced, Sir always gives me a period of grace during which He will not punish me for accidental breaches of the rules, but He will remind me instead and help me redo my actions keeping to the rules. In that way i quickly come to learn the new rules, and because they cover so many parts of my daily life they become engrained and it is the natural way for me to do things.

i think it has been easier for me to live by Sir's rules because that was what was expected of me from the very moment i moved in with Him. So during that time when everything was new, and i was thinking 'what's the best way to go about this?' for each situation i could then think what my rules said (or even consult the written copy if i had forgotten), and so i kind of learnt the rules one by one as each situation cropped up. So i think it really only took a couple of months until i was confident with all of the rules and keeping to the vast majority of them without prompts. And that's probably even less time for when they change as i just need to remember the changes and not relearn a whole new set, and of course Sir is reminding me of the changes every day so i soon internalise them and make the necessary adjustments to my behaviour.

i know that some people would find living by my rules too restrictive, even for a slave, but they're what i'm used to and i find it comforting to know that i am doing things how Sir wants me to because i have such a clear set of guidelines to work by. So for me they have definitely helped, and i wouldn't be without them.

Ask me anything

(This picture is not my rabbit, but it's the closest i could find on the internet, though Muffin has a fluffier fringe round his head).

This post is a tribute to my pet rabbit Muffin, who died Friday night after being with me for 8 years. When i went to make breakfast on Saturday morning he wasn't waiting at the bars of his cage to greet me like normal, and at first i thought he was sleeping but when i called his name he didn't get up so i knew something was wrong. i went to check on him and found him laying down peacefully on his side, but not breathing, so i think his heart just stopped in his sleep. Up till then he had been active and healthy, so at least i know he was happy till the end and went very peacefully and painlessly. But i still feel very sad that he is gone because he was such a loving and loveable little guy.

i first got Muffin as a baby rabbit before i met Sir. my sister got a rabbit too, the same breed but in brown, but they didn't get on and Doughnut would attack Muffin if they were put together so we had to keep them separate always. Then when i moved in with Sir i took Muffin with me and my sister kept Doughnut so they were apart anyway, but Muffin was quite content with human company so didn't seem to miss having another rabbit in the house. i trained him when he was still little, and he was very clever and obedient so he learnt these commands: "treats", "home", "stay still" (for putting his harness on), "up" (e.g. onto the sofa), "down" (if he climbed onto something he shouldn't), "no!", and he recognised his name and understood "good boy". Muffin was a house rabbit, so he often used to come out and hop round when we were all in the lounge in the evening, and he had a special harness to go into the garden with. He learnt to use a litter-box just like a cat and was very clean about only doing his wees and poos in that area, so he was easy to look after. He was very gentle and affectionate and loved stroking, he would nuzzle at your hand to request petting and often hopped up into my lap to get some nice strokes. He was also very good with Poppy and would let her stroke him and feed him by hand and he never nipped or kicked or scratched. He used to listen to my singing and his favourite TV programme was Eastenders - he would hop over to the side of his cage to watch it when he heard the theme music come on.

Basically he was an adorable bundle of fluff, and i loved him very much and will miss him now he is gone. We buried him in the garden yesterday, and there is a big hole in our household at the moment. It is very difficult to explain to Poppy where the 'babbit' has gone, and i am torn about whether to get another one or not, especially with the twins coming. Sir has said we will leave it a couple of weeks and then make a decision.

Good bye Muffin, you were a great pet and i will always remember you.