Rules

June 12, 2011

Rules

Quite a few other bloggers have been posting about rules recently, most of them saying that they don't have lists of rules as slaves, that they're glad that they don't and that they regard such rules as petty and unrealistic and more associated with 'wanabee' fantasists than those truly living the lifestyle. i'm not sure if they really meant to say all that, but that's how i've interpreted what's been said. And the bit that's hit me hardest is the fact that the list of rules they're all being most critical about, the '128 basic slave rules' which can be widely found on the internet, is what my rules are based on. Sir read through that document, among others, took bits of it, adapted it and added to it and produced my first set of rules for when i was initially collared by Him (though i then had 70 rules, not 128). Since then my rules have been updated, due to our changing circumstances and as things happened which meant Sir needed to personalise them even further to our needs. But i can't get away from the fact that the type of rules i had, and still have, are precisely the type of rules which have come in for so much criticism of late on other blogs.

Before i go any further, i'm going to give you a link to the 128 Basic Slave Rules which i'm talking about: here and also to my rules (the first set i was given): here, so you can compare them. Yes there's differences and yes my rules are obviously personalised to me (and in my opinion some of the more silly or unrealistic rules have been omitted from the version my Sir devised, such as '#3. i worship my Master', '#61. my Master will decide what my sexual orientation shall be' or '#89. i will not wear a pad or tampon when i am on my period without His permission'.) But for some reason all this talk of unrealistic rules has left me feeling very vulnerable. i'm not questioning the solidity of mine and Sir's relationship, neither am i questioning the reality of our roles, i'm not even questioning how useful the rules have been for me or whether i really needed them, because i know that i did and i wouldn't have become the slave i am without them. Even today when it's not possible for me to follow all the rules i used to, due to commitments with the children, i still need to have a set of rules in order to feel like His slave and to know what is expected of me. Yes i have internalised His expectations by now, so i could survive without the physical written down rules, but if He took them away tomorrow i would still automatically abide by them because i know that's how He wishes me to behave.

i guess i'm just surprised that a fundamental element of our M/s relationship, one i rely on and need and value so much is so laughed at and frowned upon and derided by some others that up until now i have looked up to and respected. It doesn't give me a very good feeling inside to know this or to read the comments from others about how it's usually 'newbie', deluded, fantasist, game-playing, rose-tinted people who think these types of rules are a good idea and that once people enter into a proper real-life M/s relationship they soon realise that these types of rules are neither practical nor valuable. Especially now that i'm already feeling fragile and wondering what the future of our relationship will be due to the difficulties of looking after 3 young children, one of whom has complex special needs, i guess it doesn't do much to reassure me and it makes me question myself even more :(

That's it for now.