a submissive's musings: December 2011

Survey of the year 2011

Getting a couple of posts in before we go away to Disneyland tomorrow, so here's the now traditional survey of this year:

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?

built and used a sensory room in the loft, gave injections to my baby, wore a clit clip, demo-subbed for a product stand at a play party, held a birthday party at the sealife centre with 12 kids, had sex outdoors.... many things!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i purposefully didn't make any this year and feel much freer because of it, so not planning to make any for next year unless Sir tells me to.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year?

my sister gave birth to a little boy called Callum and he is gorgeous :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?

my nan did and it was sad, but she had a good life (she was 100).

5. What countries did you visit this year?

we are just about to visit France (Disneyland Paris), right at the end of the year!

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?

i honestly can't think of anything, though i am really looking forward to going to the London Olympics in August next year, so that should be good :)

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory and why?

30th September - the date my sister gave birth (early) to her first baby.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

learning to tolerate the single-tail whip being used on me without panicking.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

nothing beyond the usual colds, i've been quite healthy this year.

10. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?

my sister's baby being born and our trip to Disneyland Paris.

11. What song will always remind you of this year?

can't really think of one, though the Sesame Street theme tune will serve to remind me of Finn's obsession with Elmo this year!

12. Compared to this time last year are you:- happier or sadder? :- richer or poorer? :- thinner or fatter?

happier (a little) because i am more accepting of William's disability and can see the fantastic progress he has managed to make, about the same financially and about the same weight wise though probably a little thinner as i have got rid of the baby weight from last year.

13. What do you wish you'd done more of?

been more patient with people making annoying comments about William - i'll try to work on this next year.

14. What do you wish you'd done less of?

falling asleep while using the laptop in the evenings - i'm going to get myself in trouble about it one of these days.

15. Did you fall in love this year?

i am already in love and that has continued to grow.

16. What was your favourite TV program for the year?

again, i haven't watched much TV this year but i have enjoyed 'Miranda', 'Outnumbered' and 'An idiot abroad' on the internet, as well as Big Brother.

17. What was the best book you read this year?

i don't think i had time to read a single book this year :(, too busy with the kids. Maybe next year?

18. What was your favourite film of the year?

Arthur Christmas, not because it was an amazing film but because it was the first one i have taken the twins to see at the cinema and they were so well-behaved and it got me in the Christmas spirit.

19. Who was the best new person you met this year?

moly (from the chatroom).

20. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year?

that sometimes i won't be able to achieve everything Sir wants me to in my training, but so long as i try my best He'll still be pleased with me.

Just a quick post to say that we all had a great Christmas. Thank you to everyone who sent messages or emails with Christmas wishes and a special thank you to one friend and blog reader who sent a voucher which will be spent on the kidlets soon!

Christmas Day itself we'd decided to spend together at home, just the 5 of us and it was a lovely day. Poppy and Finn were very excited the night before, culminating in Finn pulling his stocking down and wearing it on his head like a Wee Willy Winky hat, running round the house squealing..... but we did manage to get everyone settled down in bed and asleep at a reasonable time! Finn was the first awake in the morning and came toddling through dragging both his and William's stockings with him, shouting "Sanny! Sanny!" (Santa) so very soon after that all 3 kidlets were in our bed opening their presents from Santa - we give them a stocking of smaller gifts and a sack of larger gifts from Santa and then we save other presents under the tree from family to be opened after dinner. Poppy got the bike she wanted from Santa and was a very happy girl, Finn got a drumming Elmo and a cookie-counting Cookie Monster and was beside himself with delight and William got plenty of sensory toys and was happily learning how to play with them as i went downstairs to sort out the breakfast.

We watched some Christmas movies together in the morning and the kids played with their new toys some more (and Poppy tried out her bike down the driveway - it has stabilisers so she can ride it by herself, we'll remove those as she gets older). me and Sir had agreed to share the cooking this year and i wrote a schedule of when everything needed to be done, so it worked out really well and we didn't forget anything. Dinner was very tasty, there was plenty of it and all 3 kids ate some of it, even William ate the mashed potatoes mixed with a little gravy. Though we did have one moment in the middle of dinner when Finn suddenly took a dislike to his brussel sprouts and threw them at the wall shouting "Noooooo!", so had to have a couple of minutes calming-down time in the lounge while we got the wall cleaned up and then explained to him that that's not what we do with food we don't like! After dinner we sat round the Christmas tree to open more presents and this is when Sir and i exchanged gifts too. i got lots and lots of lovely things this year - spa vouchers, bath stuff, smellies, perfume, jewellery, clothes, DVDs, books, bags, shoes, nail polish, things to keep me warm in bed.... and Sir was very pleased with the presents He got too. The kids were thoroughly spoiled and got more toys than they knew what to do with and everyone went to bed that night full and tired and content :)

Yesterday (Boxing Day) we had my parents and Sir's mum round for lunch and the kidlets got even more presents, though William had had enough by then and we had to give him some quiet time in the sensory room to chill out for a bit. But leaving aside all the presents and food, what really made Christmas great for us this year was spending it together as a family, being with those we love, seeing the children so happy and content, playing together and appreciating how lucky we are to have each other. And as i sat there watching the kids playing and interacting with each other, i realised just how much each one of them has grown and progressed in the past year, in their own ways, and it made me really look forward to 2012 to see everything they are going to achieve next year. And of course i'm super excited about taking them to Disneyland (Paris) at the end of this week!

i hope everyone else had a great Christmas and got to spend some time relaxing with family and friends. And have a good New Year too!

i would like to wish all readers of this blog a very happy Christmas. i hope you all get to spend time with the ones you love, with plenty of presents, good food and lots of time to relax. We're planning on spending Christmas Day as a family together, then there'll be visits to and from extended family before we get ready for New Year's at Disneyland.

Happy holidays everyone :)

And so we come to the last of my posts on my brilliant kidlets and i've saved possibly the most brilliant till last - this post is about William.

For those who don't know i'll give a brief explanation of William's disability (you might want to skip this paragraph if you already know): William was diagnosed with a condition called Tuberous Sclerosis before he was born - he has over 50 tubers in his brain, which basically means he has brain damage to every area except for the brain stem. He also has 2 subependynal nodules in his brain which have to be monitored because they could grow and cause fluid on the brain in future and he has smaller tubers in his heart but these are shrinking and haven't caused him any problems. William's brain damage means he has developmental delays (he is currently functioning at the level of a 3 month old at the age of 16 months) and epilepsy resulting in several seizures a day, despite being on a cocktail of medication. William also has a cortical visual impairment, meaning his brain can't process the messages from his eyes properly, sensory processing difficulties making him hyper-sensitive to some sounds, tastes and textures and he is also displaying some characteristics of autism which is strongly correlated with his condition. William is enrolled in an early intervention clinic and receives speech therapy, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy, a group music and movement session and advice and input from an occupational therapist and a visual impairment specialist. i also carry out daily therapy with William in the sensory room we built in our loft.

William has made amazing progress despite all his difficulties and he is now able to:
- look at, focus on and track objects, toys and pictures in normal lighting
- show recognition of familiar people and favourite toys
- show preferences for some colours over others
- operate large switch pads independently to activate favourite sensory equipment
- reach out for and take toys offered to him
- pick up toys from the floor to investigate
- tolerate and enjoy some textures
- splash with his hands in water
- support his own head
- remain in a seated position with cushions to support him
- push up from the floor with his arms for increasing amounts of time
- make happy, cross and upset noises

William is a very determined little boy and he doesn't let his disabilities get in the way of something he wants to do. He will try and try and try until he succeeds and he can be very stubborn when he wants to be! William is generally very happy and affectionate, loves physical contact and snuggling with his family, is beginning to respond to his twin brother Finn more and more (he learnt a new skill from Finn the other day that none of his therapists have been able to get him to do!), has a gorgeous giggle and a beautiful smile and quickly captures people's hearts. Some of William's favourite things are: bathtime and water play, light-up toys, music and songs, bubbles, ducks, being outside in the sunshine, watching the wind blowing the leaves on the trees, being in the woods or on the beach, massage and being in the sensory room. For Christmas we have got William a variety of sensory toys - ones that light up, play music, makes noises or are for water play. We think he will enjoy using them very much!

Thanks for reading about my little peanut, William

Time for the next post raving on about how brilliant my kidlets are - if a mum can't be proud of her own kids, then who can? This one about Finn.

Finn is a delightful mix of contrasts and opposites - he is very patient and laid-back when waiting to have his needs seen to and always has been (e.g. eating, drinking, being changed, etc), but yet he is very energetic in terms of needing to be on the go all day, constantly running and climbing and doing things, hardly ever sits down for long, etc. He is very thoughtful when it comes to William, very intuitive and understanding of his needs, encourages him to get involved and try to do things and he has always been this way since birth, but yet he is very destructive in his play and exploration of the world - some of his favourite things to do are tipping things out, pulling things onto the floor, piling things into heaps, banging things together, playing in the dirt, making a mess in general. He is very happy and contented, always smiling and giggling, excited about new things he can do and new things to be discovered, easy to keep amused and occupied, but yet he is also going through a 'no' phase where he answers 'no' to everything we ask him to do, has occasional but very big tantrums if he can't get his own way and has started having 'grumpy' moments where nothing can cheer him up. Overall, Finn is happy, cheeky, cheery, mischevious, friendly, impulsive, patient, energetic, tolerant, destructive, caring, noisy, thoughtful, boisterous and fun.

Finn, like Poppy, is ahead in his development and has been since he was born. He was early to walk and to talk and now at the age of 16 months has already mastered these skills:

- say about 60 words recognisably and is beginning to put words together into 2-word phrases
- use pointing, gestures and body language to communicate as well as some signs if he doesn't have the words
- ask questions using appropriate vocal tone
- understand most of what is said to him and answer simple questions, such as pointing to body parts etc.
- recognise many objects and pictures and point to them on request
- walk, run, go up and down stairs, climb, dance, throw objects, roll and kick a ball
- use a 'big boy' bed
- build towers of bricks and use stacking and posting toys
- complete simple inset puzzles on his own
- dig in sand using a spade and pour water into and out of containers
- feed himself and drink independently from an open cup
- take his clothes off and attempt to put some on
- copy adults' actions and engage in pretend play, such as using a toy hoover
- scribble with a crayon
- search for hidden objects and people

Some of Finn's favourite things are: Sesame Street (especially Elmo), cars, trains, motorbikes, boats, planes, trucks, tractors, balls, painting, messy play, music, noisy toys, bricks and building blocks, interactive character toys, bubbles, being outside, being naked, bath-time, water, the park, the woods, mud. For Christmas we have got Finn lots of Sesame Street toys, Duplo, a toy garage, a new train set, sensory and messy play toys, a baby drum set, a bubble blower, a ride-on tractor, sand and water toys and noisy/sound toys. He should be very happy with his loot!

Thanks for reading :)

So i realised i've fallen by the wayside a little in terms of posts here, but honestly things are just so busy around here that it's difficult for me to find time to think of what to write, let alone find the time to write it. But with Christmas fast approaching i've been thinking lately about how brilliant my little family is and how proud i am to be the mummy of all three of my kidlets. So the next few posts are going to be about my brilliant children and giving more details on where they're at right now. If you're not interested in reading about my kids, feel free to skip them.....

Poppy is now 3 1/2, going on 13. Seriously, she seems so grown up sometimes, has such in depth conversations about things, has such brilliant logic and insight and understanding that often i forget she hasn't even started school yet and is still a very little girl. Poppy is definitely brighter than average for her age and i'm not just saying this because i'm her mummy. Some of the things Poppy can already do:

- write her own name and all the letters of the alphabet correctly
- copy words below an adult model accurately
- know all the letter sounds and say the letter that some words start with
- read quite a number of words on sight and try to sound out others using phonetic knowledge
- draw people, animals, trees, houses and cars recognisably
- attempt to copy shapes drawn by an adult
- name all shapes on sight, including pentagon, hexagon and octagon
- recognise numbers to 20 and count to 50
- count a set of objects accurately up to 10
- make a set of objects the same as one made by an adult
- say which set has more
- say colours, numbers, days of the week and animals in French
- answer questions in French including her name, address, age, etc.
- know the days of the week and months of the year
- know her name, address, phone number and date of birth
- name all the species of birds which visit our garden
- know facts on many animals
- ballet dance and swim
- and many more :)

Poppy has a thirst for learning and is currently wanting to learn to tell the time and recognise coins. She loves learning about animals and knows more about some of the species than i do! Poppy has many interests including: ballet and dancing, music and singing, French, reading stories, painting, arts and crafts, cooking and baking, animals and birds (especially sea creatures), swimming, writing and drawing, colouring, cutting and sticking, puppets, pretend play and dressing up, playing outside, walking in the woods, going to the beach, playground equipment, TV and films, play dough, stickers, hairdressing, Disney princesses, Dora the Explorer, Peppa Pig to name a few.
She is a great sister to both the boys, very patient with them, loves playing with them and spending time with them, tries to teach them new things and very proud when they learn something new, very protective of William and understanding of his problems. Poppy is usually very well-behaved, has good manners, rarely has tantrums or refuses to do something, tidies up after herself, is very loving and affectionate and friendly, loves to be helpful, has a very caring nature, is never demanding in terms of time, attention or material goods, is very bright and inquisitive and thoughtful and curious about the world. She is a great daughter and a lovely little girl and i am very lucky to be her mummy.

For Christmas we have got Poppy a mix of educational and fun presents including Dora the Explorer and Peppa Pig stuff, a bike, a play kitchen, an Innotab (kid's iPad), art and craft stuff, paints, colouring books, reading books, clothes, play dough and animal stuff. She should be very happy on Christmas morning!
Thanks for reading about my Poppy :)

A while back now swan of 'The Heron Clan' wrote a post about Dominants and what natural qualities would be required to make a good Dom. Here's her list:

Honesty
Trustworthiness
Integrity
Self-Control
Sense of Humor (even at himself)
Capacity to Love, Be Loved and to Express that Love
Desire to Learn and Grow, both for himself and for his partner
Dependability
SELF AWARE

i have said before that i consider Sir to be naturally Dominant, not in an arrogant arsehole got-to-be-in-charge-of-everything way, but there are many personality traits He possesses which make Him naturally dominant in all of His relationships, in the way He interacts with people, in a work situation, in His private life, etc. So here below is a list of the natural qualities i believe Sir has that make Him a good Dom:

- air of authority
- confidence
- practicality
- trustworthiness
- honesty
- good communicator
- good listener
- empathetic
- self-control
- consistency
- integrity
- dependability
- self-awareness
- sense of humour
- compassion

I think that people who possess the above characteristics are likely to act in a dominant way in their lives, even if they are not Dominants in the BDSM sense. Of course other people will possess some or most or all of the above traits to some extent, but it is when someone has them in abundance that they make a good Dom/me. IMHO of course :)

Sorry for not going into more detail on my thoughts on these characteristics and why they are so important to my Sir being a good Dom. Things are a little crazy round here at the moment trying to get ready for Christmas and our Disneyland Paris trip straight after, keep the household running, look after the kids and keep up with all William's therapies and the clubs we go to, teach Poppy who is super thirsty for knowledge right now, stop Finn from destroying the whole house and the Christmas tree in particular, be a good wife and slave to Sir and so on... you get the picture. But i'm very happy for anyone to leave their comments on this post and tell me the qualities you think a good Dom/me should have. Thanks!