Why lie?

July 26, 2011

Why lie?

When i first started going to the BDSM online chatrooms, Sir warned me that many people on there are not who they claim to be. i've come to find out just what He meant by that statement and how extensive the lying and deception can be, and to be honest it makes me sad. i've seen/ heard about people pretending to be the opposite gender or the opposite D/s persuasion (normally to get their rocks off when nobody will 'play' with them in their true identity, but sometimes with a more sinister intent such as to prey on people), people with multiple online nicks who do not own up to being all the same person (i even heard about someone's Mistress turning out to be the same person as her best subbie friend), people who are married or in a relationship in real-life who pretend not to be, people who pretend to be in a real-life D/s relationship who aren't really, people who pretend to have way more experience than they do, people who fool themselves and others that they are genuine lifestyles when really they just want a bit of naughty fun, people who lie about their appearance or age, people who make arrangements to meet others with no intention of ever showing up (sometimes people travel vast distances, spend loads of money on plane tickets, even pack up and move across the world to be with someone they think they're starting a real-life relationship with, only for the other person never to show up or contact them again), people who pretend to have done things in r/l that they never have (this becomes obvious when they have no regard for safety or when they describe scenes in an almost 'cartoon' like manner), people who are collared to multiple 'Masters' or who have multiple subs but don't tell each one about the others, and so on......

Some of the reasons for lying i kind of understand, though i still don't think it's a good idea. But some of the lies i just don't get - i guess it all boils down to fantasy and make believe; people don't have the life they want for whatever reason, so they invent it to make themselves feel better and to 'show off' to others and get admiration and attention. Which makes me feel sad for them and also for all those pulled into their lies who build up relationships with those people and genuinely believe they are who they say they are. When you make friends with someone online, get involved in their life, feel for them, spend time chatting with them and advising them and supporting them, then find out that none of what they said was real..... it makes you feel very angry and hurt and betrayed.

OK, rant over. Thanks for listening. (BTW please don't ask me why i bother going into online chats if these are the problems encountered, i've answered why i do it on other posts - thanks).