Trophy slave

January 16, 2011

Trophy slave

i've been thinking a lot recently about whether i am a 'trophy' slave or not, after some comments made to me by people i know in the P&H chatroom. In the vanilla world being a trophy girlfriend or wife is seen in quite a negative light (as in "Oh, she's just his trophy girlfriend, that's why he's with her") - it means the relationship is quite shallow, perhaps one-sided, and based only on looks and the kudos the man can receive for having bagged such a 'catch'. But having mulled it over i think being a 'trophy' can actually be viewed in a positive light in the BDSM world, and i'll explain why.

In BDSM relationships, and particularly in M/s relationships the sub/slave is all about pleasing and serving the Master. Which includes changing and maintaining her appearance, hair, make-up, clothing etc to suit His preferences. So it makes sense in that way that He would want to show her off and be proud of her physical attractiveness as He has spent so much time getting her the exact way He wants her to look. Also there is a great deal of training and shaping involved in having a slave, and most Masters will want to be able to show off the results of their work by demonstrating to other people in the lifestyle how well their slave can serve and perform certain tasks. They will naturally want their slave to be admired for her service and complimented on this fact because it reflects back on their skills as a Master that they have been able to train her so well. This relates to the next point too: that a slave's behaviour reflects on her Master - when out in public and especially when among others in the lifestyle (and to me this includes BDSM forums and chatrooms) a slave represents her Master so any negative characteristics will reflect back negatively on the training of her Master and vice versa. Thus to be a trophy slave in this sense means to reflect positively on the prowess of the one who owns her.

As a slave i am therefore happy to be considered my Master's trophy, proud that i am good enough for Him to want to show me off, pleased that i have reached a stage in my accomplishments where He might receive compliments about me from other Doms, and always trying to reflect Him in a good light through my behaviour, whether He is with me or not. Because us slaves want to be pleasing in all aspects of our lives, it is not demeaning to be considered a 'trophy', as this means we are top calibre and have made our Masters proud. The only time i can think it would be negative in a BDSM-light would be if the Dom only wanted to have the sub as a trophy to show off, "look who i've collared", and wasn't really interested in the maintenance and upkeep of the relationship, took no time to train the slave or see to her needs. Then it would become a negative thing. But in that case the slave would have to be pretty fine in the first place to be collared just to be shown off, she must have received training from others in order to get to that point, so i think she would be better off waiting for someone who wanted a proper relationship as well as a trophy slave.

i have also been told that i am somewhat of a trophy to the P&H chatroom i visit, merely because i am living the BDSM lifestyle in real-life, not just online. When i thought about it i realised that the vast majority of people on there practice the lifestyle online only, in chatroom scenes or other such methods and do not have a Master/slave in real-life. So the fact that i am living in a 24/7 real-life relationship with my Master and we are now married with 3 children might give others in the chatroom hope that they too can find that kind of relationship if they desire it. And it also gives some authenticity to the room, that it's not just a bunch of people acting out their fantasies through words on a screen, but that some of us act on them in our day-to-day lives too. It makes the scening and the discussions seem more 'real' and 'relevant' in a way i guess. Not that i'm trying to be big-headed or anything, because i know there are people on there who are much better sceners than i am and who have way more experience in the lifestyle than i do. And if most of them are happy to keep their BDSM-life online only, kudos to them for being able to satisfy that part of their character whilst maintaining different relationships in the real world. i was merely trying to see where the title 'trophy' might have been applied to me in the chatroom sense.

So there you have it, my thoughts on trophies in the BDSM world, and once again a demonstration of how ideas which can seem negative and derogatory in the vanilla lifestyle are often the opposite in the BDSM one. Funny that, huh?

P.S. i'm trying to get some active discussions going again, so please check out the LineBox discussion widget for this or other posts and consider adding your thoughts to the discussion if you want to - thanks!