Why do it?

October 09, 2011

Why do it?

Several times this question has cropped up on this blog: why do i bother going into online BDSM chatrooms when i have a r/l M/s relationship with my Sir? i know i've given some reasons before, but i want to properly answer the question here, giving all my reasons so that hopefully people understand a bit better:





1. friendship - i mainly go into the BDSM chatroom to catch up with my friends. i have made quite a few friends in the room and it's nice to be able to chat with them and find out what's new in their lives. It's a lovely thing to have people interested in my life and my family and supporting me in my achievements and helping me with my problems and stuff.

2. relationships - there are some people in the chatroom who i have formed special relationships with, who i am attracted to, who i love, who i have a deep connection with. It's important for me to continue going there so that i can keep up those relationships, otherwise i would miss those people who are so important to me.

3. advice - in my real-life there's not that many people i can go to for relationship or BDSM advice (except for Sir of course). i don't even feel i can really talk about that stuff with the subs/slaves of Sir's friends because i don't get to see them that often and don't know them well enough to share all my problems. But i know there's enough people in the chatroom for me to be able to get a range of opinions and advice from others who know what i'm going through and can share their own experiences.

4. relaxation - in the evenings when the kiddies are in bed and Sir and i are snuggled up together on the sofa or in bed, i need to find something to occupy myself and help me chill out. i'm not really interested in TV and usually too tired to read, so i choose to chat online instead. i feel like need a bit of 'me' time after being busy with the kids and the house all day.

5. slave needs - due to the fact that we have 3 young children and one of them has significant special needs, there's not that much time for me and Sir to do Master and slave stuff. Sometimes my slave side can feel neglected, not through anyone's fault, but because of the way our life is right now. i can't express my slave side in my interactions with mose people i meet during the day, so being free to be myself and act in a submissive manner in the chatrooms helps to redress that balance and make me feel more at peace.

i hope that helped explain some of the reasons i still visit the online chatrooms. Obviously i'm not there seeking a Dom/me or even looking for some 'play' because i get that in real-life. i will occasionally scene with someone i know well, but that's more due to my relationship with them than to get a need met. And i'm well aware of the difficulties and deceptions which are attached to online friendships, but i think they're worth the risk considering all the benefits i get.