A day in my life #3

February 06, 2011

A day in my life #3

i reckon it's about time i updated/added to my 'day in the life' series by including a typical daily routine now that we have 3 young children. Obviously each day is different, depending on the feeding/sleeping schedules of the boys, William's health, their moods, what activities we have on, etc., but i'll try to give a general idea here of what it's like to be a slave and a mummy to 3 little ones. (You can find my previous posts like this in the sidebar).

6:00am - William normally wakes up about this time for his first feed of the day, and since his way of announcing his hunger is to scream loudly Finn wakes up too! i always wanted to feed them at the same times anyway, and since Finn is so easygoing with his schedule it makes sense to let William be the one who sets it for both of them, so if William is late in waking i let Finn sleep in too. i feed the boys in bed using a special breastfeeding pillow which supports them really well and leaves my arms free. They normally take about 20mins to feed, but sometimes William is super hungry and wants more. This is also when we give William his morning medicines - keppra and phenobarbitrol - which we syringe into his mouth and he swallows right down.

6:30am - William usually wants another nap after his feed, but Finn is usually ready to start his day, so i change both boys' nappies then lay William back down (swaddled in his special blanket otherwise he gets cranky) in their cot which is in our bedroom, and i get Finn washed and dressed. After saying good morning to Sir who usually wakes up properly around this time (though He can't fail to be woken up by William everyday!), i leave Finn with Sir whilst i go downstairs and make me and Sir a cup of tea, which i bring back to bed. We have some time snuggling and chatting in bed together before we both have to get up and get ready for the day ahead, and i really enjoy this time of the day because it feels like we can properly connect as Master/slave and husband/wife during this time.

7:00am - i go and get Poppy up and washed and dressed and ready for her day, then get Sir's shower running and His clothes laid out on the bed for Him. Whilst He is showering i go downstairs with Finn and Poppy (Sir keeps an eye on the sleeping William) and get the breakfast ready for everyone and make Sir's lunch to take to work. i also pack Poppy's bag to take to nursery because though i try to get it done the night before normally i am too tired, so it has to wait until morning! Poppy likes to 'help' me make the breakfast and she is super cheery in the mornings, chatting away about what she is going to do that day and playing with Finn and making him giggle. i really enjoy making the breakfast with her, it helps wake me up properly and feel prepared for the day ahead.

7:30am - Sir comes downstairs with William (sometimes he is awake by then or sometimes he is still sleeping) and either way i usually pop him into the baby sling to have him snuggled close to me whilst me, Sir and Poppy eat breakfast. Finn sits in his bouncer chair next to the table and babbles away to us all and thoroughly enjoys being part of the hustle and bustle of the family in the morning, but William is still a sleepy-head and needs some quiet snuggle time before he can face the day. The baby sling is a really great way for me to carry him around the house during the day as well, because he seems to need lots of snuggles and cuddles and physical contact but he is getting very heavy to carry now especially as he doesn't have any head and neck control yet so i have to support his head for him. When i have Finn on the other hip it gets very tiring for the arm holding William, so i tend to rely on the sling to carry him around.

8:00am - i clear away the breakfast things, load the dishwasher and make sure Sir and Poppy have everything they need to go to work/nursery. i help Poppy brush her teeth and fix her hair if i haven't had time to do it yet, then i see Sir and Poppy off at the front door - Sir drops her at nursery and then carries on driving to work. i used to feel a bit guilty about sending Poppy to nursery everyday, as she is still a little girl and needs her mummy-time, but she enjoys it so much and looks forward to playing with her friends and learning new things there that i've realised it is the best thing for everyone. And i make sure she gets plenty of mummy time when she is at home.

8:30am - i get William washed and dressed and ready for the day, change the boys' nappies and then jump in the shower. Normally i leave the boys in their bouncer chairs in the doorway so that i can keep an eye on them, and i sing songs to keep them happy whilst i'm in the shower. Luckily William is soothed by the sound of the water so he doesn't get cranky, and as i've said before Finn is a placid young man so rarely gets cross about anything. i can usually get a quick shower in, get dried and dressed without any problems, but sometimes one of them will need a nappy change in the middle of it all, or William will have a seizure or something and i end up seeing to one or other of the boys, dripping wet! i always wear whatever outfit Sir has left out on the bed for me (He also leaves some spares in case of baby accidents during the day! And i put on my necklace collar and my charm bracelet to remind me of who i am).

9:00am - i try to get any chores for the day done early so that then we're free to enjoy the rest of our time. i don't have to worry about too much of the cleaning as we have a lady who comes in once a week to do all that, but i usually put a washload on, maybe do some ironing, have a quick tidy round, that sort of thing. i carry the boys around the house wherever i go - William in the sling and Finn usually has some sitting practice in his Bumbo chair while he watches me do the housework, though he is getting so good at sitting that soon he won't need it! William is also soothed by many of the housework sounds such as the washing machine, tumble drier and hoover, so he's a contented little man whilst i'm getting on with the chores. And i make sure to chat away to the boys constantly whilst we're together, and i can have little conversations with Finn now where he'll babble back at me in the pauses :)

10:00am - we stop for a rest and i make sure both boys have a position change as i don't like them to be in one place for too long. i feed them and change their nappies and then give them some time on the floor or their playgyms, whilst i'm getting everything ready for us to go out (though normally they both take a quick catnap at this time). In the beginning it seemed like such a big task to get everything packed to leave the house, but i've got it down to a fine art now and can be checking in on the boys in between gathering up what we need, packing the various bags we take with us and loading up the buggy. We have quite a busy week and usually have somewhere to go everyday, but they're all within easy walking distance of the house and i find it does all of us good to get out into the fresh air so i don't mind not being able to drive. Mondays we go to the baby stories and songs session in the library in town, Tuesdays we go into the village or to the park or round the town and we now have baby sensory club in the afternoon (i usually try to get William's doctor or hospital appointments scheduled on a Tuesday as well, if he needs any), Wednesdays we go to mummies and babies yoga classes (and there is a mummy and baby swim class i want to take Finn to in the afternoons, just as soon as my mum is confident in looking after William by herself), Thursdays we stay in because William's physio comes over to do his session for an hour and i take the opportunity to spend some special time with Finn (sometimes it feels like everything is about William and his needs, so i think it's important to have one-to-one time with Finn too), and Fridays we go to the early intervention clinic for group therapy and William's hydrotherapy (and i get a chance to chat with other mummies of special babies), whilst my mum looks after Finn. It might seem like a lot, but we all enjoy these activities and it gets us out of the house and being active and meeting other people, and it gives both boys lots of stimulation.

12:00pm - the boys usually take a nap at this time (in their prams as we are still out of the house) so i have some lunch and a chance to sit down and relax! Usually i take a packed lunch out with us so i can eat it wherever we are, but sometimes i treat myself to lunch in a cafe, and the early intervention clinic provides lunch for a really reasonable price so i always eat there and spend more time chatting with the other mums, which helps me to feel less alone in dealing with William and his problems.

1:00pm - lunch time for the boys, either out of the house at one of our clubs/groups or back at home if we've had time to make it back to the house. Sometimes i'll go food shopping on the way back from a club, and sometimes we'll go for a walk or to the park or round the town for some extra fresh air. In the beginning i was very self-conscious about breastfeeding both boys in public because it's hard to do without exposing yourself, but i've had plenty of practice now and so long as i take the special cushion with us i can do it fairly easily and discreetly.  The boys also need at least 2-3 nappy changes whilst we're out, but again i've found that much less daunting than i expected to, so long as i change William first otherwise he goes into super-cross mode!

2:00pm - we're usually back at home by now, except for those days when we have an afternoon club. If we're at home we spend the afternoon in 'playtime', and i try to ensure we do a range of activities and something different everyday - here's a list of some of the things we do: stories/looking at books, songs and rhymes, watching the signing videos, listening to music (especially the Baby Einstein CDs), playgym and tummy-time, playing with toys, time in the swings or bouncer seats, interactive games (such as peekaboo, etc). Plus i also make sure that William gets some visual therapy during this time, using light-up or brightly coloured toys to encourage him to look at them, focus on them and track them with his eyes. When the boys are having tummy-time (which Finn loves and William hates) i'll go through a shorter version of William's physio routine with him for about 15-20mins depending on how well he tolerates it. At the moment we're working on him holding his head up when on his tummy, putting his arms down and pushing through them when laying over the small physio roll, opening his hands to feel things and grasping and releasing objects put into his hands.

3:00pm - massage-time! This is the part of the day that the boys and i enjoy the most because it's super-relaxing and also gives us a great chance to bond and get close to each other. i love to watch the expressions on their faces whilst i'm massaging them, and feel them relaxing and getting very still under my hands. i massage William first whilst Finn has some time in his jumperoo or using one of his kick toys, then i lay William in his special baby beanbag whilst i massage Finn. Massage makes William super-docile and he also loves the music, so once he's had his turn he is usually fine with me spending some time with Finn for his turn. i make sure to change their nappies before we begin, so normally there are no interruptions (unless William has a seizure) and we can all enjoy the time together. i spend about 20mins on each baby and then we have some snuggle time afterwards, curled up on the sofa with all 3 of us together, which usually leads into all of us having a well-deserved nap!

4:30pm - i try to get the dinner started or at least prepared before Sir comes home, unless He has said He wants to cook that day or i am using one of the meals we prepare at the weekend and put in the freezer. It all depends on how busy that day has been, how William is, etc. The boys are usually still napping at this point, so i keep popping my head into the lounge to check on them, but i also take the baby monitor into the kitchen with me, plus Finn will always wake up and cry if William has a big seizure so we're pretty well covered!

5:00pm - Sir and Poppy arrive home (Sir collects her from nursery on His way home from work). i change the boys' nappies and feed them whilst spending some time chatting with Poppy, finding out about her day at nursery, answering her many questions, looking at any paintings or crafts or cooking she has brought home with her, telling her what me and the boys have been up to, watching children's TV with her, etc. Sir takes over with cooking the dinner at this point so i can see to the children, and sometimes Poppy will wander through to 'help' him until she sees the boys have finished nursing at which point she will play with them and chat to them and sing to them and generally keep them occupied whilst Sir and i catch up on our days and what has been happening while the dinner cooks. Poppy is really great with the boys and truly loves them so much, it is so sweet to see her with them and Finn responds really well to her and has a great big smile as soon as she comes near him. William likes her singing and can often be soothed by a Poppy song when nothing else works, so he loves her too in his own little way! i try to ensure that i do little things to 'serve' Sir during this time like making Him a drink without being asked, fetching His slippers, massaging His shoulders, etc. as i know He has had a long day at work.

5:45pm - hopefully the dinner is ready by now and we all sit down to eat together, including the boys who join us at the table. Finn has been showing interest in food for a little while now, so i think it's nearly time to start introducing him to solids, but William shows no response to it at all and due to his head control issues he can't sit in a high chair like his brother so he prefers to have some quiet time in his baby sling during dinner except for when he has to come out to have his evening medicines - same routine as in the morning and so far he has taken them really well everyday. Poppy loves her food and is a really good eater so we never have any problems with her being fussy, and Sir is such a great cook and looks after my nutritional needs really well so dinner times are a lovely relaxed social occasion in our family. 

6:30pm - after dinner i clear the table and load the dishwasher, then we all go through to the lounge and have some quiet time together before the children's bedtimes. Sir likes to spend this time playing and chatting with the kiddies as He doesn't get much chance otherwise, and He does Poppy's bedtime routine and always has since she was a baby. i think it's really sweet that He takes the time to do this, and it means that Poppy knows she is loved and cared for by both her parents.

7:00pm - Sir starts Poppy's bedtime routine of bath, story, song, lights out. Poppy is normally in bed and asleep by about 7:30pm, then sometimes me and Sir stay downstairs so that He can watch TV whilst i chat on my laptop or sometimes He goes to His study to do some work whilst i come upstairs to get snuggled into bed with my laptop. At some point during the evening Sir always reads the paper and i know not to disturb Him during that time, but otherwise we spend quite a lot of our evening relaxing together, which is a really lovely way to end the day. Sir is also good about helping to change the boys' nappies and get them ready for bed - often He does this by Himself but depending on William's mood sometimes i help Him so that we don't end up with a cranky William! We try to keep the boys nice and quiet and their environment very peaceful during this time so that they can be winding down ready for bed, and they both love a bath so that helps them relax too if it's a bath-night.

8:30pm - final feed of the evening for the boys, normally snuggled in bed using the special pillow. Then i put them down to sleep in their cot and they usually drift off pretty much straight away. That leaves me and Sir free to snuggle and chat and relax together for the rest of the evening - Him with a book or magazine or newspaper or TV programme, me with my laptop catching up with friends on the chatrooms. If i want an evening snack i need to get Sir's permission, and sometimes He will want me to fetch Him a snack or a drink. Plus i always make sure He has a glass of water next to Him and i top it up before we go to sleep every night as He gets thirsty in the night sometimes. In the winter i like to make Him a hot chocolate in the evenings and sometimes i will have done some baking at the weekend and can bring Him a homemade biscuit or cake or brownie or piece of pie.

11:00pm - this is my official bedtime and i am required to shut down my laptop and get ready for bed. Often i am tired before this time so get ready for bed earlier, but sometimes i have drifted off to sleep with my laptop still on! i try not to do this but sometimes i can't help it :/ i make sure Sir has everything He needs for the night and i kneel by the side of the bed and wait to be told to get in - it's a nice slave ritual that we still have that reminds me of my place at the end of each day and it helps to settle me ready for sleep. Usually i get to sleep really quickly once the light is turned off, and sleep right through until 1:30am which is when the boys wake for their nightly feed, unless they wake in the meantime or William has a seizure or Poppy wakes up (which is rare). The boys only nurse once in the night unless they are going through a growth spurt, so i get a decent amount of sleep and Sir gets enough sleep to be able to function properly at work the next day. Poppy never gets woken by the boys, even when William does his super-cross scream, which is a good thing, and she's really good about occupying herself if she wake early in the morning.

So there's my daily routine, more or less. i think it shows how organised we are as a family and how we all work together to support each other. And though the overt M/s elements may be missing from our relationship right now, i hope it shows how Sir and i still love each other and work as a team.