Humiliation

August 23, 2011

Humiliation

i can't believe that i forgot to write about this before, but on Sunday i officially had my 'humiliation' training signed off by Sir and Sir Mark. There's been lots of things done to me during this training that i haven't wanted to write about here because i find humiliation quite a difficult emotion to process, but one of the conditions of me passing this training was to write on my blog about things i find humiliating in a BDSM context, so here goes.

i know that humiliation is very personal and subjective, so what some people would find arousing and 'fun' others will find humiliating and difficult. i think that i tend to find more things humiliating than most subs/slaves do, which is partly why this training has been so difficult for me. And also i don't get turned on by the humiliation factor in itself like other subs seem to, though if arousing things are being done to me at the same time i can get turned on despite the humiliation. OK, enough skipping around the topic, here's a list of things i find humiliating:

- being naked in front of people apart from my Sir, even people who have seen me naked before like Sir's Dom/me friends, it still humiliates me to be nude in front of them, especially when they are fully clothed and weirdly enough having some clothes on makes it more humiliating - like them putting me in high heels or over-the knee socks but naked otherwise. i don't know why.
- being gagged with open-mouth gags or having a head-harness attached. i hate the amount of drool with an open-mouth gag and i find it humiliating that they can put things in my mouth and i can't stop them. And the harness is too much like an animal harness for me to feel comfortable with it.
- being tied or strapped into embarassing positions which either leave me vulnerable and open (such as lying on my back with my legs apart and up) or make parts of my body look 'silly' or 'weird' (in my view) , such as inserting a nose clip or tying nipple clamps off to the side so they pull outwards.
- treating me like an animal, such as putting a pig tail buttplug in and making me snort or milking me like a cow.
- anything which stretches my nipples or makes them even bigger than usual, such as using nipple suckers on them or having the tower of pain device put on. i think that my nipples are too big anyway so making them bigger and drawing attention to them i find very humiliating.
- having a butt plug or dildo put in or taken out. For some reason i don't find them humiliating in themselves, unless there is an animal tail attached as mentioned before, but having to allow one of them to be pushed into my pussy or bottom i find very humiliating and i also hate having them taken out because i am worried what might be seen on them, if you know what i mean. Oh, and having a dildo pumped in and out of me is also humiliating for similar reasons.
- body parts 'jiggling' during a scene, such as my titties or bottom wobbling when flogged or paddled or if i am on all fours and my titties are hanging down and made to jiggle because something or someone is banging into my bottom.
- cumming in front of anyone other than my Sir, unless they cum too. i find it especially humiliating to make lots of juice when i cum and for that to be running onto my thighs or dripping on the floor. Or for it to be collected.
- having male subs or slaves watch any type of 'play' or 'training' session of mine, especially if all they do is watch and don't have anything done to them. Or if they are allowed to join in in some way, by putting a gag in me or by clamping something on me. Or if they are invited to take a closer look at a certain body part of mine. This one is especially humiliating to me.
- being naked outside, being tied up or gagged or clamped outside, being flogged outside.... you get the idea.

So there you have it, the top 10 things i find humiliating in a BDSM context. Please feel free to add any others which you find humiliating, i'd love to read other subs' points of view!