July 09, 2011
formspring.me #77
i've heard that idea a lot too, mainly online in chatrooms and on blogs and stuff. i'm not sure that i really believe it, but it's hard to prove or refute or even to draw parallels from the vanilla world. It's not like saying 'those who have been children make the best parents' or 'those who have been employees make the best managers' because in those types of situations it is natural to be one before progressing to the other. i don't see that there's a natural progression from being submissive to being Dominant, in fact i see them as being opposite to each other and requiring a completely different internal nature. So to me, someone who is a good sub would make a poor Dom/me and vice-versa.
Having said that there are plenty of examples online, in chatrooms and on other blogs, of people who are switches (act in both Dom/me and sub roles as they desire) or who started off sub and then became Dom/me (or sometimes the other way round but not so often). So i know it does happen. It's just difficult for me to get my head round the fact that someone can have both sets of characteristics and both cravings/needs/desires within them to make a good sub and a good Dom/me. And i'm not at all sure that i agree that subs make the best Dom/mes. In my experience i find the best Dom/mes are those who have always had naturally Dominant characteristics within them that make them born leaders and do not possess an ounce of submissiveness. But then that's my view/experience, yours may well vary.
As for the question of what kind of Domme i would be, the answer is simple: a very poor one. i have no desire to order someone else around, to control them, to inflict pain on them, to make them carry out my every wish and desire, to deny them, to make them wait, to humiliate them, etc, etc. If ordered to Domme someone by my Sir i would try it, but think i would fail. And i could never imagine Domming my Sir, even if He told me to. It would just be so unnatural and unnerving.
Hope that answered your questions!
Having said that there are plenty of examples online, in chatrooms and on other blogs, of people who are switches (act in both Dom/me and sub roles as they desire) or who started off sub and then became Dom/me (or sometimes the other way round but not so often). So i know it does happen. It's just difficult for me to get my head round the fact that someone can have both sets of characteristics and both cravings/needs/desires within them to make a good sub and a good Dom/me. And i'm not at all sure that i agree that subs make the best Dom/mes. In my experience i find the best Dom/mes are those who have always had naturally Dominant characteristics within them that make them born leaders and do not possess an ounce of submissiveness. But then that's my view/experience, yours may well vary.
As for the question of what kind of Domme i would be, the answer is simple: a very poor one. i have no desire to order someone else around, to control them, to inflict pain on them, to make them carry out my every wish and desire, to deny them, to make them wait, to humiliate them, etc, etc. If ordered to Domme someone by my Sir i would try it, but think i would fail. And i could never imagine Domming my Sir, even if He told me to. It would just be so unnatural and unnerving.
Hope that answered your questions!
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1 comments:
I think I've always taken that statement a bit differently; not so much that subs *want* to be dominant, but that subs (maybe) have an
2:36 PMempathetic grasp of submission, and might therefore be quite nifty at taking someone else to that place, even if it doesn't come naturally.
I know it doesn't for me, one of the things I was most 'scared' of (complicated concept) when I was in a D/s relationship was being made to be dominant
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