March 18, 2011
Bad rep
"I am looking for someone who wants a young, sexy Mistress or Princess to spoil, adore and OBEY. If you are ready to be My pay pig, then contact Me now. You must be prepared to PROVE you want to spoil Me financially by sending Me a small donation or gift certificate. If you are not ready to spoil Me with gifts, then KEEP IT MOVING."
She also has various wish lists on her blog that link to sites such as Amazon, Macy's and Victoria's Secrets where people can send her gift certificates or presents, and she sells her worn panties for $40 for 2 pairs. The whole thing just sickens and disgusts me, and reminds me why there is such a prejudice against the BDSM lifestyle in society. If this is the kind of image they have of people who practice it, then no wonder.
*Edited to add: Master Dream has posted on His blog about this. You can find it here.*
Posts
12 comments:
Well said, Libby! - but I guess that in every walk of life there are those that wish to exploit :(
9:05 AM'Desperate Male Subbie' but always on his guard :)
xxx
Truly sad that such people out there exist only to seduce and exploit subs. I would hope that one would see through her charade, but as P.T. Barnum once said, "there's a sucker born every minute."
10:25 AMUnfortunately, that seems to be the predominant persona projected by the vocal majority of Dommes, at least online. So, it is not surprising that that is the stereotype in peoples minds.
4:05 PMThere is a very well and thriving kink/fetish of financial domination that some people get off on. While it's possible that this particular person is abusing that, it's also possible that she's just playing up her kink and feeding the submissives who want to participate.
8:09 PMShe is, after all, not forcing any of them to pay her. They do it because they want to and feel good doing so.
Just an alternate thought.
She is not exploiting or taking advantage of anyone.
8:38 PMAs a Domme, financial Domination is clearly what she is into. It is a perfectly legitimate lifestyle choice. Trust me, there are many submissive males who are wealthy and are into financial Domination, giving the Domme whatever they want. My Pro-Domme Auntie has a client who enjoys buying her dresses, putting her up in lavish hotel rooms, and getting her spa treatments when she sessions with him. He enjoys doing it, it is truly his kink, and it is her job to make fantasies and kinks come true. If both parties are willing to enjoy it, why is it wrong? If she (this Domme you posted about) were exploiting her subs, then she wouldn't be so honest about it. She clearly states what she wants, and what she needs. If a sub doesn't like it, he won't go to her. He knows what he's walking into, so you have to assume he wants to do it.
Who are we to judge that? Who are we to decide what is real in the BDSM society, or what is good?
I could argue for forever on why it's silly to say "this Dom is only looking to take advantage of subs"... yeah, that is sort of the point of all this. Submissives are their to serve their Doms, and their skills are taken advantage of. Isn't that what we find so fun about it? I mean, that's why I do it, at least. I enjoy being a source of advantage for my Master, and I don't expect nor really want anything back so you could say he is taking advantage of me. I signed up for that, that is what I enjoy.
Each BDSM relationship is going to be wildly different as the next. We can't judge these relationships because there is no set rule to relationships. Couples will do what they want to do. As long as everyone is consenting to it and safe, then I personally don't see the issue.
thank you everyone for your comments, but especially Dru Deadly and luna for making me consider this from a different viewpoint (which is why i love having a blog so much).
9:18 AMi know there are Pro-Dommes out there (i assume there are Pro-Doms too but never hear about them) and i accept that what they do fills a niche in the market and is a part of the very wide BDSM umbrella. i also have no issue with subs buying presents for the Dommes they serve or play with or see on a casual basis, i think it's a nice way of showing their appreciation. But i still fee that this particular case i mentioned goes beyond this and is pure exploitation. i know nobody forces the subs to give her money or gifts, but i also know from the chatrooms that finding a Domme in the first place is way harder for boy subbies than finding a Dom is for girls. So it makes this seem like preying on the desperate and vulnerable. Just my view though.
Financial domination is a valid kink. I've seen it expressed before in both healthy and unhealthy manners.
5:09 PMSaying that it gives you and others like you a bad name is just as bad as folks who are into domestic discipline saying that kinky people into the whole bdsm scene (or leather, or whatever) give THEM a bad name.
I hate cheesy acronym things- but you know, the whole "just because your kink isn't my kink doesn't mean it's not ok" thing might apply here, I think.
It does of course come down to the person and what they're into. While we should be accepting of any safe/consensual act of BDSM, we will obviously have things we don't personally enjoy doing,. So while I think financial Domination/slavery is perfectly fine and acceptable, I personally wouldn't enjoy doing it. I do feel BDSM is strongest in a mental form, and I would personally feel strange to financially Dominate anyone, even if they were willing, because I'm more about the mental, unseen power of power exchange, rather than the tangible, obvious acts of the relationship.
8:37 PMI suppose everyone has someone out there meant for them. The sub who loves to lavish his Domme with expensive gifts will always find her somehow, and the Dommes who just enjoy a nice footrub and a clean house have someone out there for them too :)
Honey, please see my comment above - i am not against Pro-Dommes, nor do i see anything wrong with a sub giving his Domme presents and gifts....
6:48 AMBut i still feel that this particular case borders on the exploitative. The whole "YKINMKBYKIOK" thing doesn't mean that we should just accept everything as being a valid expression of BDSM - bestiality being an example which springs immediately to mind. i think there's such a thing as being too accepting of others' 'kinks' and turning a blind eye to the fact that some people use the BDSM label to get away with things that really shouldn't be tolerated or associated with the lifestyle at all. Again just my opinion.
Financial domination is a mine field of a topic, libby. Even reading the responses to your post, I found one that made me want to wallop the writer with a large wet fish LOL ... and that reflects the nature of the topic. It's always contentious!!
2:52 AMsometimes i'm so naive about what might be a contentious issue. i just post my thoughts and then occasionally get surprised by the response! But i figure it's my blog and readers don't have to agree with everything i say...
12:00 PMAbsolutely :)
1:14 AMPost a Comment