February 20, 2011
The one thing....
that keeps me going as a slave, that stops me from feeling like that side of me is completely dormant during my pregnancies or like now when we've decided to reprioritise and focus on the children for a while, i figured out what that one thing is, what the crucial element in my life has to be in order to keep my slave side alive. You know what it is?
Being useful.
Not even necessarily in a slave-like way, doesn't have to be anything to do with D/s, doesn't even have to be being useful to Sir though i would hope that i always am and i certainly make the effort to every single day, because i think that's an important basis to our relationship. But just so long as i can feel that i am being useful in my daily life - to my friends, to my children, to Sir, to other members of my family, to people on the chatrooms, to my blog readers, even to strangers i meet when i go out into the big wide world.... if i can be useful then my slave side keeps ticking over, until such time as we can reignite the BDSM side of our relationship properly when circumstances allow. Being useful is what got me through both my pregnancies when i felt like otherwise i wasn't being much of a slave, it's also what got me through the PND and probably what kept me from completely sinking into a little pit of despair because i knew i couldn't do that as there were people (not least of whom an innocent baby) depending on me and i had to be useful to them, and it's also what's keeping me going through our current circumstances where due to having young twins one of whom has special needs we're not able to be so active in our M/s relationship as we once were.
Being useful. Such a little thing, but one that means so much to me. Just thought i'd share.
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4 comments:
Very true libby! Too many of us forget that.
5:49 PMHugs,
mouse
Having a purpose is something that is very important. If it is a purpose for a short time, a specific task or for the long term, having someone with some expectation of you fulfilling that task gives a focus, which I have found particuarly useful when times are difficult or challenging.
11:44 AMHSxx
Thank you so much for posting this. It really came at a wonderful time. I am in the late stages of pregnancy and I have been struggling with it for awhile now. Hearing your perspective and how you've handled things successfully was very encouraging.
3:16 PM-cen
.... except being useful wasn't enough to sustain me past 9 months of being pregnant followed by 6 months of focusing on our twins - i started getting increasingly down from lack of 'slaveness' so Sir has had to step in and remedy things.
7:24 AMBut good luck with your own pregnancy, birth and adjustment to having a newborn, centipede.
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